To send a card? Present for child?

[Crybaby96]

Just heard some sad news that my dd friends baby sister has died. I don't know the parents very well just to say hello. Was thinking of sending a sympathy card and maybe a little present for dd friend age 5. Maybe a little craft set/ colouring book or something for her to do and a card. Is that an OK thing to do or just stick to a card for the family?

I would probably just stick to the card personally.

I think that’s a really lovely thing to do.

I think because it's the death of a child I'm a bit unsure.

If you knew them or her better I would consider a little memory box ?

A card but not a present. Presents are for celebrations.

You sound like a lovely person and I think it's a wonderful idea.

Is you our DD good enough friends that a play date would go well?

My younger brother was 5 when our mum died (me and other brothers were late teens/early 20s) and honestly the best thing for him was getting out of the house and being able to have fun away from the cloud of despair. If you were wanting to make a gesture offering to take DD for a few hours to the park or soft play might be appreciated.

I second the idea of a memory box....

Just send a sympathy card. Not a present. Presents are for celebrations. Definitely not appropriate.

A memory box seems to be over stepping really. I'm very surprised by that suggestion. An offer of having dd's friends over sounds most appropriate.

Offer a playdate.

Maybe just pop your number in the card and offer to have their daughter over to yours to play with your DD any time they like. They may want time on their own or just to have their DD in a more cheerful environment when they and all close family are grieving

I’d just do a card, and pop a note in with your number on and offer a playdate. A present is strange a it’s not a celebration. Absolutely don’t do a memory box.

You lot are fucking bonkers. A memory box for the kid of a family your barely know???

Card and invite round for tea. Don't be a weirdo.

Having been in that position a card from someone I didn't know very well was welcome, a memory box would not have been.

One person has suggested it and a few others of us have said no, so no the lot of us aren’t ‘fucking bonkers’. This isn’t the AIBU board.

Definitely not a memory box! As PP suggested, a card with your number and an offer of childcare would be best. Both thoughtful and practical.

A card with your phone number in it offering a playdate/babysitting/school pick up or drop. A memory box is way too personal given your limited relationship. Equally a gift is not appropriate in the circumstances.

That's so sad. A card would be appropriate. You could offer to have their child for a few hours, but they may want to keep her close and the child may not want to leave her family.

Please don’t do a memory box, it’s extremely personal and kindly, not your place to do it.

My baby daughter died and my little boy was 2 and a half. Some friends sent him activity books and those little painting books you do with a water pen. I thought it was lovely of them and it gave me something to easily entertain him with when I needed time away or a bit of quiet etc. I think anything like that which doesn’t require parental supervision would be a great idea, in those early days after the death carrying on being a parent is bloody hard!! X

I think a colouring book is actually quite a good idea if your dd’s friend is around 2-6 years old. It’s a new item that will hold the child’s attention and not require must adult input. That can be a really useful thing when the adults in the house are struggling.
I’d put a note on it with something like ´I thought X might like a new colouring book for when you need a bit of calm. We’d love to have her over to play with DD anytime so if you need someone to babysit just let us know’

I think a card from your family to theirs and an activity book from your DD to her friend would be lovely.

No different to sending flowers to an adult.

I would offer a play date / to babysit

I would say a card to the family and offer of play date. You can put a direct message to, or reference to, the little friend in the card alongside the condolences to the family as a whole. I don’t think I would send a card directly to such a young child in that circumstance. I also wouldn’t personally offer a present, but whatever you choose to do I think your thoughtfulness and practical support will be appreciated.

A card for the family, include your number maybe if they don't already have it.
I don't think a gift is appropriate, and absolutely not to a memory box given that you are not close, this is way over stepping.