Bleeding - Advice?

[bluestar]

I only found out I was pregnant last week and now at nearly 5 weeks, I have started bleeding. It started off as spotting a few days ago, then after a bowel movement, the blood was fresh, then it went brown again, all the time starting and stopping and today I am bleeding like a light period. Only other symptoms are a bit of tummy ache, but nothing bad, still have bigger boobs (not as sore though) and metallic taste and feel a bit sick. Last pregnancy I had no symptoms at all, but on day 1 of missed period, I felt sick. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that this pregnancy is over and obviously feel very disappointed, am due to see GP tomorrow anyway and understand that even a scan probably would not show anything at this stage anyway, does this sound like it's all over to those that have been through this. I can't believe that within a week I have been pregnant and now may not be.

So sorry to hear the news on this thread.

{{{{}}}} for both bluestar and bossykate. Please take the time to rest and get your thoughts together as much as possible. You are both in my thoughts.

Oh BK and Bluestar, such sad news. Biggest hugs to you both and I hope it gets better

I'm really sorry to hear your news bluestar and bossykate. Bossykate, I know it's each to their own, but I went to work all through my miscarriage, which in bleeding terms was no worse than a heavy period most of the time. I know that makes it sound as though I didn't care when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. For me, when I was at home I could hardly hold it all together, but at work I just got on with things, so it helped a bit. Hugs to you both.

Oh, I'm really sorry to hear this bluestar and bossykate. Bk, if you don't feel up to going to work, don't. If you think it will help though then go in. I'm so sorry this has happened, thinking of you.

Dear BK and Bluestar, I'm so so sorry. I hope you both make a speedy recovery and take all the time you need before going back to work. When the same happened to me (at 7 wks) I think I had a week off; the bleeding stopped after about 5 days. What I remember most is the fantastic support from Mumsnetters at the time. Lots of to you both.

I hope this isn't an inappropriate place to put this but it just came to mind - I don't know if anyone else read about this recently, but research has shown that women who have boy babies first are much more likely to miscarry the next time they become pregnant than women who have had girls first (I have one ds and I m/c'd at my next pg).
It seems there is sometimes an immune reaction to male babies; the first pg survives because of the strength of the foetus but at the next pg the body 'remembers' and forms antibodies, possibly causing the m/c.

Oh big hugs to both of you

BK go with your instinct but don't feel you have to 'pull yourself together and get on with it' if you don't want to, only you know. I miscarried twice but in my 'I never want kids' phase, had a couple of days off second time but I know would be COMPLETELY different now.

Take care xx

Bluestart - sorry to hear your news, it's hard to deal with however early on in the pregnancy you are.

BK - really sorry to hear about you too. In response to your specific question, of course it depends how you feel but, like tamum, I went back to work immediately after my m/c because it was the only way I could stop myself crying. It was my first pg, so at home I only had the cat for company. I really needed company and something to take my mind off things. See how you feel. As for the physical side of things, my experience was as follows. I was at 11 weeks. I bled and had menstrual type cramps for about 12-24 hours I think (during which time I went to hospital for scan, to be told I was definitely miscarrying, and they booked me in for D&C 3 days later). After I returned from hospital I started to have contractions just like mild labour pains. These went on for about 12 hours and then I passed the sac. I was at home at this point (it happened overnight). I would have found it difficult to cope with the pain if I'd been at work, especially since the only relief I could get was to move around (I took painkillers but they didn't really touch it). I went back to work the following day because the pain had subsided and the bleeding was just like a period really, Since it all happened naturally I didn't have to have the D&C.

I think other people have quite different experiences (from talking to friends who've also miscarried) so hopefully some other people will post so you get a fuller picture.

Really sorry you're both having to `wait and see' as well, which must be very hard.

Take care.

bossykate, I'm really sorry to hear this. And for you Bluestar. No advice but masses of sympathy to you both. And BK - take a few days off if you feel like it. It won't make any difference to people at work but it will make a difference to you in the long run.

bossykate and bluestar - really, really sorry to hear this.

