Dear family and friends

[travellingwilbury]

I have wanted to say this to you in person but I know I can't so I am doing it this way instead .

I need you all to know that just because I am no longer curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor it doesn't mean the pain has gone away , I know I look and act ok most of the time but that doesn't mean I have forgotten . You will not remind me if you mention his name , there is barely an hour goes by that he is not in my thoughts .

I know you all hurt sometimes too and yes it is ok to tell me and talk to me about it . Who better to understand your feelings than me ?

I want to talk about him and like the fact that people remember him , I need you to tell me that you care , your silence is devastating to me , do not change the subject if I have been brave enough to mention him .

You may not be able to handle it and choose to push it to the back of your mind . I don't have that luxury and wouldn't take that choice even if it was offered to me .

He was here , he was my son , your nephew , your grand son , your god son , He was Harry and I give a shit that he seems to have been wiped from your memory .

So please next time you think of him , let me know
Next time you see something that reminds you of him just casually mention it
Every now and then ask me how I am doing and actually listen to the answer .

You have no idea how much it would mean .

You are all good people and are capable of doing this .

Thankyou

So glad that some of you bereaved Mummys came and joined us on our wonderful, special thread. We dont bite!!! We are supportive, angry, proper pissed off fed up, drunk (sometimes), happy - just trying to make our way down the crappy path of life. I love your description of Harry TW. He sounds good enough to eat My boys (who I have lost) will now be 27 and 25 but in my heart and head they are 7 months and 7 years old. They will remain that way forever

I'm sorry I don't know anything about your circumstances with Harry TW, but your other boys must be so kind and thoughtful to have that idea.

It was a lovely way to remember Harry.

Hiya TW,

What a beautiful post, straight from the heart. I let a friend read it last night and she agreed it could have been written by me - says all the stuff i keep going on about. And I hope that some people who read this learn that as well as listening to us that the nicest thing they can do is share the memories they have in normal conversation without thinking that they are going to make us any more upset (how could we be any more upset?)

I've been thinking of writing something similar to some of my family/friends because we were at a family get together recently and my DS2 wasn't even mentioned - I don't want to have to cope with another day like that but am worried that even if i do say something they wouldn't be able to change their way of dealing anyhow.

Was thinking of you on Wed with a few glasses of red!!

Much love to you and yours TW xxxx