oh god.my nans died

[CvQ]

shit

oh sorry CVQ. That's rough. Had you had much contact with her?

It is a hard thing to take in.

Sorry for your loss, CVQ.
Had your Nan been poorly?

oh no. when did you get the call?

not seen her in a long time.what a waste
iv never had anyone die
its dads mum

Will your mum be headng back sooner than you both thought?

So sorry for yor loss CvQ.

I'm so sorry to hear that cvq. I hope you manage some rest tonight and can face it better in the morning.

mum had a call not long ago.mums sketchy about details but it sounds like her asthma made her heart give out.she was 87

i dont knw how im supposed to feel.i should be crying shouldnt i.but im just not knowing how i should feel

Of course cvq. You can't cry on cue!

You might feel a bit numb, and a bit unsure.

Hard and sad news takes a while to sink in.

That is ok.

If it makes you feel more connected why don't you write about your nan?

There are all sorts of people here who would like to know about what kind of person she was. What did she look like? What did she like to do? What do you remember about her?

Thinking about her, might bring some of your feelings out, but that's okay too.

you know 'not feeling' is okay as well.

You may not have been that close in which case then being generally sad but not devestated is understandable.

I'm just saying don't judge yourself for your feelings at this point [smle]

slur i dont know anyone thas died before.this is weird.ive typed and retyped but its all a 'was' and i cant type it

so don't. just yet.

It takes time.

talk about her if you wnat in any presence, past or present.

Or not, just sleep and see how it is in te morning.

yeah.ill try and sleep.this is just too weird
thanks

sorry for being weird. Yes sleep. It is a strange happening.

It wil be differnt (a bit) in the morning.

Good night.

hello cvq. I hope you managed som rest last night- again, you and your family are in our thoughts today. The first couple of days are often confusing.

(((((((CVQ)))))))))

i still cant cry.maybe im just heartless.
mums going back later today and im more upset abou that

i remember when my gran died
i was 19 and very close to her
saw her every day
i didnt cry when she died
even though up til her last few minutes she was asking where i was (stuck in traffic, im so sorry gran)
i still didnt cry
until the funeral when it hit me

you have my sympathies, will be thinking of you today, dont analyse your feelings or actions, cry if you want to but if you dont thats still 'normal'
i still miss my gran very much
best wishes x

thanks nailpolish.its just weird.surely i should be upset but theres just nothing.even seeing mum upset hasnt made me cry.

Oh CvQ - I am sorry. Not crying doesn't mean you are not feeling. And you have been through so much maybe your sub-concious is not letting this through just yet.

i remember that numb feeling

its perfectly normal
please dont worry

CvQ, it's ok - there are lots of possible reasons you aren't feeling the need to cry - there's nothing wrong with any of them.

Perhaps you are in a bit of shock and it hasn't sunk in yet (like nailpolish); maybe your meds are numbing your reactions so it hasn't impacted yet; if you haven't seen her for a long time then not seeing her again isn't going to impact hugely on you anyway (sorry if that sounds callous but it is true and doesn't make you hard-hearted).

Will you go to the funeral? That will make it more real for you.

There are no "shoulds" in bereavement - everyone reacts differently and individually. So whatever you are doing, so long as it isn't complete denial, is ok.
(((((((hugs))))))))