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Original poster

prem labour baby died at 22 weeks.very sad

32 replies

mummylight · 22/06/2008 21:12

I was wondering if anyone has been through what i have. i went into early labour apparently due to a viral infection, after 48 hour labour gave birth under a general as they suspected scar rupture. Henry was dead when delivered but was moving fine until i started pushing! he was one pound and 29 cm long, there was nothing wrong with my baby boy he was perfect in every way, i have two other children all by c-section, the last being my little girl evie only 2 years ago. We had him buried, and i feel completely empty and lost. I dont think i will ever smile again, i miss him like crazy kicking around my tummy!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 22/06/2008 21:13

i'm so sorry for your loss, mummylight.

i've not experienced this, but my aunt lost her first, a wee girl, at 26 weeks due to listeria (this was back in the 70s when babies born this young had no real chance of long-term survival).

Hulababy · 22/06/2008 21:15

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your baby Henry.

I don't have experience of this, but hope someone will be around soon to give your more advice.

DutchOma · 22/06/2008 21:16

Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry. Nothing anybody can say will make things better for you but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

constancereader · 22/06/2008 21:16

I am so sorry to hear this.

TheRealMrsOsborne · 22/06/2008 21:17

Mummylight i just wanted to say sorry for your loss .
My SIL had IVF and gave birth to two sets of twins - the 1st set at 23wks and the second set at 18wks. The babies were perfect and alive and kicking up until they were born. I went to see them and held them in my arms and they were so perfect.

They had them both buried and are absolutely devasted by it, God knows how they feel and how they carry on but they do.

Much love to you and your family x

sleepycat · 22/06/2008 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

me23 · 22/06/2008 21:18

I'm so sorry for your loss

charliegal · 22/06/2008 21:18

so sorry to hear about your loss of your baby boy.

ajandjjmum · 22/06/2008 21:19

So sorry that Henry couldn't stay. x

tribpot · 22/06/2008 21:20

So very sad for your loss of lovely Henry, and thinking of you all.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 22/06/2008 21:20

so sorry mummylight

I lost a little girl philippa, 3 years ago. She was stillborn at 25 weeks. Everything was fine and then she stopped moving. A scan confirmed the worse and a post mortem revealed there was nothing wrong with her.

Its the hardest thing ever to loose a child. You feel so empty and I used to wish that I could be instantly pregnant again.I too has a little girl already but she was 15 months old. I was so grateful I had her to come home to.

It took me two years to get pregnant again and I had a little boy, Joe in Dec.

I feel so blessed but I always wonder what could have been and wish I had Philippa too

So very very sorry

xx

babytime · 22/06/2008 21:22

I am so sorry to hear you lost your little boy

I think I can imagine a bit of what you feel and that hurts too much to imagine.

I have no words to give that would make you feel better but I will say a prayer for your little angel boy.

I hope you have lots of love and support around you right now and that your children are giving you promises of hope and smiles for the future.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

keevamum · 22/06/2008 21:22

I am so sorry for you, don't know what to say have never been through this, but didn't want to ignore your post. Have had 2 m/cs but both before 12 weeks so they can't compare to this. However, it took me a long time to smile again too. Have you spoken to your G.P.? Counselling would be good, I think and talking to your partner a lot, try not to shut him out but I know it's difficult because he probably hadn't bonded as much as you as the baby has been developing inside you but you can be a great support to each other. Did the hospital give you any practical support? Contacts of associations etcetera? Grief counsellors? Talk on here as often as you need there are some really helpful support threads for people who have lost children. So sorry for your loss.

lilolilmanchester · 22/06/2008 21:25

Sorry, I haven't been through this, Have had a MC but not on the same scale and know there is nothing I can say to make things any better. Just wanted you to know how sorry I am and that I will watch out for your posts and help if I can. Take care.

IfYouCanKeepYourHead · 22/06/2008 21:28

I lost my daughter Freya in very similar circumstances in July 2005. I knew somnething wasn't quite right - had been experiencing pains like period pans - hospital patted me on the head and gave me some indigestion drugs. I went back 5 days later and my cervix was bulging - they could see her little foot pushing through when they did an internal (sorry if TMI). They tried stitching me, gave me hundreds of antibiotics under suspicion of infection and after 8 days of lieing on an inverted bed (using gravity to literally keep her in) my waters broke. They insited that she had died already as movements had stopped, unstitched me and let nature take its course. I delivered her naturally 9 hours later, the midwife cleaned her up and measured her, I could see her moving and then I held her as she took her last tiny breath. I was 22 + 6. I honestly believe that a more specialist hospital could have, would have done more.
We buried her and I now tend her garden as often as I can. I have an 8yo son and I now have a 2yo daughter. We decided after a year to try again. I know its a cliche but it does get easier. My son often talks of her - she has a memory box just like the other 2. My daughter comes with me to her garden and I talk about her sister. She really was so perfect - just like them. I read a lot of books that helped a little and we only started trying once we both felt we were strong enough to deal with it happening again. The books went away then. We both went to grief counselling together for 18 months afterwards.
I am so very sorry for your loss, all of you. All I can say is cling on to each other - you will get through this terrible time.
I haven't forgiven the hospital and I don't know if I ever will - I know that I should though.

Swedes · 22/06/2008 21:35

Mummylight. I lost a very premature son a few years back. He lived for a short while. We had a post mortem and there was nothing wrong. It is truly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. BUT I have got past the gloom. And you will get past the gloom too. Sending you lots of love.

If you want to CAT me, please do.

blueshoes · 22/06/2008 21:40

mummylight, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved son Henry. All my love to you and your family.

lackaDAISYcal · 22/06/2008 21:43

I'm so so sorry for your loss

2shoes · 22/06/2008 21:44

so sorry for your loss

Tutter · 22/06/2008 21:48

i am so sorry x

cornsilk · 22/06/2008 21:49

very sorry mummylight

umberella · 22/06/2008 21:49

I am so sorry, The same thing happened to friends of mine a year ago, at 23 weeks.

So sorry to you all.

LittleMyDancing · 22/06/2008 21:49

So sorry Mummylight - we lost our second child at 20 weeks back in February and I remember that empty feeling so well.

It will get better, you have to hold on to that thought, but let yourself grieve, be gentle on yourself and don't expect too much too soon.

I found cuddling my DS helped a lot.

You'll be in our thoughts.

xx

colacubes · 22/06/2008 21:51

mummylight, I am so so sorry you lost your boy, I cant imagine your loss, God Bless, and my prayers and love to you and all your family

ontheup · 22/06/2008 21:52

all my love, so very sorry

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