Is this normal grief or something more

[DivertedTraffic]

My mum, my dad, my step dad and a friend have all died since Covid. The death of my mum has been particularly hard for me.

I've started to think "what's the point?" What's the point of being alive if we are just going to die, to end. What's the point of buying anything, doing anything, "making memories" that people talk about so often. It all just gets swept away. In the end it means nothing.

Is this just layers of grief and mourning that time will diminish or do you think it's slipped into something more serious that I should get help for?

Oh @DivertedTraffic condolences and so sorry for your loss. That is a mountain of grief to be dealing with at once especially your lovely mother.

I honestly think your feeling is perfectly normal. Loss is hard. Grief is nasty. Grief for a loved mother is the toughest of all.

I saw your post and wanted to link to my thread from 202I2 when I felt like that (whats the point) but it was more extreme. I had what is called passive suicidal ideation - so not actively wanting to kill yourself, but a sense of 'I wouldn't care if I died tonight'.

It maybe worth you reading because firstly it shows how I felt at the time. It's taken me over two years but I do feel less like that. It's a slow process and took me a long time . secondly there were some truly lovely replies that may help you.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement/4663763-trigger-warning-anyone-got-any-experience-of-passive-suicidal-ideation-in-bereavement

I would really recommend signing up for grief counselling if you haven't looked into it - Cruse ( or a evenlocal area bereavement service if there is one) offer free grief counselling. I was a battle hardened skeptic but it really did help me. Having an independent unbiased ear experienced with the horror of grief is very helpful to listen to you.

I'm a layman and no expert but my guess is that you are likely to have complicated grief (technically grief that lasts longer than 6 months) because of your number of bereavements that are significant in a short time - so grief counselling can really help with that.

I'm still standing just about. A day at a time. One foot in front of the other.

Oh OP that's a lot.
I think to some extent it depends on how that thinking is impacting on your behavior and your life.

If it's occasional "what's the point in it all" then it's probably not to consuming but if it is all the time and impacting on your quality of life then it's time to get some help 💕

I'm sorry for your losses. From what I've seen, a close death triggering existential questions is pretty common and normal. It makes us take stock of our own mortality. Your losses are fairly recent, so I don't think it's abnormal that you're still processing those questions or asking them. I would seek help if it's affecting your day to day life or stopping you living.

In the end, we all have an allotted time here and my own loss has helped me to live much more fully in the end.