Can my 18mo connect with spirits?

[MamaMur]

My mum who I’m extremely close to died very suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 6 months pregnant with my first son.

I’ve never been a believer in the supernatural but since DS’s birth, strange things have been happening that make me think otherwise.

I’ve found random white feathers next to his cot at least 10 separate occasions. No explanation how they’ve got there, I even took all the soft furnishings etc apart to make sure none had feathers in them.

After this I went to see a medium for the first time ever. DS was about 6mo. She said I have a young son under 1 who often plays with a ball in the corner of the room and giggles (true). She said when he does this he is speaking to my mum. He still does this to this day but now also says ‘Granny’ and points to the corner.

Since he’s been about 10mo, If I flick through photos of family members DS meets regularly, he looks intently, maybe smiles. If I swipe to a photo of my mum, he laughs and kisses the phone.

The night before my last birthday, I lay in bed ‘speaking’ to my mum and asking her to show me a sign that she’s here, specifically to give me a kiss through DS (DS blows kisses but at that point had never kissed me). The next morning, my birthday, DS was walking out the door with DH to go to nursery, and suddenly ran back and gave me a kiss on the lips then ran back out to go to nursery.

A few days ago I asked DS if he had ever met his granny. He said yes. I then asked him a few more questions (adding in some curveballs to see if he was just agreeing with everything I said).

Me: Do you see granny at nursery?
DS: No
Me: Do you see granny at the park?
DS: No
Me: Do you see granny when you’re sleeping?
DS: Yes
Me: What does granny do, does she make your dinner?
DS: No
Me: Does she brush your hair?
DS: No
Me: Does she tell you funny stories?
DS: Yes
Me: Does she give you cuddles and kisses?
DS: nods, blows kisses and snuggles into me
Me: Where does granny live?
DS: points up and laughs

Do you think he could really be connecting with my mum somehow or is this just spooky coincidence that I’m reading into due to grief?

Going against the usual mumsnet grain I’m going to say I think there is a lot we don’t understand about the world and specifically around how time works and what happens when we die.
i like to try to maintain a sceptical mind but I’ve had some really inexplicable things happen to me that make me wonder what we don’t know.
I’ve also seen quite a few mediums over the years. Some definitely cold read but I’ve seen one or 2 who have told me stuff they have no way of knowing.
I don’t know what I believe really but I have a similar story to yours with one of my dds and I would like to think there’s something out there.
im sorry you lost your mum

I am a massive sceptic about all of this. I vehemently disagree that any of this is 'true'. But even with that, if it is helping you, giving you comfort, making you feel that your baby is connected with your mammy, who the fuck am i to make you feel bad about it?

Apart from the bit about you paying money to a medium (honestly, they're ambulance chasers who prey on people, like you, who are hurting. Please don't do that again), you aren't hurting anyone and if it brings you comfort then I am not going to judge you or make you feel bad about seeing you mum in your kid. I do, actually, firmly believe that we are all connected in our hearts.

I agree with this.

Sorry for your loss. I don't believe myself and agree with PP about not paying mediums, but you can believe whatever brings you comfort and helps you feel connected to her, because of course she lives on in you and your child without any supernatural elements anyway. I wouldn't be cross-examining your child like that, no doubt it'll be forgotten so it's not a big deal, but it is a bit confusing and he's only going to make as much sense as you are, talking about people who aren't there. Best to talk to people who remember her and keep her memory alive that way and cuddle your lovely DC for comfort too.

@MamaMur Yes I do believe your son is communicating with your mother.

Ask for more signs (be as specific as you like and it doesn't necessarily need to come through your son) and see what comes up. You will be amazed at the ways souls can communicate with us.

I think it is entirely possible. After my father died I found white feathers for a while and felt very peaceful and at the time I did not know of their significance.

I'm a hopeful sceptic. I think what you've described could easily be explained by subconscious suggestion by you to your son.
But as PP say if it gives you comfort then what's the harm.

No. You're reading into this to hear what you want to hear. If your mother wants to contact you, and that capability exists, then why doesn't she just do it directly?

Dying means the end of life and letting it go. When I die I'd hate for my DD to get caught up in nonsense like this. I'd want her to go on and have a happy life with fond memories of me, not something like this

I’m concerned if you genuinely found random feathers on multiple occassions. If you believe this to be true, it might be worth going to the GP to discuss.

A couple of times there could be some explanation….maybe your son took them out of a craft kit. Ten times? No. That doesn’t happen so possibly your mind playing tricks on you.

No-one knows absolutely for sure, but I would put very good money on it being coincidence and grief.

If you look at that conversion with your son, you can see the no/no/yes pattern of a child being quizzed on something they don't know the right answer to, trying no twice (which is true) and then going for yes because they realise no isn't the answer that you're looking for. I'm sure you've told your son that Granny is up in heaven so pointing up when asked where she lives isn't surprising either.

