Strange events since my mum died

[FatAgain]

Just want to preface this by saying I am a complete cynic, a total atheist and having see my mums body I am absolutely under no illusions.

but something odd just happened.

I was having a crafty nap and I woke up because somebody has just been in to check on me and as they left, the door closed softly. It was definitely open when I went for a read.

it wasn’t my husband and son - they were gardening and haven’t been in the house.

it’s so comforting….. yet….. I don’t believe in this sort of thing. But somebody definitely came to check on me.

At the same time a blackbird who always appears when I’m upset outside was, according to my husband, hopping along the bedroom window sill. In fact he had taken a photo to show me and it’s time stamped as the same time I woke up.

the door was closed properly and it didn’t swing shut, no breeze, nothing.

odd?

I believe I had a conversation with my DM two days after she died. She died 23rd December so it was Christmas morning, I was in total shock and just going through the motions of preparing a Christmas dinner I didn't want but as all the stuff was there I was cooking it. It had been a regular thing for us to eat Sunday dinner together then discuss whatever was on our minds over the washing up. As I stood at the sink a conversation took place in my head, it wasn't out loud but I feel sure it wasn't my imagination although I know that is the only explanation that makes logical sense. It felt both strange as she was dead and perfectly normal for us to be talking as I washed up. Amongst other things she told me she would look out for my disabled son when I couldn't, it was the best Christmas present I could have had as what happens to him as I get older was my biggest fear. Ten years on I still believe it happened and that there are many things like this that we don't understand.

It has happened to me. There is an explanation for it:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/seeing-hearing-or-sensing-someone-who-has-died/

I'm on the general woo side because of stuff I've experienced in my life. I think your Mum just came back for a short time to let you know she was OK and was watching over you and the blackbird knew it. Rejoice in that and remember it xxxx

Christmas is such an awful time to lose somebody - my mum died at Christmas as well.

That sounds wonderful. I do know what you mean - I had a one line answer to a question I asked my mum a few weeks back, it came out of the blue very clearly and was in my head in the same was as when you hear somebody speak to you IRL. Is that how it was for you?

Thankyou! I’m going to read this x

That’s lovely OP. I’d give my right arm to believe in things like this- so comforting.

I’ve also lost my mum in the last couple of months. I think the door thing was probably a dream and the bird thing was probably just a bird. Who knows though?
My mum had an agonising and painful last week and I found it traumatic. The day after my mum died, I was sitting somewhere my mum used to sit in a place special to us, the rain clouds went, the sun came out and a beautiful rainbow appeared. I know it was just weather but it felt so symbolic. It lifted me and brought me comfort, like she was there with me or sending me a message that she was happier now.

Yes it sounds similar, it felt like a normal conversation when it was actually completely extraordinary. I often have imaginary conversations where I'm anticipating a meeting with someone or thinking back on how a conversation might have gone if only I had said xyz but it wasn't like that.

I'm an atheist but don't see it as linked

I think your mum was just passing through and wanted to see you, which is cool.

@Vallmo47 that’s the thing, I don’t believe in anything. At all. And yet….as the MN saying goes….here I am!

@magimedi Yes, it was very comforting although I am looking for a logical explanation

I have lost a deeply loved parent recently. I understand this sort of thinking, but personally, I don’t think it’s real, but a way our brains and bodies try to find some comfort. And particularly when you’d been asleep during the day and woke up.

I think all of us are non believers until something like this happens.

What a warm comforting thing to happen to you.

I'm glad it was comforting, but the reality is that you dreamt it.

That would normally be my response too, But I woke up as the door was closing. I heard it and I was awake. And the door was wide open beforehand. It closed softly like when you’re checking on your kids. I ran downstairs and said thanks to my husband for checking on me and he said they hadn’t been near the house. It’s just odd.

I just can’t find an explanation for it.

Sorry for your loss, it’s truly shit. My mum died only five months ago but I feel so so much better already and I would say o am coping really well considering we were incredibly close and she died way too young.

The hard sharp grief does ease x

I don’t believe you dreamt this OP. I am not remotely religious but I do think there are things we don’t yet understand. I have experienced similar things on a fair few occasions.
Im very sorry for your loss but what you described is so what a mother would do if she was worried about her child. How beautiful.

