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My darling dad

38 replies

theluckiest · 10/11/2025 15:40

I’ve been through this before with my mum. It’s brought back all the hideous memories of long nights stuck in a hospital room waiting for the inevitable.

My darling, dear dad is now end of life and I don’t think he’s going to make tomorrow to be honest.

Hes been very ill for a while with stomach issues & not able to eat without severe pain. We brought him to A&E a week ago & they’ve been running tests & tackling a nasty infection, etc. Last night he was in a lot of pain so they prepped him for emergency surgery first thing this morning but after reviewing his case, realised he wasn’t well enough for the op.

So that’s it. We’ve reached the end of the line for him.

It’s just so bloody awful, isn’t it? He’s on a morphine driver and is currently sleeping.

i just needed to write this down somewhere .Thankyou for reading…

was going to name change but fuck it. If you know me IRL, I know you’re lovely anyway and probably already know about this..

OP posts:
Sohereitissuddenly · 10/11/2025 15:45

I'm so sorry @theluckiest

I lost my own darling dad two and a half years ago. He had pancreatic cancer and died within 3 weeks of diagnosis.

Just hold his hand. Tell him you love him.

Big hugs to you. Flowers

MD2020and10LambertandButlerPlease · 10/11/2025 15:47

I'm so sorry. I wish there were words to take your pain away.

I remember so clearly sitting by my daughter in hospital, waiting for her to die, and feeling so conflicted because I still wanted her here, but also wishing she wasnt suffering anymore, and it just feeling so surreal.

I hope that the coming hours, days and weeks are as gentle on you and your dad as they can be, he must be an amazing man to be so loved 💐

Screwyousimon · 10/11/2025 16:19

So sorry. I lost mine two years ago, suddenly and would’ve so wished to have been by his side. Take care losing a parent is brutal x

theluckiest · 10/11/2025 17:08

It is brutal. Awful, draining and I’m already so tired. I can’t leave him tho. No idea how much longer he has so it’s that waiting game now.
They’ve brought me a camp bed so I can stay with him for as long as he needs.

💐 to those who’ve been there too.

He is very loved @MD2020and10LambertandButlerPlease!! He’s had lots of visitors today. We all love him very much

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 10/11/2025 17:11

I’m so sorry. Just a shoulder pat across the ether.

NameChange1412 · 10/11/2025 17:23

Big cuddles and handholds from me Flowers I lost my wonderful Dad very suddenly and unexpectedly last January, it was a awful shock as he wasn’t ill 😞

I got three final weeks with mine in ITU, I spent it chattering away to him even though he was in a coma, playing him his favourite music and just soaking him in as much as I could.

Stay with him as long as you need to, but also don’t feel guilty for going to get something to eat, stretching your legs or popping out to chat to someone on the phone, as you have to take care of yourself too. Lean on the nurses taking care of him (I am also a nurse) as they will want to make sure you are as comfortable and looked-after as your Dad is, nothing is too big an ask. My Dad’s ITU nurse played hairdresser and beauty therapist with me one night, and between us we got Dad looking like himself again.

Also don’t feel guilty if you want to limit visits from other people as he nears the end, I felt like I didn’t want to ‘share’ my Dad for too long when it became apparent that he didn’t have much time left.

I’ll be thinking of you and your Dad tonight ❤️

theluckiest · 10/11/2025 21:49

Thankyou. I know exactly what you mean @NameChange1412. There were lots of visitors earlier and I wanted them all to just bugger off. But then when they did bugger off, I wished I had someone with me.

The staff have been fantastic. Can’t fault them. It’s going to be a long night though so I’ll probably be back here just putting down my thoughts.

Thankyou for holding my hand…

OP posts:
LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 10/11/2025 23:10

Hand hold from here. Be kind to yourself.

There are few experiences so exhausting and yet so static. Along with grief, I think some part of you is on alert as if you need to react to an emergency (because a life is in danger).

My Dad died in the summer- in circumstances that sound similar.

Justtryingthis · 10/11/2025 23:16

Hand hold from me. My darling dad died 3 weeks ago, just 6 days after being diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of MND. We are all still reeling. His funeral was a week ago tomorrow.
I wish you love and strength to get through the next few hours and days. PM me if you need to chat. I understand x

ticktockitsNCtime · 10/11/2025 23:18

I’m so sorry. It’s the worst time ever, really terrible to go through. Thinking of you.

BauhausOfEliott · 10/11/2025 23:20

All I can say is that I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my lovely, lovely dad last month and I know what a horrible thing it is to experience. Sending you all my love and sympathy and I’m glad they’re able to keep him comfortable with morphine so he can sleep peacefully.

theluckiest · 11/11/2025 02:44

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 10/11/2025 23:10

Hand hold from here. Be kind to yourself.

There are few experiences so exhausting and yet so static. Along with grief, I think some part of you is on alert as if you need to react to an emergency (because a life is in danger).

My Dad died in the summer- in circumstances that sound similar.

Yes, that’s exactly it.

He’s barely breathing now so I keep dozing off then waking to check he’s still with us. Part of my brain won’t allow me to sleep as it’s on alert.

It’s utterly exhausting and sad. I guess id rather be here than not though.

OP posts:
theluckiest · 11/11/2025 04:03

So my dad passed away at 3am this morning. I had to keep checking if he was breathing until he wasn’t anymore.
He was a wonderful Dad and I adore him. I’m an only child and most definitely a daddy’s girl. He made my childhood so happy and would do anything not just for me, but everyone.

thankyou for the handhold tonight

OP posts:
carwashthecat · 11/11/2025 04:09

Aww I’m so sorry for your loss - he sounds like a wonderful dad and your love for him shines through in your posts - he would have known how much he was/is loved Flowers

MD2020and10LambertandButlerPlease · 11/11/2025 04:14

I'm so sorry 💐

A quote that sticks with me is - wherever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories- And it sounds like you have many beautiful memories of your Dad.

I hope you're getting some well earned rest just now, and that you have lots of support around you.

Diplidocus4 · 11/11/2025 04:21

Am so very sorry Flowers
He had you by his side and knew how much you loved him.
such a difficult time , I hope you have support around you.

ExpatForLife · 11/11/2025 05:01

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in September. It’s so hard. My dad really was the best father in the world and it sounds like yours was too.

Take care of yourself.

Helpmefindmysoul · 11/11/2025 05:08

So sorry for your loss 💐 sending you strength at this difficult time..

PermanentTemporary · 11/11/2025 05:12

Oh I’m sorry, what a night for you. I hope you have people who can take care of you today. May his memory be for a blessing.

Crunched · 11/11/2025 05:14

How lucky you are to have had such a great Dad 🕊️ Sorry for your loss.

Marylou62 · 11/11/2025 05:32

I'm so very sorry. I lost my own lovely Dad nearly 3 years ago and my absolutely beautiful Mum in December last year. I considered it a privilege to have been lucky enough to have been with both of them at the end.
Please accept the gentlest of hugs and knowledge that you were so loved.

thetallfairy · 11/11/2025 05:48

So sorry O p

Thinking of you and all of your family

It is just horrendous lost both parents

I cry for them daily xxxxxx

Sohereitissuddenly · 11/11/2025 06:24

So sorry Flowers

Sending you all the love.

dmango · 11/11/2025 06:49

So sorry @theluckiest no words just sending you love and thinking of you ♥️

ticktockitsNCtime · 11/11/2025 10:29

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love.

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