Mum has just died

[onyx12]

I'm in a bit of a daze. Mum passed away yesterday morning. Death had been coming - advanced cancer - and I have spent the last few weeks mentally preparing and saying goodbye. But now in the quietness and stillness of night the horror of the last 12-18 hours keeps playing over in my mind - truly awful. I need right now just to be able to sleep ~ but I can't switch off the images

Am so sorry. Am hoping that her last hours were peaceful for her even if dreadful for you . 💐Xx

So sorry for your loss 💐

I'm so very sorry OP. What an awful time for you. Sending lots of love. ❤️

@onyx12 I'm so sorry 🤗

When my dad died it was like having a video playing in my head. I couldn't switch it off.

you need to eat & drink, even though you don't feel like it. I didn't at first, I just couldn't not face it, but a friend brought over some club sandwiches that she'd made. She'd cut them into tiny bite sized pieces and it made it so easy to eat without being overwhelmed, she made a jug of Ribenna & gave me a small glass, she just made it doable,

think of a really nice memory & keep replaying it in your head.

she'll never 'not be here' as long as she's in your heart!

So sorry for your loss 💐

Huge sympathy. My Dad died this year, and it's been surreal/intensely painful/unbelievable/a relief (for their pain to be gone) all at once. 6 months later I'm still at the point of simply trying to get my head around the fact that it actually happened, even though it was expected. Take lots and lots of time to take it in. I organised my Dad's funeral and part of it was getting together a slideshow of photos. I felt so worried about this, that I couldn't cope with looking at them, but actually it was so helpful. I framed my favourite one and talk to him every day. 💐

i'm sorry

I'm so sorry, holding your hand through this and hoping the happy memories will flood back over the coming days and weeks to mitigate this sadness.

I lost my mum six weeks ago. Like yours it was expected but the last week was so so sad. I also kept replaying the last day/hours over in my mind. I wasn't with her when she died but arrived shortly afterwards and I couldn't get this out of my mind. It's faded now and I have happier memories of her.

I’m so sorry, onyx.

My mum died of cancer, and it was expected, and I know just how you feel, although realistically it was a ‘good death’ for my mum. Despite that, I couldn’t fall sleep even when exhausted for the replaying of my mind in those very early days. It did feel like a surreal waking dream state, almost.

It’s very normal, I suppose.

The best thing is to go with it. Stop trying to sleep. Make tea, listen to a podcast, tell us about your mum here if it helps to type.

Sending love.

I'm so very sorry. Please know that you are in the very worst of it just now....be kind to yourself and look after yourself. It's awful, but it will get better. XxX

I'm sorry for your loss, I hope that you have some real life support and that you able to take the time you need to grieve

Yes - always happy to listen on here. Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than people you know. Please be kind to yourself xx

Hi, I also lost my mum on 13th October from stage 4 ovarian cancer. She had been diagnosed 6 years and we knew we had come to the end of treatment options but it was quick at the end, we were told 2 weeks and it was only 36 hours.

I still cry nearly every day, the first 5 days I felt as if the pain was almost physical as well as emotional.

So sorry for your loss OP, it’s horrendous pain I know. You couldn’t have done more than you did for your mum. The awful images will fade in time, and happier memories will surface. Take each day as it comes. Wishing you all the best

So sorry for the loss of your Mum. It's so normal for your mind to constantly think about the last few hours or few days before death. Even with a more gentle death the whole process can be traumatic for those left behind. It's a lot to process. I think you just have to go with the flow and see how it goes.

I'm so sorry. The images will go and good things, happy memories will be the first thing in your mind, they really will x

I’m so sorry for your loss, op. x 💐

So sorry for your loss, OP. Sending you love and best wishes.

Hello OP. Just wanted to check in with you. I hope you are doing ok.

@DeoForty
Thanks for the check in - that's very kind. I'm doing okay, just taking one moment at a time, allowing emotions to come up and pass through. Feeling relieved that Mum's suffering is now over .

You're doing the right things OP, it's a slow road and grief will come in unexpected waves.
Take care of yourself and think of your lovely mum happy and well, pain free.
I had a lot of dreams after the deaths of both of my parents, which were usually very comforting.
I'm sure that your mum is keeping a loving eye on you 🌸