My partner of 16 years died a few days before Christmas. The last few years of our relationship has been hard due to his addiction issues and at the time of his death he wasn't in our family home. I feel a huge amount of guilt over this- the one time I try a different strategy to help him and this happens.
I'm heartbroken and whilst I would love a sign from him that he's at peace and that he loves me I'm so daftly terrified and really embarrased by what I'm about to type. I've never had any type of mental health issues or a loss before but all of a sudden I'm scared of ghosts and monsters. I can't sleep when its dark and I'm lying awake all night scared to move and scared to close my eyes. I want him to come to me but not in a way that frightens me and I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I feel silly at my age being scared of stuff like this.
Has anyone else been through this and if yes how did you get through it? Any advice would be appreciated. I have young children and I don't want to consider sleeping tablets or anything like that. I just want to stop being frightened on a night.