prem labour baby died at 22 weeks.very sad

[mummylight]

I was wondering if anyone has been through what i have. i went into early labour apparently due to a viral infection, after 48 hour labour gave birth under a general as they suspected scar rupture. Henry was dead when delivered but was moving fine until i started pushing! he was one pound and 29 cm long, there was nothing wrong with my baby boy he was perfect in every way, i have two other children all by c-section, the last being my little girl evie only 2 years ago. We had him buried, and i feel completely empty and lost. I dont think i will ever smile again, i miss him like crazy kicking around my tummy!

Thank you all for your kind words of comfort- IfyoucankeepyourHead, i am also am so sorry for your loss, I am very intested in what you have to say as it does seem you experienced something simular to myself.I also go to henrys grave everyday it makes me feel happy to do this! and have a memory box that i too let my children look at. The hospital said to me that they couldnt give me anything to stop labour, pumped me with antibiotics and morphine for the pain! and said they wouldnt resussitate him as they cannot do this before 24 weeks!!BUT there have been babies that have survived without problems born weighing much less than henry. They were disputing the fact that i coul of been 23-24 weeks gestation, as he was a good size!! I too feel anger towards the hospital now!!

I'm so sorry. Can't begin to imagine what you are going through.

It is literally a matter of days as to whether less specialist hospitals will do anything and personally I think thats just plain wrong. If you look like you may have a problem circa 20 weeks - then you should be immediately referred to a hospital with a NICU - if they only support a SCBU it stands to reason that the consultants / midwives will only know how to deal with 24 weeks + - and then at a push. My son was born at 26 weeks at that hospital and immediately taken 40 miles to the next county while I waited 36 hours to be taken there to see him. Needless to say, with my 2nd daughter we went straight to the hospital with NICU - even before conception I was under a consultant there.
But what can you say at the time? When my 2nd daughter was born DH and I from the start adjusted the weeks - I always said that I was 1 week further on, luckily I have big babies (for their gestation) and so it wasn't questioned - they just thought she was a little small. I'm certainly not advising this - but it just made me feel more secure - they probably knew all along and just humoured me!
I do now feel honoured to have had her - a colleague of mine at the time said the perfect thing while all my close friends didn't know what to say. She asked to hear all about her and so the whole thing came out. Afterwards she said. "You gave her such a wonderful life, she was so close to her mum's heart the whole time, she must have felt so safe" I often remember that and remember that though it was so hard it was so natural and those precious moments of her life will never go away. It's the same for Henry, you did the very best for him.

I'm so so very sorry for your loss mummylight. Your post broke my heart. my story isn't similar but I lost my little girl in July of 07. She was 23 days old. She was a preemie born june 14. You are in my thoughts and prayers

mummylight, I am so sorry for your loss. x

I'm just so very sorry. My son is called Henry too. I hope you find the support you need, unfortunately lots of people on here have had sad experiences .

Marina always recommends SANDS - have you been in touch with them at all? Another friend who sadly lost a premature baby also said they were a lifesver. The memory box sounds lovely