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Original poster

My DH would have been 39 today

54 replies

Izabella · 06/06/2008 21:27

Hi everyone,

I've not posted in this area of MN so far but felt like I needed to come here today. My lovely husband died 3 years ago of a brain tumour and not a day goes by when I do not think about him or wonder what life would be like if he were still alive. My one regret is that he never got to meet his daughter, although I am sure he does know about her.

My husband was a kind, compassionate person with a great sense of humour and a passion for living life to the full. Many friends and even some family members just don't make mention of his birthday anymore but I want to celebrate his life, especially today.

Thanks for giving me the chance to do this here.

OP posts:
laughalot · 06/06/2008 21:29

He sounded like a amazing man. Happy birthday to your dh wherever he may be im sure he is looking down on you and your dd and is so very proud. God bless xx

MargaretMountford · 06/06/2008 21:29

hi Izabella - - it's good to share these things on mnxxx

MargaretMountford · 06/06/2008 21:30

am certain that he'll be watching over you both - I really believe that

FrannyandZucchini · 06/06/2008 21:30

I am happy to hear about him
I am sorry he is not with you today - glad you have such great memories of him

uptomyeyes · 06/06/2008 21:32

Oh lovely what mixed emotions you must have ...you say you want to celebrate his life and his birthday - so I shall lift my glass to you, your DH and your gorgeous little girl this evening.

ajandjjmum · 06/06/2008 21:33

x

inzidoodle · 06/06/2008 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 06/06/2008 21:37

Happy birthday to your DH.

ComeOVeneer · 06/06/2008 21:37

I know you have/are supported OJ recently, and want to wish you and your dd all the best today and in the future. With a strong mummy like you I'm sure she will always have her daddy in her heart.

Gingerbear · 06/06/2008 21:39

I raise a glass to the memory of your DH.
MN comes into its own at times like these.

Guitargirl · 06/06/2008 21:43

What a lovely post to remember your DH on his birthday. I hope today has been how you wished it to be.

PeckaRolloverAgain · 06/06/2008 21:46

Raising a glass to your husband on his birthday.

God bless you and your little girl x

JemimaBear · 06/06/2008 21:54

That's such a lovely testament to your DH on his birthday. I'm sorry for you that not everyone close to you is talking about him today, but I think perhaps they are remembering him in their own private thoughts, and it might be that they don't want to upset you. I'm certain that you are loving to see your DH live on in your daughter. Much love x

cathcat · 06/06/2008 21:58

Sending you best wishes on this day which must be one of such mixed emotions for you. I'm sure your DH would be very proud of you for everything you do for your daughter.
My friend would have been 35 today, he died a long time ago but I'm going to take his mum flowers this weekend. People can go but they are not forgotten, even if it can be hard to talk about sometimes.
Best wishes x

Kewcumber · 06/06/2008 21:58

some people seel really awkward mentioning someone who died don;t thya. Such a shame I think. Have you tired opening the subject yourself? They may be happy to respond but uncertian about whether to bring it up.

BecauseImWorthIt · 06/06/2008 22:01

I've often wondered about you/your dh from your posts on OJ's thread.

Glad that you have, in MN, a place where you can talk about your DH and celebrate his memory.

Original poster
Izabella · 06/06/2008 22:48

Thanks everyone. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Three years on I seem to miss him more but I am now able to remember him as being healthy rather than sick and recall all the wonderful times we had together before the cancer really took hold. Thank you again. xxx

OP posts:
triplets · 06/06/2008 23:00

Dear Izabella,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today, your DH brthday. I understand how you feel, my son died just before his 15th birthday, this July he will be 29, thats how Ifeel, not hhe would have been 29, he is! But after 14 years I get so hurt that neither family or friends mark that day, for him, for me. It is still his birthday and I need a card to put up by his picture, but they don`t come. Happy birthday to your dearest Dh and much love to you and your daughter xxxx

naswm · 06/06/2008 23:02

HUGS

Hassled · 06/06/2008 23:04

What a lovely, brave post. I do think the birthdays of people you've lost can become more significant than the actual anniversary of the death - I suppose because there are so many vivid, happy memories around birthdays. And as time goes on following a bereavement it is easier to just hang on to the good memories. All the best.

Yorkiegirl · 06/06/2008 23:05

Message withdrawn

2shoes · 06/06/2008 23:09

Izabella can I just send you

triplets · 06/06/2008 23:10

And we have not forgotten you Yorkiegirl, seems like yesterday xx

Yorkiegirl · 06/06/2008 23:12

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Izabella · 06/06/2008 23:12

Thank you so triplets. Yes, I also think of Mark in the present and not the past tense. We even sang 'Happy Birthday' to him and my DD blew out the candle on the cake. I am so sorry to hear about your dear son. I hope you are able to celebrate his birthday in the way that you want to. Just because he is no longer with you doesn't make him any less your son and doesn't negate the fact that he was the heart and sole of your life for nearly 15 years, and still is. Even though I've obviously never met your son, I would love to send you a card on his special day. xxx

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