The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

I hope you keep us well up to date!! We could all be your virtual birthing partners

Simmering? We're near boiling! I like the idea of being virtual birthing partners. Have always quite fancied being a midwife myself, so maybe this could be my first experience of "attending" a birth!

But no, we should be calm. There is nothing worse for a heavily pg lady than people constantly saying "you still here?", "not had it yet?" and "you're ready to burst!", etc, etc, etc.

Instead I shall remain calm and thoughtful and just say to Ilike that we're all really excited for her and that we hope it comes soon, quickly and gently and as painlessly as possible .

Good Morning Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good morning Lottie - morning girls.

Shabs, when you next speak to Trips do send her my love please... i think of her often and pray for her and the family. We are all off shopping to Diss shortly...Wilf is in one of his "tricky" moods so i hope we get through the day without problems! Fingers and Toes Crossed!!!

I will do Lottie - she is a wonderful lady.

Good luck for today love - WILF, WILF, BEHAVE YOURSELF YOU CHEEKY MONKEY!!!!!

Thats another good book title -'Wilf is in a tricky mood!'

We have had a wonderful time... have posted a new picture of him with his home girlfriend!

Evening xxxxxxxxx

Hello Lottie,
Shabs passed your very kind message onto me, thank you for thinking about us. I can`t say the last few months have been very pleasant, life has been so stressful but we hang on in there! Do you live in Norfolk? My friend worked in Diss police station!

Night girls - see you in the morning. xxx

Morning all xxxxxxxxxxxx Trips... I live 20 mins over the border into Suffolk and Diss is the nearest station for me to travel from. Hugs to you and yours xxxxxxx

Hello everyone - I hope I'm not intruding.
I haven't lost a baby, but am loosing my dad.
He has pancreatic cancer which has spread to his liver. Chamo is no longer an option as he is too poorly now.
My life feels pretty bad now, any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

Yorkiemom, I'm not very good at words of wisdom I'm afraid. Shabs is though and she'll be about, I'm sure.
I'm truly sorry that your dad is so unwell. It must be so hard for you and your family knowing nothing can be done. I'm sure you know this but enjoy every moment with him and make sure he knows all the things you would want him to know. Don't expect too much of yourself (or of those around you) and make sure you look after yourself as well as you can. xx

So glad you came Yorkie. Hang around for all the mums on this thread - we all learn from each other. We all share our experiences and thoughts. I wish I could change your situation but I cant. I can just say make the most of every minute of every day with your darling dad.

Like I said on the other thread - if we can help you on here we always will.

So sorry that we had to meet this way but so glad you came to chat on 'Eris' thread.

xxx

Hi Ladies,

I wanted to do a big shout out for some of the ladies we haven't seen here for a while (I hope I've got the details right as my brain is mashed at the moment):

LouiseAnn - If ny brain is working properly, I'm sure you are due soon? I hope you and your lo are well.

Dippy - how is your dh? How is the treatment going, and how are holding up?

Dooby - you were going through a bad patch a while ago. I hope you've made your way through the otherside. If there is anything we can do, just post.

Mel - how is your fil? It must be such a hard time for all of you.

Yorkie - welcome (?!) to this thread. Sorry we have to meet in such circumstances though. I'm not sure I have any pearls of wisdom. Just make sure you and your dad have said everything you need to say to each other, don't leave anything unsaid. Even if your dad wants to talk about things that may be difficult for you to hear (funeral arrangements, where he wants to pass away), he needs to you to hear them.

I think of us all a lot (even if I'm not around to post) and wish us all peace, love and strength to face tomorrow xx

Hello Yorkiemom,
I am truly sad to hear about your Dad. I lost my Dad to cancer 8 years ago, he went into hospital with a suspected heart attack, and within 48 hours we were told he had cancer in four places, such a shock as he had had heart problems for over 20 years. He was given 6 months, but died two weeks later, no time to come to terms with "cancer".We all spent the three days at his bed side when we were called, day and night, my trips were only two, but I couldnt leave him. He did not speak for all that time until an hour before he died he just sat up and spoke to us all, telling us how much he loved us, even made us laugh at his old jokes, it was unreal. To this day there isnt another man I love more, I miss him every single day, so I feel so much for you. I promised him I would not cry, and I have been very good, I believe he is with my beloved son who died six years before him, that comforts me. I now have my husband fighting cancer, life is so unfair, but we cannot change things. Just make every minute count, and remember he will never really leave you, he will be in your heart every day, and your love for him, his love for you can never end, xxxxxx

Awww Trips - that was a lovely post. Dread the day anything happens to my Mam and Dad xxx

Hello moveit thanks for the welcome. Thats one of the hardest things, my dad does'nt talk about anythink at all. General day to day stuff now and again, when he has the strenght, but he does'nt talk about anything to do with the future.

Thanks triplets, it seems so unfair that you should loose so many loved ones in a lifetime. To now have your husband with cancer just seems so unreal.I hope your husband keeps fighting.
You are right my dad will always be with me, in a way he carries on in me and my children.
Its just so hard to watch him diminish before my eyes.

Today has'nt been too good, as I took my anger out on my mom, and said some horrible things that really did'nt need to be said.

We are ok now, but I feel totally crap, I never argue with my mom, we are all a really close family.

Evening all... my dad died a couple of years ago. Sadly all the happy memories i have of him have been wiped out by a letter he wrote before he died which i received six months after he died. I feel i didnt have the relationship with him that i thought i had.

I'm sorry lottie, that must be really bloody awful. I'm really really sorry, it must be hard for you.

Hi all, sorry to hear your going through such a rough time ATM yorkie and the ladies on here are great at making you feel a bit better when times are hard and despite what they say they give great words of wisdom.
Moveit- thanks for the mention...I try to post as often as I can but TBH find it hard to keep up sometimes.
My FIL has had all his tests (except bone marrow cause he bent 3 needles in the process so the nurses gave up!)but he is getting his results on Mon so we will know how good?/bad the situation is by the afternoon. Its a bit odd cause we fell out with them for 3 years and never saw one another but it was only about 3months ago that we got back in contact -for our boys sake really. And we have all been getting on really well then to get this bad news 3 weeks ago. Were just greatful that we did get back in contact and we didnt have to go through this with bad blood between us.

Not sure what are the right words for this stupid oclock time at night.

Im glad that Feedmenow posted about Eris....so glad. Eris has brought me some lovely new friends. We have all met up under some strange circumstances....under much sadness and grief....under one or two and

We all have miles to walk along this path of utter crap!! Lets walk together and try to help each other.

I appreciate all of you so very much. xx

Morning girls xx