Unexpected death

[unexpectedsis]

I don't even know what to do at the minute - the police found my lovely 24 year old sister dead in her flat last night from an apparent overdose. She had a lot of mental health issues but she was doing so well and I just can't believe it. How are you meant to cope in these situations?
I'm only 22 myself and she's my only sibling - I have never even been to a funeral before, I can't believe I will have to bury my best friend.
I have three children and I'm trying so hard to be strong for them but I can't think straight. How do I make this funeral special for her? She was a devout Christian.

Thanks so much for reading.

@Newusernameaug Thank you so much for your response. She suffered from asthma but said that they would have found traces if she'd died from it (very dusty house too, she wasn't a fan of cleaning) and she was vaccinated for the flu/COVID booster around 6 weeks ago. I just can't believe they didn't find anything at all, I was convinced they would have been able to establish a cause.

I’m so sorry
This leaves you with so many questions.
What made you think it was an overdose initially? I think you’ll have to be patient as having answers in the long term will help you to grieve. I’m so sorry:(

So sorry @unexpectedsis

Toxicology reports can take 6 weeks alas. Due to my work it's something I've experienced quite a bit and it will delay things unfortunately. Funerals tend to takes weeks now usually.

Many people find it comforting to think they are with God, and if that's her belief please contact your local church for support arranging the funeral - I make house visits usually to discuss what you would like to include and it's really flexible. We also are there ongoing for you, I have people contact me months, years after the funeral and I sit with them. Your children are mercifully too young to realise, if you feel up to it, why not make a memory book both for yourself and so you can tell them about their lovely aunt in years to come? Some people find it helpful to be doing something.

If you need any specific advice on arranging a Church of England funeral (in church or at another venue) please privately message me, I doubt I'm local to you but can get you in touch with someone who is.

So sorry once again, hug those little ones tightly and remember the good times

@Panic71 Thanks for your message, we suspected an overdose because when she was found her phone contained a lot of searches for codeine - they couldn't find any medications near to her but I think they just connected the two and guessed she might have overdosed.

@ggogohmm Thanks so much for responding. I didn't realise it took such a long time for toxicology - I think I naively assumed it would take a day or two and they would know everything but now I know that's not the case. That's such a lovely suggestion in regards to the memory book, I think I will definitely start something like that to keep me busy and to show my girls when they grow up. She struggled with her mental health a lot but was doing really well recently - I think that's what hurts the most, if she just died in her sleep she never had the chance to really recover and show herself she could do whatever she set her mind to. She'd just started a new job too, her first one ever and we were all so bloody proud of her.