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Tomorrow is the date i lost my Dad from a total tragedy that should not have been :0(

38 replies

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 19:33

Never times that go by that i don't think of him, he was a fabulous Dad, everything a child could want as a parent, not just saying that it's the truth.

He was happy, intelligent & popular, he had succeded in life, he had 3 wondeful kids & my mum of course

I miss him so much, he made the 12 years of my life total happiness, he was my friend as well as my father.

He liked a drink, loved football & golf & enjoyed his holidays abroad.
He lived the high life, owned boats, snazzy cars & big houses & he also lived the less life, nothing ever changed the person he was though, everyone just loved him, he was like a big cuddly teddy bear so warm.

He brought a pub (one of his many dreams) he had worked towards this through life it was a B&B is well, massive place in Rye east sussex, brought in the november 1994 & sadly died from a tragic accident 19/01/1995.

I will never ever forget the awful night, everyone was there my older sister had come to stay with us & couson's they were all drinking & playing card games in the pub, Dad was having his usual G&T with a slice of lemon, i saw him knock his drink back & walk off towards the other end of the bar, 40 mins later my sisters had a bad feeling.

"where's Dad she said"

"not sure Mum answered"

So off they went to check all the beds, when he's had a drink you would find him snaring in a bed somewhere, unfortunatly he was not in a bed he had fallen down the cellar stairs

The stairs were steep & concrete, it's a mystery to this day why he went there only explanation is there was a toilet next door & maybe he was ment to go to that? walked in thinking it was the loo but it was steep, steep steps

He died instantly from head injuries, he was 47 years old.

I will never ever forget that night for the rest of my life, my world turned upside down, he was my world.

I miss him so much it hurts.

R.I.P Dad xx

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Karen999 · 18/01/2008 19:35

Oh Scooby.....sorry to hear of your loss. Your dad sounded wonderful. Sending you hugs...x

JohnnyDeppsMrs · 18/01/2008 19:37

Oh gosh Scooby, I'm so sorry

He sounds like a wonderful dad.

psychomum5 · 18/01/2008 19:37

, thats really sad.

sending my thoughts.

my uncle died 10yr ago on the 13/01/98 and he bought me up like his own. We knew tho as he had been ill. makes it so much harder for you tho as you were so young, and he was so full of life.

Mercy · 18/01/2008 19:38

Blimey Scooby, what a terrible shock that must have been for all of your. Your poor dad I read a similar story in the Guardian mag recently, it really shook dh and I.

Best wishes to you and your family.

tortoise · 18/01/2008 19:39

So sorry scooby.
He sounds like he was a wonderful dad.

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 19:42

Thanks everyone, actually got tears rolling down my cheeks, was in labour with dd last year so no time to sit & cry she was born 20th.

The place which it happened is www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/25/25094/New_Inn/Winchelseahere this is where we moved to, beautiful place but such tragic memorys for me.

Psycho - Sorry to hear about your uncle it is awful losing someone so close

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/01/2008 19:56

Scooby, and psycho

Anniversaries are awful, aren't they.

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:00

They are awful, the day for me is ok it's the night it happened around midnight, i will never forget it.

I remember mymum on her hands & knees with head in her hands screaming no, no please, she had to be put to sleep that night just to get through.

I sat on a stall in front of the lit open fire, crying, i remember my couson coming over saying please move, i said no, then i saw my dad being stretched out in a black body bag by the paramedics i put my head down & sobbed

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cornsilk · 18/01/2008 20:03

My dad died suddenly 20 years ago, anniversary soon. You never forget but the grief is eventually replaced by happy memories.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 18/01/2008 20:04

Dreadful, dreadful memories for you.

You were so young too

ROSEgarden · 18/01/2008 20:05

Oh no scooby..so sorry for you and your family, will be thinking of you.x

Aitch · 18/01/2008 20:08

what cornsilk says is true, but it does take time and you do have to cry and cry. so sorry.

