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Original poster

Mother's Day is coming - anyone up for a bit of mutual support

38 replies

dizzydixies · 11/03/2009 20:08

my mum passed away after a long illness in July last year, I had to bury her and then have DD3 two days later I've generally been ok as she was SO ill but it seemed in that final stretch before going into hospital and hospice for the last time that she was on great form - maybe she knew.

I am beginning to feel it now walking into every shop and having mother's day shoved in my face. I wasn't going to be on my own on mother's day as DH was on days off but he's been recalled to work and cannot get out of it I KNOW I'll be with my girls but I was just looking for that support from DH, even if it hadn't occurred to him that I might need a bit extra effort from him this year, at least he would have been there. DD1 will know what mother's day is as she is 5 but I don't think she'll understand if I'm a bit sad. DD2 is only 2 so it won't be any different to any other day for her and DD3 is only 32wks so not even an issue.

I really feel like just ignoring it completely even if being a mum is my best role in life

so, anyone want to join me in some mutual support?

OP posts:
Rosa · 11/03/2009 20:28

I am so sorry for you - if its a nice day can you not maybe go for a walk with your 3 dds - just try to walk off a bit of your sadness - Fresh air works for me !!!
I am sure you mum is watching down on you and very proud of you bringing up her grandchildren.
It must be hard having it all ' in your face' and round every corner I guess dd1 will bring something back from school / nursery as well.
Hope it goes ok .
My 1st mothers day - dh forgot despite being reminded ( dd was 6 weeks old) and he came home late with chocolates which I hated and he ate them !

Original poster
dizzydixies · 11/03/2009 20:33

lol, we don't have a great track record for mothers day here either. for my first one DH was on a pissup rugby tour in Barcelona and the night before he went suddenly jumped up out the door and nipped to tesco to buy a random DVD and box of chocs which he wrapped in the tesco bag in the fuse cupboard and left for me to get - the DVD was some pap and he ate the chocs as I was so ill

had hoped for it to get a bit better as the years went on!!

OP posts:
Rosa · 11/03/2009 20:53

he was on pain of divorce if he forgot the next one - I did get flowers . BUt for fathers day dd did a sticky mess collage for him which he loved .... SO I am hoping that the message has sunk in. He did manage to get a card scribbled for my birthday( he diddn't manage to buy one he just used a blank one I had in the house ) it has been on my bedside table since mid feb and dd1 comments on it as mummys happy card . I am in Italy so mothers day is later here we have fathers day in March and I am already working on something - in the hope that he gets the hint !
Tescos bag love it ....who says Romance is dead

Original poster
dizzydixies · 11/03/2009 20:54

romance and my DH are not friends am afraid, he's bloody lucky I love him so much

very of you being in Italy, we honeymooned in Rome and would love to go back

OP posts:
Rosa · 11/03/2009 21:15

It has its good and bad sides. living here. Romance here ( I live in what is supposed to be the most romantic city in the world but it missed my dh ! ) I get 1 bunch of flowers on Valentines ..if lucky - this year he said did I want to go and choose them !!!! it covers Valentines, birthday and wedding anniversary.
Off to bed now as baby will need feeding and I want to be ready to sleep as soon as she is finished. Nice chatting and if you want some moral support again cat me or pop into Little Italy as am always on there !!

Original poster
dizzydixies · 11/03/2009 21:20

thank you

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Original poster
dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 22:29

.

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2shoes · 13/03/2009 22:35

dizzydixies sorry for your loss.
My mum died 30yrs ago this year. But i think I will feel it more this year as my SM died in september and my darling dad a month ago.
(wow talk about woe it is me!!)
I plan to have mothers day for me this year(going to mil on the saturday) so It will be my day iynwim.
try to concentrate on making memories for your dc's
oh and

Original poster
dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 22:39

2shoes, I knew about your dad but not your mum or smum am so sorry too.

I was trying to do that as well but DH's horrid work have recalled him for duty and he can't get out of it either, shall just have to make sure the girls and I have a good day too

OP posts:
2shoes · 13/03/2009 22:40

Oh I think that calls for a pj day, and loads of bad food

Original poster
dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 22:41

no different from any other Sunday here really

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LilRedWG · 13/03/2009 22:46

I'm dreading it too. I have told DH that I won't be visiting his Mum on that day. I think he gets it. I don't mind him going but I'm not.

I've also told him that he'll need to buy the card for his Mum this year (I always bought for both) as I have no intentions of going near a card shop for the forseeable future.

Don't particularly want to celebrate it for me either - I'd actually like the day to pass me by. May talk to DH about this. DD is only 2.10 so won't know any different really.

Original poster
dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 22:48

I've done the card buying already Red but managed to send MIL a present from amazon so didn't have to deal with that part of it. If you want ot just pass it by thats ok. your DD isn't missing anything as she won't notice, DD2 is the same age as your DD and she hasn't a clue, I'll have to do something as DD1 is 5.9 and will know all about it

OP posts:
2shoes · 13/03/2009 22:49

LilRedWG that is why we visit mil on the saturday(apart from the fact I can't stand the competive what I got that sil does)

2shoes · 13/03/2009 22:53

LilRedWG have you heard dance with my father by luther vandross?

LilRedWG · 13/03/2009 22:56

Oh yes 2shoes, oh yes.

2shoes · 13/03/2009 23:01

beautiful

Original poster
dizzydixies · 13/03/2009 23:09

one of my sympathy cards had a lovely poem in it which brought me some comfort, I think I'll look it out and post it tomorrow as it was for all lost mum's not mine specifically

for tonight though am off to bed

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LilRedWG · 14/03/2009 18:30

Spoke to DH. He is fine with visiting his Mum without me. He is also fine with ignoring Mothering Sunday for me this year. We will hide in the house, just the three of us, for the day. I do love that man.

Original poster
dizzydixies · 15/03/2009 21:34

oh thats great, I was going to try to ignore it but DD1 is on it already - when do you head off?

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2shoes · 19/03/2009 21:46

Hi Ladies
I did my normal thing today and got a bunch of daffs, I do that every year for me/for my mum, as luck would have it I got a nother one free so have one for sm as well

mulranno · 20/03/2009 14:32

Mother Day has been stressing me out for months...see it same as getting thru the first Christmas...will go to ireland to visit my mums grave with my sisters....but only realised today that we shouldnt try and have lunch out unless we want to sit amongst the balloons and celebraters!..feel like crying now and crying right thru till sunday night...and then we will weep again as we gte the plane back on monday morning as we leave her again.

Original poster
dizzydixies · 20/03/2009 18:11

oh no mulranno, why not try to all remember your mum together rather than be so sad? its hard I understand but I'm quite sure she wouldn't want you to be so upset

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2shoes · 21/03/2009 21:45

love to you all for tommorow, hope you manage to have some happy time and sweet memories

Original poster
dizzydixies · 21/03/2009 22:47

thank you 2shoes - have found myself a bit surprisingly emotional the last few days

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