Hand hold needed. My beloved mum is dying

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I am in intensive care with my wonderful mum as she battles double pneumonia from covid. The doctors say there is little hope but in her awake moments Mum tells me she is terrified to die, she doesn't want to close her eyes in case she dies, she isn't ready to die. I am distraught. She looks to me for reassurance and I hold her hand and tell her I love her. What else can I do? How can I help her? What can I expect? Im bereft, devastated, terrified. The thought of my best friend not being here anymore is breaking my heart.

Thank you for the book recommendation and all the support. Its amazing how strangers on mumsnet have helped me so much. My wonderful mum passed peacefully at 10pm surrounded by her family. I am utterly heartbroken. I am the most exhausted I have ever been. I dont even know where to start with next steps. I have two small boys and somehow need to gather myself for Christmas.

I dreaded opening this thread in case your lovely mum had passed away. I am so sorry. You are very lucky to have her and she was very lucky to have you. 💐💐💐

So very sorry to read you have lost your mum@Higgeldypiggeldy35.
Her spirit will keep you going every step of the way now and inspire you for the rest of your life. Life can be so cruel.x

I couldn't go past this thread without sending you some love and wishing you peace and acceptance. X

I'm so so sorry xxxxxx

So sorry, love. My mum passed 5 weeks ago love from one stranger to another x

(((Big Hugs)))

sadly, so many of us understand how you're feeling.

If you don't fancy eating it or doing all the work, have what you can face for Christmas - no rules that you can't have beans on toast or pasta.

Don't put yourself under any pressure

🤗

I’m so so sorry about your dear mum. It’s obvious from your words how much she means to you.

Sending much love to you and all your family. You’ll all be in our thoughts.

I'm so sorry, we lost our lovely mum to cancer in June. Sending love and hugs from one stranger to another ❤️

I am so so sorry that you have lost your wonderful mum. Please be at peace that you were there with her every step of the way on her last journey.

Sending love to you and yours xx

I'm so sorry. People think covid is over or someone else's responsibility.
Your lovely mum deserved better.
Don't feel as though you need to perform for Christmas, just take it easy and take breaks when you need them.

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Sorry to hear about your Mum - I’m sure you brought her a lot of comfort during her last few days. You sound like an amazing daughter.

Hope you get through the new few days ok, very difficult with young children that don’t really understand why Mummy is so upset x

I'm so so sorry.

Look after yourself as well as you can. Take breaks when you need them and as another poster said - don't 'perform' when you can't.

Thinking of you

I too dreaded opening this thread . I have been very moved by this post and I am in tears reading your update.

I am so sorry op to hear of your heartbreaking loss .
Your beautiful Mum is at peace now and you were with your best friend every step of the way. She knew that.
Be kind to yourself and take things minute by minute if you have to.
Sending you so much love and gentle hugs,
You are in my prayers and my thoughts,
xx

The love shining out of this thread is palpable. Sending you every bit of love at such a devastating time. You have handled this so beautifully for your mum. You have done everything she could have wanted. There's so much love there that will never go away.

I've no idea how Christmas will work through this year but you need to be kind to yourself. I'm so very sorry.

So very very sorry. Sending you love and hoping that you can find some rest over the next weeks. xx

OP no words to say except you’ve done your mum proud. You helped her right when she needed you most, you were there. The love you two shared can never die it will live on forever. Wishing you ease and kindness and care and peace. Xxxx

I am so sorry. I hope in time you can draw comfort from knowing how much it will have meant to your Mum, you being there and supporting her.
Sending you love xx

I'm so sorry. Christmas will be different, but focus on yourself, your Dad and your family. Do what you feel able to do.

I’m so terribly sorry OP
your DM would have known she was loved at the end, and this is so important
pleased she slipped away peacefully.

@Higgeldypiggeldy35
Condolences to you and I hope you manage to get through tomorrow.

It's terrible I know but just try to do a day at a time and if that is too much an hour at a time.

Thank you everyone. I am home. My wonderful husband and children have surrounded me in love and joy. My dad is staying with us for a few days. I cant bare to think of him alone in the house that reminds him of her everywhere he looks. He's bereft. I cant imagine how this pain ever gets any easier to stand.

So sorry to hear this, OP, but also relieved for you that that awful limbo didn’t drag on too long. It is totally exhausting. To be honest you may feel exhausted for quite a while (weeks or months) afterwards. Don’t push or pressure yourself. Take care.

Aah your poor dad. He’ll be in shock. Just be with each other.