TheMuppetMuggle · 18/01/2008 20:08

scooby so sorry for you
thinking of you and your family x

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:09

My problems started then, i never went out for about 8 months, i did however eventually learn to live with it.

The good thing is although i was only 12 i had so so many happy memories i had a fantastic upbringing & my dad was very involved with us, my brother was only 10 & they were so close, he has never ever even learn't to live with it, totally off the rails now.

Life goes on i suppose.

Thanks for all your support

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UniversallyChallenged · 18/01/2008 20:13

Oh scooby, you've made me go goose pimply. So much love for him pours out of your post. Thinking of you xxxx

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:19

Hey i will never forget the time when he was sitting down watching tv & i was being really cheeky trying to torment him, i pushed him & pushed him in the end he jumped off his seat & i legged it up the stairs he was chasing me behind with his slipper in his hand i turned & he stopped & just started laughing he was so out of breath

I never did get that smack with the slipper!

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dolally · 18/01/2008 20:24

so sorry scooby. I hope you can hold on to the good memories out your tragedy. So traumatic at that age..any age I suppose

Friend of dd's (12) lost her dad just before christmas - a coronary at the age of 42, in the house at breakfast time as they were all getting ready for school. Poor kid I think she's still in shock, whenever I have her in my car since then she gabbles away about everything, except her dad. I sometimes wonder whether I should ask her how she is feeling.

CantSleepWontSleep · 18/01/2008 20:25

How terribly sad Scooby .
Did your mum run the pub without him, or did you have to move again?

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:31

She did it for 1 yr after but it totally wiped her out, my eldest sister & her husband came & lived in the pub/hotel & my brother in law ran it, we moved to house 5 mins down the road.

My mum worked from 6am till gobe midnight 7 days a week it nearly killed her.

after that yr we moved back to surrey where we originally lived all my life, my dad is buried here so nice to have him nr now.

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ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:33

My dad's dad then died (my grandad) a yr after my dad they believe it was from a broken heart he went down hill when he lost his son

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TaLcY · 18/01/2008 20:35

don't know what to say scooby....

You are hurting....i send my love

A beautiful and touching post x

Wisteria · 18/01/2008 20:35

Anniversaries are the time to wallow, if you feel so inclined and can - so have a good weep and enjoy your lovely memories of the Dad you did have, he sounds fantastic, I shall be thinking of you

fortyplus · 18/01/2008 20:38

That's so sad, scooby

It's so easily done - a neighbour of my mum's was visiting a friend in her new house and went to the loo which was through a door off the kitchen. Unfortunately she went the wrong way and walked straight into the cellar, fell down and broke her hip and died of a blood clot three weeks later.

We have the same set up in our house - utility & loo one way off the kitchen - cellar the other. When the boys were small I used to keep it locked all the time.

psychomum5 · 18/01/2008 20:44

anniversaries are so hard aren't they?

I don't cry anymore, and felt very guilty at the time as I couldn;t cry back then (I did tho lots when we found out about his illness. I think I did all my grieving then TBH).

I look back now tho with shock that it has been so long, and sadness that he never got to meet my DD3, or my sons, who would have loved him!

and also, my uncle was my 'safe person' while I was growing up as he was the only one who stuck up for me when things were tough.

I do feel tho, that if we can look back and know that they were good people who actually lived good lives, then they left behind good legacies in those of us still here.

at least they made happy marks on our lives.....they leave behind a well of love that is something to cherish on days such as these.

ScoobyDoo · 18/01/2008 20:52

psychomum5 - I totally agree, i know my Dad would be proud of me i also know he would have adored my children he could not wait to be a grandad, my eldest sister was pg at the time but he died january & my niece was born march so he just missed her, he knew she was coming though

My ds has many of my dad's traits & also looks, i have one picture of ds when he was born & my god it is my dad it freaks me out.

If i could have just 1 wish it would be for my dad to meet & see my kids i know they would then live in his heart forever, he loved children.

I must get a pic see if i can add it to my profile for tomorrow, bless his heart.

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