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Original poster

I cannot stop crying

37 replies

Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 18:21

6 weeks bereaved and I cannot stop crying. Every minute of the day that I am not actively crying I am on the verge of tears. I am sobbing daily, anything sets me off. I miss my mother so much. I am in disbelief that she has gone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 21:51

PurpleCyclamen · 23/01/2026 21:46

I’m so sorry OP. I was much the same when my dad died. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat and I had physical reactions like a tight throat that made me cough and cough until I vomited. I also got rages. All sorts if reactions.
6 weeks is nothing. Let yourself cry. Get help from bereavement counsellors or, if you are religious, your church. I did a bereavement course at my local church which was very helpful.

After a year things started to ease a tiny bit. 5 years down the line I can now think of my dad in a more nostalgic way rather than just with pain at his loss.

Sleep has been hard. Ive been up until 3am but have forced myself to go back to my old routine for the sake of being able to go back to work. I have a Fitbit, my HR is much higher than usual so I can see the physical impact this is having on me. I've lost a stone, and am going to engage with bereavement counsellors this week as I am struggling. Ive been to church and it helps. They have a bereavement group but I cannot attend it as it is during the day.

OP posts:
PurpleCyclamen · 23/01/2026 21:54

This post from a Reddit page (it’s well worth following the link to the original Reddit page) was handed out at the church bereavement course. I have found it to be a good description of bereavement. It’s like a poem.

thelossfoundation.org/grief-comes-in-waves/

PurpleCyclamen · 23/01/2026 22:00

Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 21:51

Sleep has been hard. Ive been up until 3am but have forced myself to go back to my old routine for the sake of being able to go back to work. I have a Fitbit, my HR is much higher than usual so I can see the physical impact this is having on me. I've lost a stone, and am going to engage with bereavement counsellors this week as I am struggling. Ive been to church and it helps. They have a bereavement group but I cannot attend it as it is during the day.

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Night times are the worst. I found it helped to prepare: before I went to bed I would get out 2 blankets, my iPad and a book; I would leave them on the settee.
If I was feeling distressed I found it much better not to lie there crying. I would get up and go downstairs; wrap one blanket round my shoulders like a hug and one across my legs to keep me warm. I would either read, do puzzles or Mumsnet on the iPad or watch relaxing videos on YouTube.

Original poster
Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 22:02

simpsonthecat · 23/01/2026 21:48

I am so sorry for you. Your grief is so real.
I was not ever so close to my mum but I nursed her through a horrendous cancer and even I can understand. For a long time afterwards I would go to pick the phone up to speak to her and that lasted for a very long time.
So,.for you, being so close, it must be so so hard.

I'm old, 70s, and all I would wish for my daughters is to live their life, be happy, laugh about memories of me (and there will be lots, we are very very close, a day doesn't go by when we are not whatsapping about nonsense! Today I've been in stitches about something one said to me!)
I am sure your mum would want you to just revel in the memories and not be too sad
I am so sorry if I have said the wrong thing.
I hope it slowly gets better, grief has no time schedule, good days and bad days, I hope the good days get more

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You have not said anything wrong, thank you for your reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 22:04

PurpleCyclamen · 23/01/2026 22:00

Night times are the worst. I found it helped to prepare: before I went to bed I would get out 2 blankets, my iPad and a book; I would leave them on the settee.
If I was feeling distressed I found it much better not to lie there crying. I would get up and go downstairs; wrap one blanket round my shoulders like a hug and one across my legs to keep me warm. I would either read, do puzzles or Mumsnet on the iPad or watch relaxing videos on YouTube.

Show quote history

I have no real interest in telly which is unlike me before this. I have MN and I listen to music. I need to be more proactive and plan like you.

OP posts:
TheClocksFast · 23/01/2026 22:06

Awwww, so sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug xx

nowisthetimeagain · 23/01/2026 22:08

When my mum died (5 years ago), the tears would come in waves and when they did, I just cried and cried. It was almost inconceivable to think of life without her but in time your heart and mind will find a new normal and you will be able to smile again. Right now, just go easy on yourself and if you want to cry, cry. Sending you a big virtual hug.

Alpacajigsaw · 23/01/2026 22:08

I’m sorry for your loss x it’s early days - be kind to yourself and lean into it

Original poster
Searchingforananswer2023 · 23/01/2026 22:17

nowisthetimeagain · 23/01/2026 22:08

When my mum died (5 years ago), the tears would come in waves and when they did, I just cried and cried. It was almost inconceivable to think of life without her but in time your heart and mind will find a new normal and you will be able to smile again. Right now, just go easy on yourself and if you want to cry, cry. Sending you a big virtual hug.

Edited

Thank you

OP posts:
AgnesX · 23/01/2026 22:19

The loss of a mother leaves a big hole that takes a long time to fill. Cry you need to.

Just take it a day at a time 💐

FlyHighLikeABird · 23/01/2026 22:26

@LadyMacbethWasFierce what a lovely compassionate reply from you when you have been through so much yourself with the loss of your mum and now your DD.

ThisGreenShaker · 23/01/2026 23:18

It's ok to cry, I lost my dear mum December 2024, we was very close too, I lived with her so it hit me hard, she was my best friend.
Grief has no time limit, be kind to yourself. I found being back at work helped and when I cried at work which was often my colleagues were understanding and kind.
I'm so sorry your going through this.
I found the SueRyder bereavement website really helpful. Look them up xx
Sending you love & strength xx

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