My dad died

[purpleme12]

My dad died about a month ago

I don't know I am.

Or how to feel.

I have not cried all the time yesterday and today.

Am I ok now? Or have I pushed it all away?

I don't know how to feel

op, my sympathies.There’s no one way to grieve, it’s so different for us all. It may come in waves.

I didn't cry until 8 weeks after my dad died, I was too busy with tiny kids and supporting my mum, eventually it came out. It was quite sudden, what happened to your dad? Do you want to talk about it?

I don't know that I can talk about it

I don't look at photos.

I don't like to think about it

I don't like to think about it but I'm worried I'm not crying all the time

I think I have to go back to work on Monday and I don't know to feel about it.
It might be good but also I don't know how I feel about it

I don't know how I feel

I lost mine a month ago too ❤️‍🩹

It’s okay not to cry every day, I don’t know if I could possibly have many tears left anymore! It feels so raw and all-consuming still, but you are allowed to smile and laugh too.

And I don't mind how I should be feeling

But I also know I'm not me like I was before either. All light and up and go

#don't know how I should be feeling

@NameChange1412 I'm so sorry for your loss as well xx

There’s no ‘should’ when it comes to grief, and no right or wrong way to grieve.

We’ll never feel the same again but it will get easier than this (it has to, it surely can’t get bloody worse!)

Only go back to work if you feel ready to.

I lost my lovely Dad a month ago too. I feel very flat and sad a lot of the time. It feels unbearable that I won't see him again. I do look at pictures and videos and it makes the longing worse.

Zero advice, but just to say you aren't alone .

Thank you I'm so sorry about yours as well @yummyscummymummy01

I feel like it's not happened

I am disconnected

I'm so confused

I am so sorry

I'm scared

I don't like not feeling anything

I mean I'm scared that this means I'm not bothered

I didn't want to feel pain but now nothing

@purpleme12
Hi, I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You may well still be in shock at the loss. Grief is complicated. I was disassociated after my father’s death. Not feeling anything is not unusual, it is the body’s coping mechanism. I didn’t see the point in anything for a long time but I just kept going. I think work is good to go to. I would suggest you be kind to yourself - that old cliche really stands up in bereavement. As someone else said there is no should in grief. Grief just is what it is. If you’ve never experienced significant loss before, you’re not going to understand how you’re feeling as it’s all new. I lost my mother and father in quick succession and it took me many months to feel anything. I just let the grief come when it arrived and carried on at other times. You will look at photos when the time is right.

There are some brilliant books and podcasts that can help process and understand your grief. Julia Samuel’s books and Griefcast podcast are just a couple I can suggest. Reach out to friends and loved ones for support. Things will get easier but it may take a long time.

A year on and I'm still struggling to look at photos. It's like the shock hasnt lifted. Seek some bereavement therapy. I've started it and though it's daunting, its nice to have someone completely impartial to vent to. Sending love xx

Thank you
I have avoided the photos still
I can get on with day to day stuff but it's different. Different to before
I feel more lonely

It's just me and my child I don't have a lot of people so if I don't shove it to the side I won't be able to do it

Op it’s fine to avoid photos, I couldn’t look at them for almost two years after a significant bereavement. Now I find them comforting. Time will help you, I know it’s a cliche but it’s true