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Bereavement

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Original poster

WAY - Widowed And Young - opinions please

28 replies

user1467799300 · 30/11/2023 13:31

How would you recommend WAY please. would like peoples opinion's on if this group has help them. I lost my husband in July he was just 40 years old and Im struggling.

OP posts:
Lizzbear · 30/11/2023 13:34

I'm very sorry for your loss. It must be extremely hard to lose someone that age.
My sister is widowed and has used WAY-UP
She said it was helpful to chat online to people in a similar situation.
She also went on some trips with them.
Give it a try!

Original poster
user1467799300 · 30/11/2023 16:38

Thank you, appreciate your reply.

OP posts:
Quickquestion10 · 30/11/2023 16:39

So sorry for your loss. I've heard really good things about the group.

ForestofBears · 30/11/2023 22:24

I highly recommend WAY. I joined 2 years ago after it was recommended to me here and it has been really helpful. Meeting and hearing from people who have been through the same thing and understand is invaluable, because, even if you have great friends and family, they can’t really get the grief. I will say that I did nearly leave when I first joined because on their Facebook groups people were posting about how much they were still struggling months and years later and I wanted hope that it would get easier (it’s been 2 years since DH died and I can tell you my grief is not as all-consuming as it was, it’s still really hard but not like it was 2 years ago), but I am really glad I stayed because the support I get from there is invaluable. I am so sorry that you are eligible to join, it really is a group no one wants to be in, but I hope it helps.

Henowner · 30/11/2023 22:37

I was part of WAY after my husband died. We had an amazing local group and went on many trips and meals out. It was so helpful to be around people who'd been through exactly the same thing as me, some with young children, some with older children. Our group petered out when one of the leaders got remarried, but even if you're able to join up with national events I'd recommend it 💐

Original poster
user1467799300 · 01/12/2023 10:04

Thank you

OP posts:
claireymrsd · 02/12/2023 14:11

Thank you for posting as I had been thinking the same as have heard about WAY.
My husband died in October, he was 50 but I am only 44.

PermanentTemporary · 02/12/2023 14:15

I signed up but didn't stay part of it beyond a year or go on trips - I felt that I was experiencing my bereavement differently from those who were posting online - maybe it would have been better if I'd gone to the meet ups. I was very glad it was there though.

I have a friend who lost her husband very young, she was only in her late 30s. She got great good from Way and recommended them to me.

Hardtimesnow · 08/12/2023 14:28

Hi, does anyone know, is it usual that you would be asked to show the death certificate when joining Way up? I gave some bits of information but was surprised by this request.

Chasingsquirrels · 08/12/2023 14:32

I found it very helpful. I joined very quickly after DH died and connected with a few people online. I also went to a local meet up and met a couple of ladies at a similar point to myself. I went to a few meet ups, but also met separately with the 2 ladies I met at the beginning.

Candleabra · 08/12/2023 14:37

I found it useful. even if you don’t engage much it’s nice to know you’re not alone.
(And yes, unfortunately it’s usual to have to show the death certificate- there are scammers out there who could prey on vulnerable grieving people)

Evenstar · 08/12/2023 14:39

It was invaluable to me, I met people who understood and my children also benefited from meeting other children who were bereaved. I used the chat room online, went out for meals and went on weekends away and to their AGM’s.
I still have many WAY friends all over the country and we are still there for each other when there is a “bump in the road”. At the beginning it gave me great hope to meet others further on the journey. Do give it a try.

Colinthedaxi · 08/12/2023 14:41

I was in WAY for several years, like any group you will meet some people who will become your tribe and others you’ll cross the road to avoid 🤣. I met some lovely people and went on one great trip abroad, without WAY I wouldn’t have the job I have now either. I don’t think the legal advice line was there when I first joined, that could have been very useful to me.

I wasn’t asked for a death cert when I joined WAY in 2016 but they did have problems with someone (maybe more than one person) who was not widowed joining.

I’m now married to someone else and feel
I've moved on but I do still recommend WAY to others.

Evenstar · 08/12/2023 14:41

@Hardtimesnow I believe that is usual now yes, it is to ensure that people are genuinely widowed as there were a couple of incidents where some men joined who had ulterior motives and they weren’t widowers.

hpsaucy · 08/12/2023 14:43

I found it useful. I didn't use the local groups but was part of the FB groups.

I didn't renew my membership this year as I feel like I'm on a different path of my bereavement now, I'm nearly 4 years in.

Hardtimesnow · 08/12/2023 15:01

Thanks all for your answers, that would make sense @Candleabra, @Evenstar .
I am very recently bereaved @Chasingsquirrels and although I’m being offered support by family and friends I feel I really need to chat to people who can really relate to how losing a partner feels.

Chasingsquirrels · 08/12/2023 15:04

Hardtimesnow that is completely understandable. It is a shit place to be, and whilst friends and family do their best sometimes those connections with others in similar situations really help as well.
I would definitely say join, and I hope you get something from it.

Evenstar · 08/12/2023 15:19

@Hardtimesnow there may also be local groups you can access, the difficulty can be the higher age profile, but I help run a bereavement support group at my church. It’s completely free and you don’t need to be a church goer so it may be worth looking around.

Our local hospice keeps a list of local groups too, but I would definitely encourage you to try WAY as well.

DrowsyDragon · 08/12/2023 15:37

I'm 37 and my husband died this year at 36. A bereaved acquaintance really recommended WAY but i found it hasn't really worked for me and I think it depends on your area. My area seems to have a lot of going to see mediums which is really really not for me. I think it's well worth a try though, especially if you are struggling. I am so sorry for your loss

Hardtimesnow · 08/12/2023 17:42

So sorry to hear that @DrowsyDragon , that’s so young. My husband was in his fifties, still too young. I wouldn’t be interested in mediums either.

DrowsyDragon · 08/12/2023 17:54

@Hardtimesnow thank you. He was very very mental unwell before dying so it was a rough road and I have two very small children at home. I think its so hard whenever though once you think some one is going to be there your whole life.

Matildahoney · 08/12/2023 18:07

Sorry for your loss, I lost my DH 6 years ago now, I was 35, him nearly 40. I hated all those sorts of groups, yes it's bloody awful, but I found it then mopey and woe is me type conversations, which IMO and for me were not helpful at all. I then saw a bereavement counsellor who I felt like she didn't really understand, and eventually just got through it with the support of family and friends. What works for one person doesn't work for everyone else!

PermanentTemporary · 09/12/2023 07:06

If it was relevant to you, I was told about SOBS (survivors of bereavement through suicide) but I have to say I never contacted them at all.

I was lucky enough to be able to pay for actual psychotherapy, which helped keep me very roughly stable through the bereavement period and unpicked a lot of things I needed to think about.

Original poster
user1467799300 · 09/12/2023 08:47

I haven't been asked to do this

OP posts:
Bbic · 09/12/2024 23:26

Hi, only noticed this thread and wondered how user 467799300 has got on since posting as l've now found myself in this situation. Thanks

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