You can find genuine comfort in the fact that your mum lives on with you and your son in your memory and in both of your genetics. She is raising your son because she raised you. She will always be connected to him through you. That's far better than dropping feathers next to his cot.

There are various online groups where people can - if they wish - join a service and possibly get a brief reading. No need to contact the scoundrels who are after money.

Who knows? But I think it's beautiful that maybe your mum and baby have a connection.

I'm an open minded sceptic and I won't burst your bubble, I really hope you find comfort in these little signs.

Whatever the truth, I'm absolutely certain your mum would delight in her grandchild and that love never dies. Keep her memory alive and she'll always be with you.

I am sorry but he does not communicate with spirits. No one does. I also very much doubt you found these white feathers. I am sorry you are grieving, but this is nonsense.

I think love is stronger than death and your mum is very much with you and your child. I'm sorry you lost her but she's still with you clearly.

There are various spiritualist church groups on FB, OP, if you feel the need to discuss this...but absolutely do not contact any of the mediums who offer readings for money.

For example, there's a bloke who advertises himself as "The Scottish Medium". He does give some free readings on FB, but he's trying to get folk to come back to him for more. Avoid like the plague. An actual group is safer.

ETA Steer well clear of the charlatans who advertise that they're appearing at clubs and pubs.

No. Your 18 month old is not connected to spirits. Mediums are absolute con artists who prey on the vulnerable and grieving. Please don't waste any more money on these charlatans.
I'm sorry for your loss.

agree

That’s exactly what I’m saying…it absolutely did happen. I have them collected in a trinket jar…my DH has found them too.

I guarantee you I’m not imagining it if that’s what you’re suggesting. They have always been on the carpet next to DS’s cot when we get him up in the morning. He has not been out of his cot during the nights and I certainly wouldn’t be leaving him unattended with craft kits, which we don’t own.

I've had two instances of white feathers appearing at what seemed to be significant moments - mind you that was outside, though I didn't see any birds.

The first time was at the funeral service of my dad's best pal: his niece, a funeral director, caught it. The second time was just prior to a drumhead service where my husband and other regimental members who had died during lockdown were commemorated.

A pipe band marched past, playing my MIL's favourite tune. I turned to my BIL and his son and said "Oh, that was J's favourite!" Just then, a white feather floated down and landed amongst the three of us.

Logic dictates that in both cases there must have been a bird of some description around though no one saw a bird on either occasion.

The funeral director niece* was convinced that it was significant on the first occasion. Others have told me that the feather landing in the middle of our family group prior to the drumhead service was significant.

I don't know what to think. The logical bit of my brain says that feathers float around and it was a coincidence, but I'll always wonder.

As I've said on my previous posts, OP, there are FB groups where you can discuss this kind of thing. Some spiritualist churches and groups hold virtual coffee mornings where you can just have a chat via Zoom and you don't even need to sit through a service. Don't consider anyone who is looking for money.

If you want to find those who are sincere, do a FB search for 'Spiritual' or 'Spiritualist'. If you decide to have a look, only look at groups in the UK. (I can think of one based in Minorca run by a Brit and his motives are dubious to say the least.) Sincere Spiritualists will tell you not to go anywhere near those who want money.

I'm particularly unimpressed by those who tell women around my age (nearly 65) "Your mother's in spirit," and then - when they're told that that's wrong "Oh well, it's a mother figure or someone on your mother's side..."

*The niece wasn't officiating. It was a lockdown funeral and she was waiting outside the church with those of us who weren't allowed inside. She was in uniform because she was heading off to officiate at someone else's funeral after attending her uncle's.

I have also found random white feathers which I think is from my mother who died 30 years ago. I think you can have signs and messages from the dead and I recently had one from my dead friend when my daughter visited a medium. There was no way the medium would know my friends name and her husbands name who is also dead. My daughter was very surprised but passed on her message to me which has since come true. All very strange but comforting to me to know she still thinks about me

You sound like an idiot

OP I'm very sorry you lost your Mum but I agree with this poster.

Chances are he's picking up cues from you, that you don't even know your giving. But no one can categorically say he's not talking to nanny, because no one knows. If it brings you comfort and he's happy with it then carry on.

I'm very sceptical about the intentions of mediums who make money out of people's grief. But there is so much we don't understand about the world, and I don't believe that reality consists only of what we can see and touch and explain.
I believe very young children are more tuned in to spirits, or the supernatural, or "energies", auras, whatever you want to call it, than adults are.
I don't think it's at all beyond the realms of possibility that your DS has some kind of connection with your mum on a non-physical plane.

Totally agree with this.