my friends just died

[canella]

my friend went to bed last night and her husband went to bed later and found she wasnt breathing - they tried evferything and she just didnt wake up. she's been my friend for 11 years - she was only 36 - we've worked together all that time and our older kids are just about the same age (6 & 3 1/2)- i just feel like its some really bad dream but i'm not waking up. She was at work on friday absolutely fine but now she's dead - its semms so unreal. i feel so sad that she's died but i'm so upset that those beautiful kids dont have their mummy any more - she loved those kids and they'll never remember her when they're older. i'm home alone with my kids today and feel so sad - just wanted to write it all down somewhere.

Oh, how sad I am so sorry

I am so sorry !

big hug for you Canella.

I am so sorry for you and your friends family.

My friend passed away at 40 leaving her 5 yr old son, and it breaks my heart to think he won't remember her.

Be gentle on yourself, you are grieving. x

I'm so sorry

Oh Poor you. Im so sorry. Can you Dh not stay with you today? Lots of hugs for you xx

Golly, how terrible

Do they know what happened, or why she died?

I am so sorry, you must be in bits xx

So sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry to hear this. What a dreadful shock. Those poor children. I know you probably can't think straight just now but there is something you can do for them a bit later when you're feeling stronger. DH died a few weeks ago and our DSs are just 4 and 5. I worry that they won't remember him so I asked all our friends to write down memories of him which I'm putting together in a book with photos. At least they'll have something to look back on. It might help you to do something similar for those poor children.

How sad, sorry for you loss.

That's really sad. I'm so sorry.

That's awful, I'm so sorry.

Oh gosh, how devistating for you and her family Canella.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry it must have come as a terrible shock.
My friend also died age 36 leaving behind 3 small children .
Six years on and I can still cry about everything she has missed out on.
Its awful when there is no rhyme nor reason and it seems such a waste.

Sorry for your loss. It is so sad for her family.

How terrible for you and for her family.
So sorry. It is such a complete shock.

I am so sorry.

So sorry for you and all her family and friends.
You are in shock, you cannot process this straight away. Take things easy and one step at a time.

for you. xx

thank you so so much for all your posts - i wrote a huge post while lunch was cooking but the internet crashed - not what i need today!
muumydolt - i'm so sorry to hear about your loss but writing down memories seems a great way to honour what a great mum she was & i'm sure you're kids will always know what a great dad they had.
seems so unreal to be writing this about her - wish it was a bad dream that i'm going to wake up from & that i'll go to work tom and she'll be there.
just feel bad that we hadnt seen each other out of work in recent months - time seems to run away and because we saw each other 3 days a week we kind of forgot to make plans to get all the kids together - we used to get together on a monday and drink copious tea while the kids ran riot - i'll really miss those mondays! i feel even worse that i'd not seen her DH in about a year - he was obviously at work on those mondays!! - really dont think its the thing to do to phone him today but feel really bad that i've not phoned - i'm sure there is no right and wrong thing to do - might go and buy a card and write it today!
thanks again for all your kind thoughts

Canella, definitely send him a card. It really helps looking through the cards and knowing people are thinking of you. If you want to do something for the husband, I found it very helpful when people offered to have my kids over to play for an hour or so. A good friend came over with a meal she'd cooked one night which was very much appreciated and a group of friends clubbed together to get me vouchers for Wiltshire Farm Foods (frozen ready meals to stock up my freezer). Even the smallest of gestures mean a lot. One mum from school brought round some chocolate for the boys and another mum bought them some story books written to help children cope with death. Even a simple phone call helps. No-one ever knows what to say but it's better to just say 'I'm so sorry' rather than not saying anything at all.

Have you got someone you can talk to? Is there someone looking after you? Take care of yourself, won't you?

that is so sad I'm so sorry canella xxx

oh, so sad

So sorry to hear about your loss {{{hugs}}}