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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

My childrens Dad died yesterday.

74 replies

grecianurn82 · 26/12/2021 16:19

We've been separated over 4 years but spoke almost every day. He looked after the children in my house while i worked. I hadn't heard from him in a few days and his phone was off so i asked the police to break in, no one else had keys. They did and found him. Its surreal. I'm so lost.

OP posts:

Terminallysleepdeprived · 26/12/2021 17:12

Oh god I am so sorry. I saw your post yesterday and was hoping for a better outcome.

Hope you are ok and that the kids are too

feelingdizzy · 26/12/2021 17:16

I'm so sorry , my children's dad , my ex husband died ( Covid) earlier this year it's a difficult grief that's hard to name and hard to process . Let yourself feel what you need , take time to support your kids and you . I was surprised how sad I was , and how much I needed to grieve so give yourself time .
For your kids be open to questions , check in regularly and just be there the emotions can be big . Thinking of you xx

CambsAlways · 26/12/2021 17:19

So very sorry for the loss of your children’s father, sending a virtual hug

FreeBritnee · 26/12/2021 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

User57327259 · 26/12/2021 17:26

I am sorry to hear what happened to your ex. Poor kids especially as they do not understand. As a PP said it is hard to understand grieving for an ex but it is very much a grief.

Wishing you and your DC the best at this difficult time.

Musicalmaestro · 26/12/2021 17:26

I am so sorry too hear this. He has been a significant part of your life. It will take time to sink in.

Echobelly · 26/12/2021 17:32

I'm so sorry it turned out to be the worst case. Take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.

oakleaffy · 26/12/2021 17:36

So sorry, OP.
I had a friend who died shortly after Christmas, it was me who ''Flagged up'' his non answering of phone, door, &c..
My friend's death was so say ''Inconclusive''.

I still miss him, especially at this time of year.

Well done to you both for keeping a civil relationship together. This is a rare thing nowadays.
Keep his memory alive and positive for your DC.

strawberrymilk7 · 26/12/2021 17:43

Sorry to hear this. He was still very much so part of your life and you children's lives so of course you feel lost. It is ok and normal for you to be upset even though ye weren't together any more

icedcoffees · 26/12/2021 17:44

So sorry for your loss OP, how awful.

Be kind to yourself

LazyDaisy22 · 26/12/2021 17:44

I also saw your post yesterday. So sorry to read your update. It must be such a shock for you. Please do come here to talk if it helps.

flashy44 · 26/12/2021 17:44

So sorry for your loss,big hugs to and your children x

Igmum · 26/12/2021 17:45

So sorry for your loss. Sending love ❤️

Hopeisnotastrategy · 26/12/2021 17:47

I am so very sorry to read this. Look after yourself and be gentle with yourself. This will take time to process, so take strength and lean on those around you. Sending a gentle hug. x

scoobydoo1971 · 26/12/2021 17:48

I lost a relative in similar circumstances recently. Had to break in to make an awful discovery. I can only recommend that you take every day step by step. Using the 'Tell us once' service is helpful once you have a death certificate for speeding up formalities with Government agencies. Very sorry.

PeterPomegranate · 26/12/2021 17:48

I’m so sorry. What a shock. A former colleague of mine was found by the police who had to break into their house. We were no longer close but it feels so sad to be found like that.

Wishing you and your kids well. Please call on real life friends and family to help.

Ilovewillow · 26/12/2021 17:49

I'm so sorry, this is awful news and you must, understandable, feel lost!

Dontjudgeme101 · 26/12/2021 18:03

So sorry op 💐💐💐💐

Faretheewellmyfairyfay · 26/12/2021 18:06

I am also very sorry for your loss and that of the children involved. I think I did see your post at the time, but didn't have anything to add at that time and you had had some excellent advice. You sound like a wonderful considerate ex-partner and mother .

spinduffy · 26/12/2021 18:07

I saw your post yesterday and my heart broke for you all. I have no words other than to say I am thinking of you and can’t imagine how hard it is for you x

hedwigismyowl · 26/12/2021 18:08

Saw your post yesterday and didn't get the opportunity to say how sorry I am for your loss

KatherineJaneway · 26/12/2021 18:12

Sorry for your loss and that of your dc

GrazingSheep · 26/12/2021 18:15

I’m so sorry to hear this

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 26/12/2021 18:20

I'm so sorry, OP. I was sincerely hoping that the outcome of this situation wouldn't be the one you had most feared. Terrible situation, terrible timing, and simply awful for everyone concerned. Sending you condolences.

ThePlumVan · 26/12/2021 18:37

I saw your post yesterday and I think you knew then it wasn’t going to be good news.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My DC dad died 2 years today. It’s a loss like no other. Thinking of you x

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