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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Bleeding - Advice?

93 replies

bluestar · 06/07/2003 10:33

I only found out I was pregnant last week and now at nearly 5 weeks, I have started bleeding. It started off as spotting a few days ago, then after a bowel movement, the blood was fresh, then it went brown again, all the time starting and stopping and today I am bleeding like a light period. Only other symptoms are a bit of tummy ache, but nothing bad, still have bigger boobs (not as sore though) and metallic taste and feel a bit sick. Last pregnancy I had no symptoms at all, but on day 1 of missed period, I felt sick. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that this pregnancy is over and obviously feel very disappointed, am due to see GP tomorrow anyway and understand that even a scan probably would not show anything at this stage anyway, does this sound like it's all over to those that have been through this. I can't believe that within a week I have been pregnant and now may not be.

OP posts:

bossykate · 10/07/2003 15:02

thanks everyone for these kind messages here, and also to those who have emailed me. Thanks especially to those who have shared their own m/c experiences.

didn't go to work today - went for a 5min "lie down" at 8am and didn't wake till 11.30 - decision made!

will go in tomorrow as it is doing my head in a bit staying here. don't know what i will say to people at work, will probably maintain that it has been food poisoning all week.

bluestar, janz - best wishes to you both, hope you are feeling better soon.

Original poster

bluestar · 10/07/2003 15:11

BK, from my experience of returning to work, I thought I would be fine, but do feel that surrounding myself with lots of people has meant that my feelings have been bubbling away under the surface with everyone asking if I am better now (they do not know the real reason). It's quite hard so be prepared. I hope it is ok though.

JanZ, my thoughts are with you too.

OP posts:

LEWEI · 10/07/2003 16:57

My heart goes out to all of you, do what you feel is best for you. After my second mc i took a weeks holiday and i felt stronger mentally for it. It gave me time to come to terms with what had happened. You are in my prayers.

motherinferior · 10/07/2003 18:29

Both of you - just logged on, I'm so so sorry.

ks · 10/07/2003 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hewlettsdaughter · 10/07/2003 20:02

Bluestar, what you say you are feeling sounds so familiar (have you read the start of the Feelings after miscarriage thread? It does get better though. Bossykate - I'm glad you didn't go into work today. Good luck if you decide to go in tomorrow.

hewlettsdaughter · 10/07/2003 20:08

JanZ - good advice about taking things one day at a time. Hope you're ok.

quackers · 10/07/2003 20:17

Just wanted to add alittle note to say sorry and just reitterate that one day at a time is best even though it's a cliche, it's actually true as I'm sure all the other m/c ladies will agree.
PS Lewei, how are you keeping??

jojo21 · 11/07/2003 04:32

What can i say?! theres nothing i can say to you ladies to make it better and having been through it twice both at 23 weeks i feel your pain! Janz, BK and Bluestar when you feel like you need to scream or cry do it! it'll help you get some frustration out-my favorite thing after my 2 m/c was breaking glass! im so so sorry for all of you and im just glad you didn't have to go through the births like i did! Keep your chins up girls!

tigermoth · 11/07/2003 06:15

Very sorry to hear your news, Bossykate. If you do get in to work today, hope the day passes quickly but isn't too hectic.

And sorry about your news too, bluestar.

LEWEI · 11/07/2003 11:36

So far so good quackers, have had a little spotting and a few pains but nothing scary yet. My danger time is around the 24th of this month.

quackers · 11/07/2003 11:45

I'll be thinking of you then. I'm still amazed it happened so quick! Take care!LOLxx

rainbow · 11/07/2003 11:49

Bluestar and bossy Kate - I am so sorry to here your sad news.
No bossykate I don't think you are being a wimp! If you did go back to work I hope it all went well.
Don't under estimate your loss Bluestar, it may be early but it was still your baby and your need to deal with your feelings, they are just as important as everyone else's even if it does seem to you that others are having a worse time.

