My dad died

[purpleme12]

My dad died about a month ago

I don't know I am.

Or how to feel.

I have not cried all the time yesterday and today.

Am I ok now? Or have I pushed it all away?

I don't know how to feel

i’m so sorry for your loss.

Grief is utterly confusing. It’s such early days for you yet; you just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other at the moment. It’s very normal to not know how you feel. I felt like I was going mad at times when I was grieving for my parents. For me there was never any prolonged period of crying; it came in waves as they say. So I’d be hoovering and suddenly felt like I’d been winded as the reality hit me again. Made me gasp and then wail. Or when I was at the counter in a supermarket cafe and just started crying at the poor assistant who was lovely. I found myself saying out loud to a stranger ‘my dad has died’. And the time I thought I saw my mum in another supermarket. Actually there were lots of ‘sightings’ of both of them when I was out and about.

Those episodes would come out of nowhere- but were quite short lived; a lot of the time I was just bewildered and bumbling through the days. I’m ten years on and I hardly ever cry now- I wish I could because I think it’s healthy, but I’ve probably still got some un-dealt with grief bottled away.

You will move into and through your grief in your own way, and your life will grow around it, so it’s always with you. I’m not really the same person I was before, in a number of ways, and you might feel that too. It’s natural when someone so important has gone.

I’ve always loved this portrayal of grief. It rang true for me! Hang in there OP. 💐

Yes this made me cry 😢😢

Sometimes it's like I want to cry but can't

I shove it away sometimes

It's hard to know what's right and wrong

I'm so sorry about your mum and dad x

My Dad died 5 years ago & I still haven't cried. I'm on antidepressants & I have no feelings whatsoever, you could set a bomb off next to me & I wouldn't feel a thing. It doesn't mean I didn't love him, he was the best Dad ever & I worshipped him.

Thank you @purpleme12. Look after yourself. Grief can be so exhausting so you’ve got to prioritise your self care. X

I am sorry for the loss of your dear dad!
My wonderful, amazing dad died a few years ago! At first, it seemed unbelievable, I had the feeling, how can everything just go on and be the same without him! The hole in my heart, will always be there. I still get sad, when I hear some music or see things that reminds me of him, but is not as painful.
Be kind to yourself, however you are feeling now is the way it is. Theirs no right or wrong way to how you should feel! 😘🌸