I almost had a row with dh a few hours ago. I've been trying not to post about it, but I've got to get it off my chest. There should be a babble warning smiley on MN, there really should.
[babble warning]
I know I shouldn't make decisions at a time like this and I am not operating on all cylinders, but.
But I had said to myself (and to my best friend) a year ago that once my mum was safely in her grave and wouldn't be discombobulated by it, I would leave dh. But this year dd is in Y6 with SATS, and entrance exams etc so not right now.
And then my bro dies. And dh is almost looking like a rock and looking after dd while I'm away and promising to hire a van to come and get the valuable bulky stuff out of his flat so that I can move around in there and find the papers that will eventually show me how much money he owes so we can decide whether the flat has to be sold or not etc.
So I come home and there's no food in the house; dd has had only take aways for days. DH is on the way home from a 5 hr return trip (which was entirely unnecessary and could've waited) - but bringing food with him so we wait until nearly 10pm before we can eat, so dd gets to bed late so is tired in the morning (in time for her exam) and dh says he's read the letter from the school very carefully and we don't have to leave the house until 8.45, but when dd pulls the letter out in the morning, it says we have to be at the school NO LATER THAN 8.40 (and it's underlined and emboldened). Well, we do get there in time but only because once we get close there are huge long queues of cars all taking their kids in for the exam.
So I keep quiet because it worked out OK and dd is quite enough upset without seeing me and dh getting at each other (which is what it will come to if I say ANYTHING).
So today, I have to organise dd going to stay with a relative this week, while we go down in the van dh was going to hire.
Has he organised it? No.
Then he gets cross with me and somehow it's my fault he hasn't organised it because I haven't told him enough about what's there (I counted everything I could see and described it to him with approx measurement while I was down there, but also said there may be other stuff I can't see and we won't know until the stuff I can see starts coming out to give us space to move other things to see what's behind them etc). At which point I want to cry again, dd looks at me and does cry again and runs out of the room, I put my head in my hands and ask dh to just stop asking me the same questions, but to please just get the van organised and then tell me when we are going, and that I have so many things to worry about right now that can I please not have to worry about this at which point he gets quite cross and makes some sniffy comment and leaves the room.
And then it turns out it doesn't matter what's down there because he's borrowing a van from his mate and that's the van we're getting. And he's been sulking since then (3 hours).
On a happy note, dd and I have had a long cuddle and she's as OK as she can be expected to be.