My darling dad

[Beelady1]

We sadly and very unexpectedly lost my wonder dad yesterday. I don’t really know why I’m writing this is just feel so shocked, heartbroken and devastated. My poor son adored him and in absolutely broken. I am trying so hard to stay strong infront of him but I just can’t stop crying or just feel completely numb, like I am in a horrible cycle. I can’t stop hearing my dad’s voice and seeing how he was yesterday. We have to wait for PM now and so many unanswered questions. For context he had electively surgery just over a week ago, he had a few complication the initial days but was starting to turn a corner Monday and Tuesday. The doctors said his bloods were all going in the right direction they kept telling us he will get better it’s just taking a little longer for him. I could see the fear in my dad and that is haunting me. He then had a sudden cardiac arrest yesterday morning. I am a nurse my self and kept asking all the question I kept saying something doesn’t feel right and I feel I have failed him and my family. My poor mum and sisters are all just have devastating. He was only 70 and usually fit and well and had so much life to live and we all had so much love to give him. I just want my dad

I am so very sorry for your loss ♥️

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's such a huge shock and you'll likely be in shock for a while. I hope you can get through the next days and weeks and rely on the support of your family. I lost my Mum last year aged 69 and she had to have a post mortem as well, it's all really hard.

So so sorry for your loss x here if you want to talk x

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your Dad Beelady1. Having lost my own Dad, whilst in hospital (on the operating table), I can fully understand the absolute devestation you are feeling . When you loose someone close and so unexpectedly, it's very hard to come to terms with the fallout. Stay close to your Mom and Sisters and comfort each other as much as possible. Big hugs to you at this very difficult time. 🌹

I am so sorry this has happened to your Dad, and to your family 🌹

My Mum was 70 when she went into hospital for a routine simple operation and then got sepsis which she never recovered from. We went from her being okay after the operation, to getting that phone call that she had developed sepsis and was being moved to ICU, to being told she was dying within 2 days.

Sudden death is brutal. The shock was overwhelming. Getting your head round your otherwise healthy parent, who was only 70, suddenly being here one minute and gone the next, with no chance for goodbyes is horrific.

I feel for you and just couldn't read and not offer you my greatest sympathy as I know how this feels and its traumatising.

Please lean on your family and friends, you will need them as you navigate this awful time. And, baby steps, take one hour, one day, one week at a time.

You will come out the other side of it but it will feel wrong and surreal for a while and you will have all sorts of mixed emotions as you try to deal with your loss and your grief.

Sending hugs xx

Thank you for your reply. It physically hurts, he was meant to get better, had so much to live for. We all thought the surgery was for the best this wasn’t suppose to happen. The nurse in me has seen this happen before and know how cruel and unfair life can be. Why my dad

Thank you so much for your reply. I hate to know others have been through this pain but it’s somewhat comforting to know xxx

Same with my Mum. The surgery was supposed to be the best option and it was a simple procedure. In stead it took her life and took her from us. She left behind my Dad, who was broken, my brother, her grand children and her sisters. Everyone just left shocked and devastated. The aftermath of her death was brutal and physically so painful. All I could think was my Mum didn't deserve for this to be the end. She had so many things she was looking forward to. She didn't deserve to go yet. Why her? 😥

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are getting lots of support and love in real life. Don’t be worried about crying in front of your son, he knows you are sad and showing him that expressing emotions and grief when you are sad is fine.

Oh what a shock - there's no solution. Sending you love

I’m so sorry for your loss. That must have been such a shock for you. Take care of yourself 💐

It’s just so awful and unbearable. He was my rock, my go to the one that was always there. Even this passed week that he’s been in hospital there’s been so many times I’ve wanted to call him, ask advice on something and I just don’t know how to go on.
I just so wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I’m so sorry you have had to experience this pain first hand.
my dad left behind my mum, 3 sisters and 6 grandchildren. Just awful

You will get through it, together, as a family. I had my daughters and my DH to help me through also and I don't know how I would have coped if not for them. But I won't lie, it will hurt like hell for a while. It took a long time for me to come to terms and to process what happened to my Mum. All the while trying to be strong for my Dad who was just a broken man who didn't want to live himself anymore. And my two daughters who lost their lovely Nanna.

It has been a couple of years now since I lost Mum and I still don't feel like its real sometimes. Still think of her pottering around her house and in her garden or reading a book with a cup of tea. I miss her everyday and so many things have happened that I feel so sad she has missed. But it does get easier. In time. I promise.

My Dad struggled without Mum and he went to bed earlier this year and never woke up again and passed away suddenly in his sleep, so they are now reunited. But we have just been through the whole process again with Dads sudden death. Life is bloody cruel sometimes.

I’m so, so sorry for your loss xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died very suddenly nearly 9 years ago. We didn't know he was ill, had only just (3 weeks before) turned 70. He just lay down to take a nap and never woke up again. I didn't have children then, but my siblings did, and I know my sister found it very hard. My nephew was 8 and old to understand. My niece had just turned 4, and I'll never forget her innocently saying to me, "grandad's never coming back" and I had to leave the room so that they wouldn't see me cry. I now have two children myself, one aged 3 and the other aged 4 months, and I'm devastated that they never got to meet him ☹️

I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words 😢

I'm so sorry. You don't have to ne strong. You have to make sure your son is fed and safe and you are too and beside that there are no rules. No right or wrong way to do this. You don't need to be strong you need to just keep breathing deep over and over and over again . Im so sorry you lost your wonderful dad xxx

I am so sorry for your loss. I went to a wedding reception and he was gone when we got home. It was one of hardest things I have ever faced. It will get easier, I promise you

So sorry for your loss, sudden deaths with loved ones is very traumatic, it will take time and you have absolutely not failed anyone and sound like an amazing daughter x

I'm so sorry. I know it hurts so much losing a parent. I lost my dad last year and my mother a few years before that.

Sorry for your loss ❤

so sorry for you op, the heartbreak is literally a physical painful.

I lost my mum very suddenly - she effectively died in my arms. The loss and the shock and the feeling of guilt that I couldn’t save her … it’s a lot.

that was over four years but I still talk to my mum, and sometimes I hear her voice in my head - I knew her soooo well that I always know exactly what she’d say, what she’d laugh at, what would annoy her.

Your dad is with you in spirit and in the love you and your family shared for him, and once you get past these awful days of early grief, you will have that small comfort to help you learn to live again.

I don’t think you are ever “over it” but you won’t always feel so utterly desperate, I am wishing you strength for now and peace in the future.

So sorry OP ❤️

So very sorry for your loss, what a horrible shock. You absolutely do not need to be staying strong.. you will be grieving and it’s fine to show that in front of your son. You will go on autopilot for a while and grief comes in waves. I lost my mum a few years back at just 68. My kids were so so young (both preschool)but I do take comfort that she did at least get to meet them. Take care

I just wanted to say reading your post is almost exactly to how I lost my dad. He was my best friend I miss him so much. 5 years on I still feel the guilt of did we do enough eveh though I asked the nurses all time why he was not picking up after his operation (bowel surgery) told he was just a slow recovery. Within 24 hours of me getting a call he was rushed back to surgery with sepsis his bowel had leaked and he passed away in ICU with us all by his side. He looked so frightened when they took him down to theatre. It still breaks me I carry the guilt. I just wanted you to know your not alone your dad sounds a wonderful man. I cope by keeping his memory alive through my kids we talk about him all the time and we laugh and remember the good times. It's unfair he was such a great man he was only 69 still so much life in him. Take care of yourself during this tough time xx