I'm not sure why I'm typing this really. I don't really have anyone else to talk to. Both me and my OH of 15 years had serious disabilities but they were complimentary. I could do the tasks that he couldn't do and he could do the ones I couldn't.
We had a simple life together, we didn't go out much as his doctor said COVID was too big a risk for him but we have had a wonderful time the last few years. Almost non stop talking and laughing from morning to night. My wonderful dad would visit 2-3 evenings a week picking up the slack on the one or two household tasks we couldn't do ourselves. They both loved to cook together and were best friends. The house was never quiet (not even when we were sleeping OH snored so loudly).
Out of nowhere dad died in January. One day we were planning on redoing my bedroom, he gave me a list of things to order from IKEA after he measured everything up. I called him to tell him the delivery date and go no answer. After hours of worried calling I got through to his housemate who broke into his room and found him dead in bed. He'd fallen asleep and just never woke up. He wasn't ill and was only 68 so it was a massive shock. The last two months have been very hard adjusting to life without him.
Monday night OH started struggling to breathe. I called an ambulance and they took him in. He stabilised very quickly and we were arranging lifts to figure out how to get him home when the hospital called and told me to go right away. I didn't get there in time.
That was Thursday. The house is silent for the first time ever and I'm totally lost. We got together when I was 18, I don't know how to be an adult without him. I don't think I even physically can.
Night times are the worst. I started getting horrific gut churning anxiety at night time in January but it's 5x worse now.
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Bereavement
Back to back deaths and my whole world collapsed.
DoAWheelie · 25/03/2024 09:41
I am so sorry to hear this op, your dad and partner sounded so lovely 
Hi Op , I am so sorry to hear of your recent losses . That must be absolutely heartbreaking for you .
I am not sure if you have any other relatives / friends are able to support you now at least for a short period of time?
I am glad that you have been to your Doctors and got some medication.
You mentioned that there were somethings that you weren't able to do by yourself . Are these practical things that you think others here may be able to suggest solutions to ?
Do you need to contact your local social services department to see if they are able to start the process of getting someone / a carer to help you with anything day to day ? Apologies if that is not the case and you do not need any support day to day .
I hope that you have someone who can physically be with you and provide some support just now .
I think you have to just try and get through this day by day / hour by hour .
I am glad that you have a cat(s ) to cuddle ( if they are the cuddly variety ) .
Take care of yourself and make sure to eat and drink even if it is only soup or something light for the time being .
It's not often that I read something on here and it makes me gasp, but this did.
Oh my goodness, that's just so awful. Tragic. I have no idea how you are coping with that double whammy. You must be bereft.
All anyone can say is sorry, all anyone can do is hug you. All your friends and family can do is look after you.
Time will help you to adjust, but for now take it one hour at a time,
Smarter people will be along soon to give better guidance on support available to you.
In the meantime I'm sending you a big warm, lasting hug and letting you now that strangers form far away are thinking of you.
Would you like to tell us more lovely dad and OH ?
Oh my goodness. How awful.
Back to back bereavements are so hard.
Take one day at a time DoAWheelie .
I am so sorry for your losses, and, going on the age of your Dad, at such a young age
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