Inheritance when no written will

[gallop]

my mother in law passed away a few months ago. she did not leave a will but had jewellery (diamonds etc) worth at least £300k. She meant to leave it for her 2 daughters but the last two years or so of her life she was increasingly annoyed with them as she felt they were not giving her the care she expected. So she told DH in private (verbally) that she wants all her jewellery to be given to charity after she's gone. She didn't want her daughters to know while she was alive as she didn't want them to treat her worse for it. Anyway now she is gone and the daughters want to share the £300k among themselves. DH wants to give it in charity but there is no written will. Personally, I think the daughters should have it as they are not all that well off. But DH insists his mom's wish has to be met but it was a wish the mom told him in private. The siblings have developed great bitterness towards each other now. Any thoughts as to how this issue can be resolved?

Oh this is a tricky one ..... maybe split it 50/50, charity and SILs.

Just wondering but is there anything for DH to inherit. Or only to the DD?

Sorry for your loss - and also sorry MIL didn't leave a Will.
Dying without a will is called dying intestate, and the law decides how the deceased's estate is divided. Look it up online, I'm not sure of the process but there certainly is one. You won't be able to divvy it up how you choose.

Your husband can't do that.

Follow the gov.uk check list about who should inherit. LINK HERE

It has to be split according to that and that's all there is to think about. If you MIL wanted differently then she should have written a will.

You'll get loads of answers based on English law OP, because most people on this site forget that law is different in other parts of the UK, and indeed around the world.

Where did your MIL live?

If Scotland, you cannot disinherit your children even with a written will.

Wherever MIL lived, there will likely be a due process to follow for people who die intestate. You won't be able to just decide amongst yourselves.

Looking online they need to follow the intestacy process. Really if she wanted the jewellery to go to charity she should have written a will.

www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

This is bizarre. She should have written a will. If I was one of the sisters I would not be happy with my brother telling me that my mum wanted 300k to go to charity. I might not believe him tbh. Has she left anything else, e.g. property? Where is that going?

If I was the brother and my mum had told me that I would probably suggest a small amount went to charity - 10k or something, and the rest was shared between all the siblings according to rules of intestacy. Is her husband still alive? That changes things.

Yes and OPs should take that into account and mention if it is a country that isn't England and Wales.

That link that @HotWithNoRain shared gives information for all of the different UK countries. As above, the main point is that there is a legal process to follow, the family can't just decide what to do.

I don't know about the legal side of this but it seems very petty of your MIL to say this about her own daughters, unless they were abusing her in some way, though it sounds as though they were just not spending as much time with her as she wanted, perhaps they were busy with their work, children?

If she didn't make a will stating her wishes, if I was one of her daughters I don't think I would believe your DH's claims now. If he wants to have a decent relationship with his sisters himself, the best thing might be to let them split the jewellery and let sleeping dogs lie.

Hopefully if they have the jewellery then he has something of equal value?

There’s a legal process to follow when there’s no will.

Your DH can give whatever he gets from that to charity if he wishes. It’s not up to him to decide what his sisters should do with their shares.

Honestly if I was the daughter I wouldn't be happy to forfeit £150k based on what my brother was telling me, when there was absolutely no proof.

Your DH needs to follow the legal process for intestacy.

If the inheritors - presumably him and any siblings - then want to do something else with their share that's fine.

He should also be prepared for the diamonds to be worth a lot less now than they were new.

The diamonds and other assets don't belong to your brother to dispose of.

Doesn't matter what she said in private, she should have put it in a will.

Her Estate should be disposed of for the equal benefit of all legal recipients.

Ahh okay, so England and Wales are the default countries, and Scotland and NI are just extras tagging along? Thanks for letting me know that. For some stupid reason I had thought that we were in a union of equals.

Sorry for the slight derail OP. All the best sorting the will out amicably.

If I were one of the daughters, I'd be quite miffed to learn that my DM decided to disinherit me on the basis of something said privately with no witnesses.

The 'didn't give the care expected' is also quite grating. Did she have reasonable expectations of what her daughters would do? Was her son doing all of it? Or was it the usual 'my daughters should do everything' with no concept of what might be happening in their lives or what was realistic.

Ooh, chip on shoulder there, Gingerwright!
Mumsnet is a UK website. There are over 60 million English and Welsh people, and only 5 million Scots. The Scots have a completely different legal system, and many English posters are not aware of that. So it’s important to warn OP that any legal advice from posters probably relates only to English law. That is not belittling the Scots.
For the record, I live in Scotland and my DH died young and intestate, so I am aware of the differences.

Your DH doesn't get a say in what happens except to his own share.
If she wanted the jewellery to go to charity then she needed to write this in a will. She didn't therefore the only rules that apply are the law that applies when dying intestate.

Intestacy laws apply.

If she wanted it that much mil should have written a will. Otherwise equal split between all beneficiaries as decreed by law.

(Bitter experience borne out my my own dmum refusing to write a will but dictating verbally and frequently to all and sundry how she wanted her assets split (shares to dc and dgc) then dying very unexpectedly - dgc on one side wont see a penny whilst the others have been given their share unofficially)

@Babdoc yep, that is what I did. I warned OP just in case she wasn't from England. Another poster then told me that I wasn't to expect people to think that Scotland and NI were worthy of consideration on a UK site.

I do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder I admit. It comes of long experience of Scotland being treated as inferior in many (not all) situations. I'm just trying to draw people's attention to it in a hopefully not too rude way, so that more people are aware it feels crap to be ignored. I realise it comes from a lack of awareness rather than anything deliberately nasty, but shouldn't we draw attention to ignorance when it hurts people, so that everyone can be more understanding?

Your mil sounds manipulate, she didn't get the care she wanted off them. You don't demand care of your children depends whay they have going on in their lives and then say something to your dh and not put it in writing makes your dh the bad guy here instead of her which is massively unfair to him.

Thanks all- I too agree that the only rules that apply are the laws that apply when dying intestate. My MIL was quite wealthy so she bought her three children houses soon after they left university and helped them financially in many ways afterwards. But during the last years, she felt less looked after, left alone with carers with daughters coming in every other week (they lived in the neighbourhood). So DH left his job to be with mom during the last 6 months. For all this, I still feel the daughters should share the £300k. But then there's the near death-bed wish that haunts him.

It doesn't actually matter what your husband or you think. The law kicks in and there's nothing you can do about it. It's very sad that your MIL felt her own daughters weren't making an effort, but then she didn't make the effort to write her will, either, so maybe what she was saying to your husband was said in anger and sadness but she had no intention of actually writing them out of her will.

@PrimalOwl10 hmm... possibly...it didn't cross my mind...

Be warned that intestacy can take a long time if in England/Wales. Notices have to be placed inviting any other children etc. that your MIL may have had to come forward in local and national press before anything can happen for a start.
If the Estate really is worth £300k (anyone had the jewellery valued?) it would be sensible to appoint a solicitor who specialises in family law.