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Tomorrow is the date i lost my Dad from a total tragedy that should not have been :0(

38 replies

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 19:33

Never times that go by that i don't think of him, he was a fabulous Dad, everything a child could want as a parent, not just saying that it's the truth.

He was happy, intelligent & popular, he had succeded in life, he had 3 wondeful kids & my mum of course

I miss him so much, he made the 12 years of my life total happiness, he was my friend as well as my father.

He liked a drink, loved football & golf & enjoyed his holidays abroad.
He lived the high life, owned boats, snazzy cars & big houses & he also lived the less life, nothing ever changed the person he was though, everyone just loved him, he was like a big cuddly teddy bear so warm.

He brought a pub (one of his many dreams) he had worked towards this through life it was a B&B is well, massive place in Rye east sussex, brought in the november 1994 & sadly died from a tragic accident 19/01/1995.

I will never ever forget the awful night, everyone was there my older sister had come to stay with us & couson's they were all drinking & playing card games in the pub, Dad was having his usual G&T with a slice of lemon, i saw him knock his drink back & walk off towards the other end of the bar, 40 mins later my sisters had a bad feeling.

"where's Dad she said"

"not sure Mum answered"

So off they went to check all the beds, when he's had a drink you would find him snaring in a bed somewhere, unfortunatly he was not in a bed he had fallen down the cellar stairs

The stairs were steep & concrete, it's a mystery to this day why he went there only explanation is there was a toilet next door & maybe he was ment to go to that? walked in thinking it was the loo but it was steep, steep steps

He died instantly from head injuries, he was 47 years old.

I will never ever forget that night for the rest of my life, my world turned upside down, he was my world.

I miss him so much it hurts.

R.I.P Dad xx

OP posts:
mehdismummy · 18/01/2008 21:21

my dad died in august 2004 he had been in hospital with a bad back and seemed to be on the mend. I remember the night my auntie rang and told me dad had terminal cancer and they only gave him six months to live. I just remember crying as i spoke to him on the phone. Just saying daddy over and over. He kept saying its ok its ok to me(sorry crying whilst posting this) he died two weeks later. I lived with him when my parents divorced and as op said to he was the perfect dad. Still get sad especially as he never saw ds. Have a photo of us at my wedding where he is just looking down at me with his arm round me. Wish i could have five minutes with him. Thought of seeing medium but where do you start?

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 21:31

mehdismummy - your post brought tears to my eyes i am so sorry about your Dad

I have thought of seeing a medium but also thought it may freak me out a bit, my friend lost her dad 1.5 years ago she said to me when she feels right would i go with her, i am thinking about it.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 18/01/2008 21:32

As well as always wanting to tell them when their grandchildren do something special, it's the little things as well that make me sad - my Mum loved daffs and she died at the time of year they are most prolific; she had planted some at my old house but when we moved I forgot about them (November) and she didn't see this house so I don't feel as though she is here so much.
I am trying to pluck up the courage to ask the girl who bought my house if I can go and lift some bulbs.

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 21:43

Thats is very true Wisteria it is mostly the little things that make such an impact.

I would ask the girl i am sure she would oblige it's a lovely thing to want to do

Through his life my Dad owned & ran a flower stall, he loved lilyies (sp)? white ones.

We have a fab picture of him out in the wind & rain with his flower stall, he was in his element

OP posts:
UniversallyChallenged · 19/01/2008 11:31

Hope you ok today scooby x

mehdismummy · 19/01/2008 12:41

thinking of you today scooby.

chocolatespiders · 19/01/2008 12:47

thinkin of you he sounds wonderful....

keep those happy memories going

edam · 19/01/2008 12:49

so sorry, Scooby.

Hulababy · 19/01/2008 12:51

So sorry. He sounds great.

ScoobyDoo · 19/01/2008 18:38

Well today has been busy, ds had a birthday party to go to I had to get everything ready as it's dd's birthday tomorrow so been to the shops.

Have thought of Dad all day, have cried & feeling down this evening, the night is always the wrost as it happened just before midnight

Am trying to be strong!

OP posts:
Lulah · 19/01/2008 19:22

Hope the day was bearable and that you did have some good memory moments.
My best friend and soul mate took his life suddenly 2 years ago and there s not a day doesnt go by when he isnt in my thoughts.
i choose his birthday to totally remember him .
I have felt angry not only at him but at another friend whom had she not blown me out on the night it happened i would have been with him and perhaps it would have made a difference??
were you angry if so does it go? some days it totally consumes me.
however with five kids and a wonderful man i carry on but miss him madly.

ScoobyDoo · 19/01/2008 20:06

I am sorry for the loss of your friendit is so so hard when you lose someone close

I was very very angry for many years after, i always asked the question Why? i never found an answer, i could ask it to myself 20 times a day still with no answer.

I think in the end the anger goes because no matter what you do or how angry you feel nothing will change what has happened, you learn to live with it & work out how to deal with it but just never ever get over it.

Today i sat in my car & thought to myself if only my dad was here, how good life would be, how happy life could be & was trying to think about how he would be now.

Life is unfair sometimes.

Be strong, try to think of your friend looking down on you, would he be saying don't be angry be happy?

When i cry sometimes i think of that film ghost i sit & think my dad is next to me giving me a hug saying be happy i am here, i can see him laughing with his red cheeks

I know it's silly but it makes me feel better.

OP posts:
Lulah · 19/01/2008 22:23

we await a long drawn out inquest because of certain circumstances (in May )i hope after this i can stop feeling angry. Thanks and this was abou you after all. Chin up

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