Hi Baggybear, just wanted to add my sympathy for you too. Almost 4 years ago, I went through exactly the same thing as you - same time frame, same physical sensations, same experience in the toilet .... and, by the sounds of it, same emotions.
Of course you are grieving for your baby. It angers me (though they're probably not being deliberately nasty) when other people refer to a MC as being "for the best", or it not "really" being a baby yet. What baffles me is that no-one is so dismissive when you announce a successful - but equally early - pregnancy. When I found I was pregnant, of course you start to imagine what the baby will be like - you imagine their future basically ... and when you miscarry, it's not only your baby you lose, but yours & their future together as well. In other words, what you understood about your future life yesterday, suddenly doesn't apply any more and that understandably knocks you for six.
I found it very hard to "get over" - even now, I still feel upset if I think about, but all too often, I think that women who experience this aren't allowed to grieve properly ... another thing that's been quoted to me is that approx. 1 in 3 women miscarry at some stage, as if that'd make me feel better ? To my mind, that means that an awful lot of women must go through this anguish, it doesn't mean it's trivial.
I ate myself up because I felt the passage of something when I went to the loo. In a strange way I felt very guilty for flushing it away - but what else could I do ? I also felt terrible each time I passed what appeared to be a little more tissue and obviously, had to throw that away too. Like you, I have the pregnancy test which confirms the one-time existennce of another baby. I don't think I'm morbid to keep this ... I have been pregnant 3 times (2 live births) and I'm not going to shush that up if I don't want to.
The thing is, I think each woman has to deal with something like this the way she wants - blow anyone else who feels uncomfortable by mention of such things. For example, if asked how many children I have I say 2, but then add that I lost another baby early in pregnancy. I don't care if that's the done thing or not, but personally, to say otherwise, would feel to me like I was betraying that baby's memory ... if that makes sense. In my head, as well, I always think of that baby as a girl called xxxxx - though obviously, I didn't know the sex.
What I also did was to buy a simple silver ring as a memento of the baby. Guess I just wasn't prepared to sweep the whole thing under the carpet, because it was important to me. I only knew I was pregnant for a couple of weeks before, but in that time, my mindset completely geared up for the arrival of the new baby - and as there had been a huge gap (11.5 yrs) between this pregnancy and my previous one, I invested a lot of hope in it. When I miscarried, I just couldn't understand the injustice of what had happened - why did fate put me through that after waiting so long ?
So, BB, I know that there's very little anyone else can say which is going to make you feel better. As with any bereavement, the time it takes for you to start to feel "normal" again will be as long as the proverbial bit of string. That means you take as long as you like, and you deal with your loss in any way you want. I am really really sorry .... take care.