is it just me or is it the little things?

[dizzydixies]

my mum finally lost her battle to cancer 6wks ago, a week before dd3 was born

she had been ill for 6yrs and it was a release for her to go, doesn't stop me being selfish and missing her though

now, am doing ok, the new baby and my other two girls are keeping me busy but its the really little things that get me

for example

why am I so reluctant to take her mobile number off my phone or remove her as a contact on my MSN messanger when seeing her details there upsets me?

am being daft now

dad has now put up mum's headstone and he's made such a lovely choice. my brother and I had input into it but ultimately it was his decision. I'll try to go home and see it at some point soon

my dad, brother, SIL and nephew all came up at the weekend and it was strange everyone being here without her - very odd

SIL, who is a bit of a cold fish, bless her was really upset when she and I were having a chat and somehow I felt as if I had to be the one supporting her through the loss of my mother rather than the other way round - I don't mind as such, am just wondering if its going to hit me at some point

dd3 who was born only a few days after mum passed is keeping me so busy and distracted I'm almost frightened to get into a routine incase I get time to 'think'