Oh and don't worry about going back to work bk, look after yourself.

bluestar and bossykate so sorry to hear your news. Take care and cyberhugs to you both.

Oh no, I'm so very sorry to hear your news Bluestar and bossykate. Cyberhugs to you both.
Bk, as others have said, if you feel work will help, then go in. You have posted in the past about how family-friendly (comparatively speaking) your employer is...if you do feel suddenly weepy, is that something you and your colleagues will be OK with? That's the only thing that might put me off in your position. I cannot tell you how sad I am to read your news.
Take good care of yourselves, both of you.

so sorry both bluestar and bossykate about your sad news. Thinking of you both.

bluestar and bossykate am thinking of you both. from experience take your own time, things don't always hit you immediately, especially with hormones still surging around you.

So sorry to read your news Bossykate and Bluestar, sending you both lots of love & hugs.

really sorry for you both - take some time out and have a little 'me time' - you deserve it . xxx

Bossykate and bluestar, sorry to read your news today, can only send hugs and lots of love

Bluestar and Bossykate - I am so sorry to hear this. Look after yourselves.

I'm so sorry to hear your news BK and Bluestar. All the best to you and your partners.

Really sorry to hear your news, both bluestar and bk.

So sorry BK that you have had to join me on this thread. My emotions feel all over the place. Initially I was trying not to dwell on things, but yesterday, a touch of anger hit me, not because of losing the baby but that people were talking about trivial things and I wanted them to sympathise with me (only hardly anyone knows if this makes sense so I can't blame them). Today I feel a bit weepy. I guess hormones play such a big part. The bleeding has pretty much stopped now so the physical side is over (hopefully) and because it was so early, it is seen as natural and therefore will probably not need to go through with a scan unless the bleeding starts again or I get any pain. BK, the wait for a scan etc. must be really hard so I send you an extra special hug. I also get torn between feeling that lots of people I know have suffered miscarriages and I should get on with it but like some people on here have posted, it is happening to us right now whatever stage the loss occurs and the emotions seem to keep creeping up on me. Let me know how you get on.

I've just been through this. The waiting period is the worst - which is why I opted to have the d&c (although as it was 6 days after the first scan, I did give my body the opportunity to do it naturally).

In my case I only found out when I went for the CVS - I should have been 11+ weeks, but the scan onyt showed about 6 weeks (although I'm told it could have happened any time and shrunk back to 6 week size). I went back a few days later (Friday) to confirm that the sac was getting smaller (even though I was sure of my dates) and you could see it collapsing in on itself - in a funny way, that was quite therapeutic. The d&c was booked ofr the Monday.

I tried going in to work during that first week (the Tuesday and Wednesday), but couldn't concentrate and realised I should be looking after myself better. I ended up "working from home" on the Thursday and Friday - intending to log in at intervals, but only did so the once.

I took Monday and Tuesday off and went on the Wednesday (against my boss's advice) - and was a waste of space. Thursday and Friday I was out of the office anyway on "nice" business (corporate hospitality), so it was more a treat/relaxing.

This week I am making myself work short days - trying to leave at 3 (only moderately successfully) and not put myslef under too much pressure. We are very short staffed at the moment and people are off on holiday, so there is a lot to cover. However, I am very conscious that it is most important that I look after myself FIRST.

Like you Bossykate, I feel OK physically, and mentally think that I am coping.... probably....!!!!?? But I know that there is more going on in my head than I want to admit. Hence me trying to be sensible.

Fortunately I have a very supportive boss, who told me off for coming in last Wednsday (but he will probably still be tough with me in my appraisal on Friday - I could do without that!). My colleagues have also been great. I got one good bit of advice from one of them, who went through a miscarriage herself years ago to take things one day at a time. One day you might feel fine and the next (or even the next minute), for no obvious reason, you're in tears.

Hugs to you both. It's a strange and unsettling time.

Bossykate, Bluestar and JanZ big cyber hugs to you all. I wish you all the best in your recovery - if that is the right word.

So sad to read this thread after all the excitement and happiness on other postings - cyber hugs to you all.