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Bereavement

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My lovely dad died suddenly

55 replies

warnc007 · 26/01/2022 20:46

My fantastic dad died suddenly yesterday, only 73 and relatively fit and healthy. He'd been to the gym, come home and was fitting a towel rail in the bathroom as it was loose. It looks like it was a heart attack, my mum heard a thud but thought he'd dropped the rail (it would have been very likely) so didn't do anything. She went up a few minutes later to sort out lunch with him and found him on the landing. She tried to do CPR and called 999, but the paramedics couldn't save him and he was pronounced dead before I got there. I had to ring my brother and tell him to get there and he had to ring me to tell me to not rush as there was no need.
There was no indication of him feeling unwell (he would definitely have told my mum if he had felt poorly), there was nothing anyone could have done even if my mum had gone up straightaway. I feel guilty that I wasn't there with my mum and brother when they pronounced him dead, although I know that it wouldn't really have changed anything.
I've had to tell my 7 and 8 year old this morning, my daughter absolutely doted on him and is distraught, my son is being a bit more stoic (we think he doesn't know how to react and so is internalising all his thoughts). My brother isn't coping at all and won't let me help him (not that I know how). I've spent the day with my brother and mum, trying to sort whatever admin bits we can, but we can't do mum until the PM has been done.
I don't really know why I am posting here as there's nothing anyone can do, but it seems to be helping me to write everything down at the minute. Thanks for reading my essay.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 26/01/2022 20:48

I’m so sorry 💔

crosbystillsandmash · 26/01/2022 20:48

Oh op I'm so so sorry, you must all be in a state of shock.
Tell me about your Dad if that helps? Thanks

wishing3 · 26/01/2022 20:52

I’m so sorry and am holding you in my thoughts. Xx

warnc007 · 26/01/2022 20:53

Thank you, he was brilliant, like many dads, always there when I needed him, he was mostly retired but has been volunteering for months at our local vaccine centre to help out the NHS.

OP posts:
Knitter99 · 26/01/2022 20:54

Oh I'm so sorry. You must be so shocked and sad.

Take care

LifeOfBriony · 26/01/2022 20:56

So sorry to hear this Flowers

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 26/01/2022 20:58

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Theworldisfullofgs · 26/01/2022 20:58

I'm so sorry. Its hard and very similar to how my Dad died (a long time ago) It's a shock and it will take a while to process. Give yourself that time.

He sounds like an amazing person who really put himself out for other people.

tiredvommachineasaurus · 26/01/2022 20:58

FlowersFlowersFlowers

InFiveMins · 26/01/2022 20:59

Bless you OP Thanks such sad news, truly devastating. He sounds like a lovely man and you are lucky to have had such a wonderful father. Keeping you in my thoughts xxx

Shmithecat2 · 26/01/2022 21:00
Flowers
Bipbopbee · 26/01/2022 21:00

I’m so very sorry OP Flowers

MeanMrMustardSeed · 26/01/2022 21:01

I’m so sorry. Losing my dad suddenly was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. He sounds an amazing dad. I’ve got through by trying to focus on being grateful that I had a brilliant father, and by supporting my mum as much as I can.

Do you want to tell us any more about your dad? It’s wonderful that he’s been volunteering with the NHS. It’s thanks to people like him that we’re coming out the other end of all this.

I hope you’re mum is doing okay. It must be the most terrible shock.

johndglynn · 26/01/2022 21:02

Bless him, RIP. Working up to the end and crossing over quickly is how I would like to go. It's no age to leave one's family but it sounds like he was loved, and that is a wonderful thing x

BeanAnTae · 26/01/2022 21:06

I'm so sorry to read this OP. He sounded like a treasure, such a lovely man. You and your family must be in shock. Take care of yourself.

Flowers too to the other posters who have lost loved ones.

warnc007 · 26/01/2022 21:06

Thank you for all the kind comments, I am going to try to get some sleep soon, barely slept last night but your comments are giving me some comfort now so thank you everyone.

OP posts:
GreySweater · 26/01/2022 21:13

What a terrible shock for you and your family. Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man. So much for you to try and take in. Keeping you in my thoughts x

LaPufalina · 26/01/2022 21:18

So sorry warnc007, he sounds like a brilliant dad and grandad.
I lost mine a year ago, similar age, but to Covid so we had about two weeks of him being ill first Sad my kids are younger and I was devastated they didn't get more time with him.
The book "it's ok that you're not ok" by Megan Devine helped me, and also talking about him a lot.

SouthernFashionista · 26/01/2022 21:20

I’m very sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful dad. Flowers for you

HeronLanyon · 26/01/2022 21:20

Op I am so so sorry. I lost both of my parents suddenly (separately sorry that sounded odd).
It’s a big huge shock.
I promise you it will be ok but right now just take one one moment at a time. Be support and ask for it and take time yourself when you need it. Eat and drink when you can. Ask for help when you need it. There absolutely amazing bereavement threads here which helped me massively when I went through it.
Your poor mum and brother too.
Support.

thirdtimenow · 26/01/2022 21:20

I'm so sorry op xx

IntendingWell · 26/01/2022 21:22

I'm so sorry. I can relate to this as my dad also died very unexpected and suddenly. Sending you love.

FancySomeChips · 26/01/2022 21:22

Sorry for your loss. Xxx

IBloodyLoveMichaelJackson · 26/01/2022 21:23

So sorry xx

Clarkey86 · 26/01/2022 21:25

I’m so very sorry. He sounds like an absolutely wonderful man. I lost my mum in the same way, to a very unexpected heart attack, almost exactly one year ago - so I mean it when I say I know how you feel. Mum was 63 and doted on my 4 year old. It is so so tough, but it will get easier. Do what you need to do to get through the days xxx