God luck to you both and love, hugs and x's are sent with this posting.

morocco · 11/07/2003 12:51

well now it's me posting here - I've just started bleeding - just a bit so far and it's brown but having read bluestar's first post and going by my own instinct it's not looking too good. Sad times.
I'm glad I haven't told lots of people (apart from you guys of course but that's different)because I feel like people would just say 'oh well it's only 5 weeks' which of course is true - it's not the same as further along in a pregnancy but as I read somewhere here yesterday, it's not just the loss of a baby but the loss of a hope of a baby.
Today I feel a bit sad of course. Trouble is I've played the 'stoical' card a bit too well with dh who hasn't even bothered asking how I feel today and everything is just back to normal for him. Also because the bleeding is only very light I find it hard to stop those hopeful feelings while another part of me just wants to get it all over with and know for sure.
I'm glad you're all hear to talk to

gingernut · 11/07/2003 13:01

Hi morocco, so sorry to hear you're going through it too. Have you seen a doctor yet? I really agree about the thing about losing the hope of having a baby. That's just how I felt. Letting go of the idea that you're having that particular baby, on that date, is so hard. People tend to say things like `I'm sure it'll be OK next time' but that's not the point - you wanted THIS baby. I also felt my dh didn't really feel the same way as I did, which was hard to cope with. He just thought it was a minor setback whereas I felt like everything was falling apart.

I hope everything is OK for you - it sounds like it is not necessarily the end. But you know where to come for a bit of sympathy, understanding and TLC.

Take care.

hewlettsdaughter · 11/07/2003 13:03

Morocco - it doesn't sound as if you should give up hope yet? Here's hoping the bleeding stops...

bossykate · 11/07/2003 13:21

very sad to see you here morocco, but bleeding does not invariably mean you are miscarrying - there could be a variety of explanations. can you get to an early pregnancy unit where they can assess you?

quackers · 11/07/2003 13:30

Ditto morocco, even if you have no EPU, go to a and e and they'll just refer you on and you would know more quickly. Is it when your period would have been as sometimes hormones can trigger this off a little but do no harm.Be thinking of you xxx

Original poster

bluestar · 11/07/2003 21:30

I hope that all turns out ok for you morocco. Yes I did start off with very light spotting and brown blood, however, from the very first bit of spotting, I felt that it was over. I know that lots of people bleed at various stages but I also believe that you 'know' that something is wrong and to be honest I held very little hope. Also from feeling very sick early on, metallic taste and sore boobs, these feelings stopped very quickly so hope for me sadly diminished. I completely agree that it is the loss of the hope of a baby and that is what I feel I am grieving for, rather than the 'baby' itself. Today however I do feel much better. The people I have told have been very supportive and no-one has even insinuated that it was only early days anyway. I hope that everyone going through this has someone out there supporting them and of course there's always mumsnet which has been great for me.

OP posts:

morocco · 11/07/2003 23:26

thank you all so much for your support which really means a lot to me - can I especially thank bluestar and bossykate. I know this is both a difficult time and a sensitive topic for you and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
I've been back to the doctors today and have hopeful news as the baby is still hanging in there and has also grown a bit and the bleeding has become what I could honestly call spotting. I still have bad backache which worries me but apparently this could be an infection so off for more tests tomorrow. It's funny (and I hope not ironic) that this evening is the first day I have felt physically like things were going OK with the pregnancy - until now I have been very pessimistic and just felt like things were not right somehow. It's so hard though to try to stay positive knowing that bad news could be just round the corner.
I have next week off work to put my feet up a bit so I'm crossing everything and hoping for the best.

Ghosty · 11/07/2003 23:26

BK ... Bluestar .... morrocco .... just wanted to add my hugs to you ...
As you know I had an m/c last year and it was heartbreaking ...
Thinking of you all .... {{{{{}}}}}

bossykate · 11/07/2003 23:35

morocco, that is fantastic news, everything crossed for you.

i've got some leaflets from the miscarriage association which say that in the majority of cases bleeding doesn't lead to m/c so hold on to that. good luck.

ghosty, i read your story at the time and am so pleased things are going much better now.

quackers · 12/07/2003 15:58

Great news Morocco!

jojo21 · 12/07/2003 19:16

Ahh morocco im so so happy for you! i hope you go on to have a trouble free pregnancy! All my luv'n'hugs to bluestar and bossy kate.

whymummy · 12/07/2003 19:25

good luck morroco and lots of hugs(((((()))))

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