Identical twin headstone wording

[charleymouse]

I have searched for help on this but think it is an unusual circumstance. DT1 died after only nine hours of life, after thinking througout my pregnancy they were non-identical it turned out they were in fact identical. I have just about got the strength now to arrange a headstone for his grave but am struggling a bit.

He is in adult sized plot so DH and I can join him eventually. Therefore we need to allow room for two further inscriptions. The stone is likely to be york stone as all the graves nearby are this material and we are planning on a flower/vase bit (not sure of correct term) to one side. The shape I have provisionally chosen is rectangular with a roof line/sloping top.

I have decided not to put grandparents names on but should I put grandson/great grandson on? Also funeral director thought I shouldn't mention his twinness although think this was more due to him not coming across it before. It is usual to put siblings in order of age.

I do not want to upset DD who is PFB or DT2 jut not sure what to do for the best. Any advice thoughts gratefully received.

I saw the funeral directors last week and so far I have got:

Benjamin Peter Surname
Precious son of Dads name & Mums name
Brother to Annabel & George
Died 3 April 2007
Aged nine hours

Thanks for reading and if you are viewing this topic due to a loss of your own so sorry for your loss and be reassured it will get easier.

Charley - just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I like Hula's wording, for what it's worth.

So very sorry for your loss.

Hula, I'm dead hard but your words have brought tears to my eyes.

((charleymouse))

Would you want to put the time of birth and death as well as the date on it?
eg born 9th April 2007 at xxhxxmins
Died 9th April 2007 at xxh xxm?

I would not be too swayed by your undertaker. As a mum of twins, their twin ness is very important so would echo others advice.

I am very sorry for your loss - unimaginable.

I can't imagine how difficult all this is, and how cruel it is that you even have to be thinkin about all this

I think you have lovely words there. This is almost the same as has been suggested but you could have "younger brother to Annabel and identical twin to George"

It is difficult to know with regards to grandparents etc. I think that they would understand if they were not there in that it is a relationship that does not need to be verbalised if you know what I mean - they know and you know that they are loving grandparents. My brother died when he was 12 and his headstone just mentioned my parents and me - not because we were cutting out grandparents but because it was understood that he was loved by all the family and we just wanted to specify really immediate family.
lots of love to you - this is a hard thing to do but I know that my mum also found that it was almost soothing in that she was able to do something for her beloved LO x

Hi Charleymouse

We are in the same situation in that one of our Twin Boys died Feb 07 from Sids.

We only now have felt able to sort a headstone for him and it is also a family plot, however we have chosen a small headstone as hopefully it will be long time before any of us join him.

We have put his brothers names and Twin to ...

I felt I had to make everyone aware he was a twin as I always felt 'special' to have them if that makes sense

HTH and alll the best

May well be a bit late to this, so sorry to hear of little Benjamin.

My first baby was stillborn so in the course of coping with that I have come across several people who have lost a twin. I too agree that his "twin-ness" is important.

One ofmy friends who lost a twin chose to have the following inscribed on his headstone (it always makes me cry) - the shape is Noah's ark and it says
"they came two by two"

It just seems to apt for little twins.