Mum

[whythewait]

I lost my Mum just before Christmas and managed to arrange everything and deal with the practicalities for my Dad. I went back to work after the funeral but now 6 weeks later I just can’t stop crying and feel overwhelmed with the finality of it all. I’m holding it together in front of the children but as soon as they go to school I’m a total mess. I know there is no easy way through this but it just hurts so much 😞

Hi @whythewait how are you? I self referred for Bereavement counselling the other day. Its a 4-5 month wait, I wasn't sure if it's right or not. But I thought it gives me a while to think about it. See how I am at the time, they said if I feel I am not ready I can decline at the time. It might be worth thinking about for yourself.

@Orangesox I am so sorry for your loss.
There's quite a few of use going through this at the moment. I am here if you need anything too.

Hi everyone, I lost my mum to glioblastoma on the 31st of January after a year of fighting. She was buried on Friday. I feel absolutely incapacitated by grief. I never expected to feel this bad. I dealt with her illness on autopilot I guess. Answering a question is exhausting never mind running a house, looking after children. I’m getting irritated by people telling me to get up and get on, who still have a mother. This is a grief I’ve never experience. She was mine and my children’s life. I’m sorry for all of your losses. If truly am. 💔

Grief is a physical thing, it affects you as a physical illness would, sapping your strength and making everything harder to do.
Anyone telling you to get on with it @Manson74 can get in the bin, as far as I'm concerned.

Losing a parent is hard. I remember when my mum died looking at the sky and trying to work out where she was.

I remember the tears, the pain, the emptiness. The cycle of it all. She will still be with you. Grief is a journey, it does get easier.

My mum died 16 years ago. I still hear her voice every day. She’s still with me. The wound heals, but the scar remains.

One day the rawness will heal, but she is always with you.

Hth

Hello all, sorry I’ve been quiet it’s been a busy few days. I’m very much up and down, I think my boss thinks I’m perfectly fine but behind closed doors…well I’m sure you can all relate. I’m so sorry that so many of us are going through this, @AlDanvers I think counselling can only be a good thing I might look into this myself x

I am so sorry to everyone who is in the same situation.

@whythewait I think up and down is the best we can expect. I wish had some words of wisdom that would make it all slot into place for you. ❤

I am so sorry to everyone who knows what this feels like.
My lovely dad will be gone 5 years at easter , it feels like yesterday.
It does get better , life does go on, what choice is there ? i th ink about him every day ,i miss him every day ,sometimes a good cry is needed and i do it in the shower , pull myself together and get on with it.
When we have a party or celebration i imagine him there ,he is still a massive part of our family , his love will never end ,we talk about him a lot and we laugh.
I know its said repeatedly but there are no rules to grief and if someones things are around for a long time what does it matter , the right time will come eventually when you are in the right frame of mind to tackle things .
You do really need to look after yourself and your family with such a loss , not much else matters.

Hi everyone. I'm so sorry for all of you who are posting here. I lost my mum 20 years ago next month. She was 47 and I was 21, and for a very long time I was devastated. I had never felt pain like it. I took a few wrong paths, and I was extremely angry with everyone and everything. Someone only had to mention their mum in conversation and I could've jabbed them. I felt like my world had stopped, and I wanted everyone else's world to stop. She died the same day as the Queen Mother, which didn't help much either. I had people say to me, 'Well, the Queen is going through exactly the same as you'. Not helpful at all.

My mum had always been a person who enjoyed life to the full. Even when she was poorly she still looked at the positives. She was such a strong person, and she didn't want to leave us, she couldn't stay any longer though. Her fight ended.

I'm trying to avoid any cliches here, but I do know that with time, it does get easier. For all of you that have just recently experienced this horrendous and life changing moment, I promise you that it does get easier. You will never, ever be the same again, but you will be able to think about the good memories without breaking down, you will be able to look at pictures and smile, you will dream about them and it will feel good and you will be able to carry on. I think you get the carry on from them, they would've wanted you to continue your life and eventually be able to smile and be happy again. Please don't think I'm trying to undermine your grieving, I'm still grieving 20 years later, but it does become more manageable. You will always miss them though.

Much love to you all and thank you for allowing me to share something with you all ❤