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Bereavement

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Original poster

*****TW**** Suicide. My husband is gone.

48 replies

Ole34 · 02/07/2026 22:11

My husband killed himself today. Leaving behind me and our 4 year old little girl. I have absolutely no idea what to do. He was my best friend and I thought we were going to grow old together, the best husband and daddy. I can’t even imagine a world without him. He did it while I was away visiting family. I wasn’t even there, I feel so guilty. How am I supposed to get through this??

OP posts:
LaProf · 02/07/2026 22:13

I'm so sorry. Do you have supportive people around you?

Maddy70 · 02/07/2026 22:16

I honestly have no words of anything useful to say. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please don't think you're alone.mumsnet has its crap side but it is super supportive when it needs to be and right now you need it. You will go through a range of emotions, all of which are perfectly normal please feel free to vent here whatever you're feeling at any time. This is a shit storm, accept all help. Sending a very unmumsnetty hug

StasisMom · 02/07/2026 22:19

I’m very sorry - that must have been an awful shock. Please don’t feel guilty, it’s unlikely you’d have been able to predict this. And I don’t know how you get through it, just one foot in front of the other. 💐

Justmadesourkraut · 02/07/2026 22:19

Oh my goodness. What an absolutely horrific shock for you and how very, very sad for you all. I am so sorry for your loss.

You will get through this, for your lovely little girl, but it will take time. Until then, you focus on one minute at a time, one thing at a time. As the pp says, draw on any support around you, and be gentle on yourself. Don't try to sort anything yet. Just take it one step at a time. And keep posting here. There are others on Mnet who have survived this too, who will be able to walk alongside you for a while . . .

Myfridgeiscool · 02/07/2026 22:22

Is someone there with you and your DD? Where are you?
If you’re not with anyone please go to or contact a friend right now.
You will both be ok, the road ahead may be a bit bumpy for a while but you will be ok.

From experience: there is always someone on here to hold your hand, whatever time it is.

It’s a huge shock, sending enormous unmumsnetty hugs to you and DD.

Mischance · 02/07/2026 22:24

Please be reassured that someone who has made this decision makes quite sure that no-one knows. There is nothing you could have done; there really isn't.
I am so sorry this has happened and send love to you.

ChaToilLeam · 02/07/2026 22:25

I am so sorry, love. Please don't blame yourself.

PinkNailPolish2026 · 02/07/2026 22:26

I’m so sorry.

My brother chose to leave this world on his terms (this is the way I’ve learned to deal with it all) and he did it in similar circumstances when everyone was out. I have no words that’ll make you feel any better at the moment but what I can say is you’ll slowly get through this day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Sending you and your daughter much love 💕

Waitingfordoggo · 02/07/2026 22:27

I’m so very sorry. This is an unimaginable, utterly devastating shock.

This happened to our friends two years ago. Our friend ended his life, leaving behind his wife and two teenage children. It was awful. Still is awful. But they are doing so well. They have found ways to face each day, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other; and you will too, in time. I feel strongly that you need real life support around you right now to help you navigate these first few hours, days and weeks. 💐

Brunchatstephanies · 02/07/2026 22:29

I’m so sorry for your loss @Ole34 I can’t imagine what you are going through at the moment but it is very likely you could not have done anything to change this situation. If you need to express what you are going through please use this thread. 💐💐

ScribblerIran · 02/07/2026 22:41

I’m so sorry this has happened- it’s a huge loss but as others have said, you are not alone. My husband nearly died by suicide when our children were very young (sadly he then died when they were teenagers). When you feel like it, Winston’s Wish is a charity for bereaved children and very helpful. But do look after yourself as well because you need to be strong to get through this and will need support from others. Ten years on, it does get better- we talk about him a lot and went for a swim together yesterday on the day he died and then sat in the sun. There will be very hard times but you will recover. I’m so sorry though.

NewLifter · 02/07/2026 22:43

I'm so so sorry op, what a shock for you. Obviously there's seriously hard times ahead but you and your little one will get through this. Please keep using this thread for anything you need it to be.

Specialneedsnightmare · 02/07/2026 22:44

I'm so sorry. I have no words or any experience to draw on, but my heart really goes out to you and your daughter at this horrific time ❤️

AgentPidge · 02/07/2026 22:47

I'm so sorry for the pain that you and your DD are going through. Best wishes to you both xx

Minasama · 02/07/2026 22:50

I am so very sorry. Sending you lots of love and strength.
I know it won’t help me saying this, but there is really, truly, nothing you could have done.
This happened to a friend of ours and her two children two years ago. It has not been easy but they are over the worst and doing well again.
I want to offer a little bit of reassurance about your little girl, as I’m sure your sadness is compounded by the worry of how this might affect her. I hope it is not too early to say this. My mum’s dad died suddenly when she was 4. She has had a very happy life, is well balanced and doesn’t really remember him. Young children really do seem to adapt and move on.
Hang in there OP, we are all thinking of you xxx

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/07/2026 22:51

I’m sorry you are in this position. My dh did the same 15yrs ago when we we were both 37

i was away for the night and Arrived home the next day to find him at ours

way - widowed and young and sobs - survivors bereaved by suicide are groups that can support you

Winston’s wish is especially for children

I am sorry for your loss and I hope you have friends and family supporting you 💐💐

Wallabyone · 02/07/2026 22:53

I’m so, so sorry 😢

Raccoonsmacaroons · 02/07/2026 23:08

Oh darling, I am so sorry.
Do you have anyone with you?

Original poster
Ole34 · 03/07/2026 06:17

We are both with family. 200 miles away from home. What am I even supposed to do without him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ole34 · 03/07/2026 06:19

I feel so much guilt cause he asked me to come home and I selfishly promised I’d be home on Saturday instead of just going home straight away.

OP posts:
Myfridgeiscool · 03/07/2026 07:33

You’re not responsible for his actions @Ole34. You have not been selfish, do not feel guilty.

Good to hear you are with family. Be kind to yourself today.

Brunchatstephanies · 03/07/2026 07:41

Ole34 · 03/07/2026 06:19

I feel so much guilt cause he asked me to come home and I selfishly promised I’d be home on Saturday instead of just going home straight away.

Edited

I think feeling guilty is so normal in this situation but it is not ever possible for anyone else to fix another person on the inside, there wasn’t anything you could do. Clearly you love him that was what you could do and you did that.

It is just so sad.

Lentilcakes · 03/07/2026 07:42

I’m so sorry, I hope you can get the support that you and your daughter need.

Feelblue · 03/07/2026 07:44

((Ole34))

SupernaturalAddict · 03/07/2026 07:49

I'm so sorry for your loss, glad you are with family. You cleatly loved him, please don't feel guilty.