i am feeling so low after losing my 13 year old son

[helpmechris74]

i lost my 13 year old son 2yrs 3mths ago in an rta. feeling it very hard to cope. i put on this brave face for everyone but im not coping

[frasersmummy]

helpme I am truly sorry for your loss...

My little boy was stillborn 5 years ago so I understand the pain of losing your child... its a pain that never leaves you

There are days when I feel I dont cope either. The best advice I have is to take time to aknoweldge your grief and keep talking about it. If you bottle it up you will explode.

There are loads of lovely mums on here who can lend some great support..

[Judy1234]

How awful for you. My babysister died in about 1968. My mother until her death always remembered. We were so pleased to get a mentino of her in my father's funeral address and we've put her name with ours on his grave stone. But you're right - no one ever forgets. I can't imagine how awful it would be if one of my five children died.
Poor you.

[shabster]

I am so sorry for your loss....so very sorry. My son was killed in 1992 aged 7 years in an horrific rta.

Please follow the link that Sycamore gave you and come and talk on a very special thread. Just a group of bereaved mums with different experiences who all help each other.

My heart goes out to you - I also pretend I am ok but very often I'm not xxxx

[helpmechris74]

hi shabster

thankyou, for your kind words, if you need to talk just give me a shout

[QOD]

(((((hugs)))))

[Tortington]

sorry for your loss, i am certain that you will find support from shabster and the others on the bereaved thread.

xxxx

[travellingwilbury]

Hi there , another bereaved mum here , I know that for me and many others I have spoken to that the 2nd and third years are maybe the hardest to get through . That early numbness is beginning to wear off and everyone around us thinks we are back to "normal" . Whatever that is .

I would love to hear more about your son if you want to talk about him . Come and say hi on our thread , there is always someone to talk to and even the maddest thoughts you have had / are having someone else will know just what you are talking about .

Take care and be kind to yourself .

[helpmechris74]

thankyou travellingwilbury, i am finding it so much harder this year was his 16th birthday, he was 13 when he died, he was getting the bus home from being out with friends, we had only started letting him his use the bus and he thought the a flexi bus was turning into the bus station and it didnt it went straight on gareth tried to turn back and slipped any fell, was awful, words cant describe how we all feel but as u say everyone thinks you should just be getting on with it, and because you are actually out taking your kids to school that means everything is back to normal.

[maggie61]

Sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time . My ds was hit by a car whilst we were crossing the road together I did not have hold of him, he was 2years 10 months, he should of stopped on the traffic island and waited. thats nearly 8 years ago.
Life goes on, I find it difficult to remember much about him now ,apart from the accident, and i try to shut that memory off, although i still relive as i am still trying to understand how it happened. As with your ds those few seconds and then complete devastion.
You will find your way through this , I never would of believed that , but 8 years on i do, although it has only been the last year or so that i can say i feel i am over it, in that demented griefstruck way, i am a different person now, i do feel that a certain glow has dimmed within me, but i can accept myself as i am, sorry i am waffling.
I do agree 2/3 years and i am afraid is still early days when you lose a child, take good care,xxxx

[shabster]

Oh my love....your poor little lad....I know that 'I'm fine thanks' time when everybody thinks you should be over it - whatever the hell 'over it' means.

I have put this poem on the bereaved mums thread but I think it speaks a million words

MY MUM IS A SURVIVOR.

My Mum is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away
I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise
But through heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.

My surviving mum tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive
As I watch over my surviving mum....through heavens open door
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden that she bears.
So if you get the chance, go visit her...and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says, no matter what she feels,
My surviving mum has a broken heart that time wont ever heal.

[lottiejenkins]

Hi HMC............I posted this beautiful song on our bereaved mums thread, i thought i'd post it on here for Gareth too...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2GDG1sNHJE&feature=PlayList&p=DBA37AAEE84280CE&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL& index=2

also this poem...............

Gone Too Soon
**
This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..

Mary Yarnell

[helpmechris74]

oh my goodness that is just says it all thank you both so much, it helps to talk to other people and just for a while to not put on my brave face thank u

[Notquitegrownup]

HMC I am so sorry to hear about your devestating loss.

I just wanted to post the link again to the thread on which other bereaved mums meet. All you have to do is click on the words in blue here link to other bereaved mums and you will find a small and very special group of mums who understand how you are feeling.

Thinking of you.

[bellavita]

I am sorry about your son, I have two sons and life would be unbearable without them. xx