Mine died 7 months ago. I’m able to work and do all my normal things for children etc. I can laugh and enjoy things. I can remember things in a (teary) happy way. But there is an underlying dark, heavy pain that takes my breath away at times. Just anger, loss, disbelief. I feel cheated that they were so young. Overall I think this is as good as I can expect to feel at this point for a loss of someone so amazing, and I’m grateful for that. Sorry to everyone who has found themselves in this position.

I've always been a complete cynic as well but I've started to think a bit differently now My Mum died last July and I thought my heart would break but a number of strange things have happened since.

I'm an atheist but my mum was always quite religious. About a week after she died I opened the drawer where I keep several pairs of glasses and nothing else, and found a very old copy of the New Testament at the front of the drawer, which I'd never seen before. There's only my and my husband living here and he knew nothing about it. My mum had been hospitalised for a long time and then in a care home because she had severe dementia so hadn't been to my house for some time. Then the white feathers started - they were everywhere. I vaguely remembered that they had some symbolism, particularly in christianity. I kept finding them several times a week In all sorts of places for several months before they started to tail off. But I had a recent scare with my blood pressure shooting up to a ridiculously high level, and the feathers started to appear again and I could feel my mums presence. But I think the strangest thing has been the photos on my phone. I've got several thousand photos on my phone, very few of which were of my mum. I assume all iPhones are the same and show a random photo on the page to the left of the home page when you turn it on, or that's what mine has always done. On Christmas Day I opened my phone to send a message to a friend, swiped to the left to the search bar, and there was a lovely photo of my Mum which I took on her 80th birthday. I'd been dreading my first Christmas without her and I found it really comforting. The picture has popped up many times since.

It really has made me think again about things.

@Growlybear83 yes, the white feathers. when my dad died 6 months ago, the feathers started about 4 days afterwards. Quite a few feathers in a short period of time, crescendoed then they gradually tailed off. Get the odd one now - yesterday for example when I was going to a funeral. Did you find out whether they have a specific meaning?

I’m a cynic and an atheist too, but I love reading stories like yours and I think anything that gives you comfort is absolutely to be cherished.

I lost my mum a couple of months ago and when I went to sit with her coffin, I told her I loved her, and suddenly the light started flashing and then flickering and it carried on throughout the visit. I wanted to ask the funeral place if the bulb was faulty but I didn’t and now too much time has passed to ask them but it still bothers me. It doesn’t comfort me as I feel like it was my mum trying to tell me she’s still there and don’t cremate her

Oh no, please don't think of it like that. Try to think that it was your Mum finding a way of letting you know that she loved you to, and letting you know that she was looking out for you. Although I've felt quite spooked by things that have happened, I've also found it really comforting. I'm sorry for your loss - it must still be very raw at this stage.

My partner of 5 years died 6 months ago - he didn't live with me. I've had four really vivid (1 really confusing) dreams of him but also there have been three occasions, the most recent only last week, when i've been in bed and the bed has dipped down as if someone had leant on it to give me a kiss or sat on the end. I was awake each time. The last time, the bed dipped twice as if someone had lain down with me. I do believe in an afterlife, that the human body and soul is SO complex, it can't just stop and disappear, and truly hope that its him letting me know he's OK and still checking on me every now and then.

I’ve also experienced the ‘light flashing’ after my mum’s death 6 months ago. I stayed in her flat between her death and the funeral and every morning the bathroom light flickered and flashed while I was taking a shower. I am the least ‘woo’ person on the planet but I do believe it was her way of saying that she was looking out for me. I am back in her flat this week doing a final sort out before it’s sold and the bathroom light hasn’t flickered once. Nobody has been in the flat bar the estate agent and viewers, the bulb hasn’t been changed. Is there a rational explanation? Probably. But I’m strangely comforted by the experience.

Yes I’ve had these kinds of things happen. I do think there’s something ‘after’. I was also a cynic until I moved into an extremely old cottage. I’ve seen some things that can’t be unseen and definitely change the way you view death.

I didn't believe in any of this sort of stuff, but after my DH died several things happened which I couldn't explain. The weirdest was almost losing his wedding ring a few weeks after he died – I flung my hand out while doing laundry and it slipped off my finger with quite a force. I heard it bounce on the floor, then against the wall, and then on the floor again and instantly dropped to the ground to try and find it. Got up, got my phone to use as a torch, got down again, couldn't;'t find it, stood up again – and felt the weight of it fall into the pocket of my dress. And sure enough there it was. It's the strangest thing that's ever happened to me.