OK this is morbid and anticipatory - but I am in a quandrey

[KatyMac]

My Nana is very poorly
She is 91, has Altziemers and fell down a flight of stairs (at her EMI home)last Saturday

She is still in 'shock' and it looks like she might die

I am a bit ambivalent about that as I'm not sure she has any quality of life & she doesn't even recognise me when I go in so it might be a 'good' thing iyswim

But as favoured (& only) granddaughter I have always been told I was inheriting her piano & I don't know if I want it

It will take a lot of space, DD has a very nice keyboard (with proper keys - whatever they are - but I remember it was important when we bought it)

& feel ungrateful because I should want it - but I really don't

It has always been some vague point in the future before but now it seems imminent & I'm panicking

Oh Hell I'm not even sure why I'm posting - it's a particularly evil shade of bright gold wood

whats an emi home?

Elderly Mentally Infirm - home for old people with Alzheimer's

Maybe try to think of a charity she would have liked to donate it to - a local church, music group, old folks' home...?

maybe the home would like it? you could donate in her name

I think she intended for me to take up the piano again 'in later life' like she did

Which does appeal - a bit I guess

God I am a cow trying to decide about my inheritance before she even dies

you are not a cow

why not think about donating it to the home? is it a nice home? does your gran like the home?

I guess I need to discuss it with DD (&DH I suppose)

I wonder if I can make the bright gold a bit duller

u sound a tad selish in my opinion

u sound a tad selish in my opinion

It's not selfish to not want what amounts to a large piece of furniture which you don't like and goes with nothing you have. Sell it and buy something you do like in memory of your nan.

My grandma gave me atruly hideous pot pourri urn. I shoved it somewhere out of sentimentality but then thought "it's mad!", sold it at auction and spent the proceeds on Emma Bridgewater stuff which I did like. The item is now being enjoyed by someone who loves it and I have some stuff I like to remember my grandma by.

oh what a dilemma

sorry but the last thing i was thinking of wen my grandparents were dying was my inheritence and what to do with it.

Maybe you are in shock yourself and this is your way of preparing yourself for the inevitable and that as she has altziemers you have probably grieved for her alot already.

Still, not the best taste do discuss inheritence when she hasnt even dropped off the mortal coil and worrying about the the colour..

i totally agree Awen its not at all nice

You do not have to take it honey, the memory is with your beloved Gran,..not her stuff.

if you do not want it to be sold in the fullness of time, then make some enquiries with local small schools/village halls/even churches who may be delighted to received it. If not, then when the time comes, just let it go and put up her photo somewhere instead.

I had a similar situation to deal with.

Inheriting a funny coloured piano is hardly so scary an idea that it necessary to obsess about inheritance before a loved one has even gone.

Well we will need to empty her room at the home 3 days after she dies - so I need to make a plan for then

I grieved for Nana months/years ago when she stopped recognising me & DD; My Nana - the one I love & remember left several years ago. The old lady that is left is violent, aggressive and doesn't even acknowledge her sons, never mind grand & great-grand children

Anyway DH & I have talked it over and he is getting rid of some of his stuff so we can fit it in the lounge while we decide if we are going to keep it or not

If we don't make room for it when she dies it would have to be got rid of; at least by anticipating it we can re-organise for it

To be fair u did come on this bereavment site asking for advice. Me im a very loyal type of person,if i was in ur situation i would be thanking the lord she still here! I just think the last thing on ur mind should be a piano. Or maybe ur posting it on the wrong thread?

I would imagine you are shocked and upset about her injury Katy and need to think through / talk over all the aspects and consequences of her possible death

I don't think you are selfish or odd at all

Having had a relative with advanced dementia and also serious illness, I don't think it is necessarily being "loyal" to that person to think "thank God they're still here" in this situation.

Hell both I, my family & the local Vicar are all praying for a swift death & have been for over 2 yrs

Thanks Franny & the other who understand

Hey,thats u and this is me. You have to get on with things my mother cared for my Grandmother all the way through to the end and she wasnt herself at the end but we all knew this. Katymac is in a dilemma what should she do with the piano?

Katymac i understand you. I think bb and Awen are being a little harsh. we all deal with things like this in different ways. It's not like she's saying "I wish Granny would hurry up and "go" so I can get hold of the filthy lucre she promised me" is it now ?

Aw katymac you sound all over the place {hug}, I think you have done the right thing making the space for it.

Altzheimer's is terrible for the people who still care about a person who doesn't remember them anymore and can be painfully rude to them.

It will still hit you though you know, even though you feel you have already grieved.