hi everyone. long time no speak to a few of you girls...
my mum died very suddenly and unexpectedly in july last year. i've held it together pretty well up until now...its sort of been filed away in a little box which i just can't cope with opening...
added to all that, we were building an extension onto my house and so had builders in my house every day until about october/november, had 3 kids home for the summer hols, working in a very stressful job, sorting out all my mums paperwork, trying to sort out my house, christmas, kids birthdays etc. was assalted in work at the start of the month which has really thrown me...and suffering from bad anxiety too.
anyway. i've controlled it all this time...am taking medication for anxiety which is working well most of the time, but i completely lost it yesterday. had a bit of a barney in work...was picked up on something which to my mind was completely unfair...started crying (because i just can't cope with anymore) and had to come home. had a really good chat with a top psycholgist in work (perk of the job?! )..stayed in bed all day and night, and feel dreadful today. i just can't cope.
i feel as if my pain has just started to surface, and i physically hurt as much as i did in the days after my mum died.
rather than time making things easier, i feel its just longer since i saw my mum and feel desperatly waiting for this nightmare to end...which i know, its not going to.
not really sure why i'm writing here...i guess its good to offload to people who understand.
sorry, and thanks. x
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Bereavement
feel like i'm falling apart 7 months on.....
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chimchar · 25/02/2010 07:11
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