oh god.my nans died

[CvQ]

shit

i wont be able to go to the funeral for personal reasons
she never even saw j

OMG Hon, just seen this,
so sorry for your loss.

All my grandparents have died in my lifetime - it is normal for you to feel numb about it. You will be fine once your Mum has gone..
[hugs]]]

numb is way way we are often protected from reality, it's ok and "normal" sometimes it takes something concrete for things to sink in and often the seemingly little things that make the tears flow, seeing your mum and dad upset or visting the house for example, please don't beat yourself up about not crying, the tear will come.
sending you a (((hug)))

thanks.still no tears for her

numb is normal. you will grieve for her, in your own time and in your own way when you are ready.