My mum died

[Brokenhearted02]

Hi, I don't expect anyone to reply to this, I just need to get it out. I hope you guys don't mind.

My mum died yesterday. Fuck, it hurts to type that.
She was my world. It was always me and her, even after she and my dad got married and had 3 more children.

I can't believe I won't see her again. I never got to say goodbye to her. I was too late to the hospital. Fucking covid. The doctors said she was coming home within a week. I drop stuff of to the ward for her the day before. Why did she have to die. I just want her back.

I had to tell my two children that she had gone. They are only 13 and 10. It's not fair.

She was 52 and the most amazing, strong, kindhearted woman ever. She was always there for me no matter what. She taught me all the important lifeskills I needed. She was the most amazing grandmother to my children. They miss her so much too.

I don't know how im going to get through Christmas without her. It was her favourite holiday, and she was planning to decorate the tree in the style of the 70s with all the old fashioned style ceiling decs to go with it.

People keep asking me if I'm okay. I want to scream "of course I'm not. I'm shattered" but I say "as well as can be expected".
My eyes and face are so sore from crying.

I just want her back.

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

Oh my dear, I'm so sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry, how terrible for you.

I'm so sorry OP

Sorry, OP. I lost my mum in October, she was in her fifties too. It's really shit, a month on I'm still crying regularly. I'm told it becomes easier to live with eventually.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry

So sorry. So young and so unfair. I hope your children and other family and friends are a comfort to you. Write down everything you feel and allow yourself proper time to grieve. It may be that by the time Christmas comes, you feel like putting some decs etc up in memory of your mum- and if you don't, that's fine too. Love and strength to you x

I’m so sorry your mum has died. God love you. I hope you will find some peace.

Oh OP there is nothing I can say to ease the pain you are feeling right now but just to say I am so so sorry for your loss. xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds like a wonderful woman

I'm so, so sorry. You mum sounds like a wonderful women and this must be so painful for you and your family

Far too young and so horrible for you and your young family. I'm so sorry, please remember to eat and drink, it's so easy to forget the basic self care after such a horrible event but your DC need you X

I’m so sorry for your loss. That sounds so sudden and unexpected.

Do what you need to scrabble through the next few months.

So sorry for your huge loss. Sending love, warmth, strength and peace to you at this extremely difficult time. A massive hole in your heart and soul now... it will take time to heal... be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve xx

OP, I am so so very sorry to hear this. I know you're not ok now, you've been dealt a tough hand. But I'm thinking of you and hope sometime you will be ok. It might not be today, tomorrow or even next year but some day

Thank you all for your lovely words.
I currently have the 13 year old asleep in my bed. I'm grateful to have them and they definitely help to give me focus.

for those of you who have lost someone too.

Sorry for your terrible loss OP, your mum sounds like an amazing woman

I'm so very sorry 😞

I'm so sorry, I lost my mum in her 50s too, it never leaves you but will get easier to bear. You've a journey ahead but you will get through it xxxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mum sounds wonderful x

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry op. 52 is so young.

My mum died 3 months ago and I posted here too. I also didn't get to see her or say goodbye because of bloody covid. It's not your fault, don't feel bad about it.

There is a lovely supportive thread in bereavement with a group of us who have recently lost a parent. Please drop by if you feel you would like to.

Sending love and thinking of you.

I'm so sorry OP
Your post completely resonated with me and I could have written pretty much the same thing when my mum died 16 years ago. It's taken me a long time to feel 'ok' and then I lost my dad 3 months ago (I didn't get to the hospital in time either) and I feel like I'm back to square one.
Just try to go easy on yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through each day.

So sorry OP. I'm 6 weeks on from losing my mum (also unable to see her in hospital), and its very hard. Be kind to yourself.

My mum passed away on the 12.11.21. It was her birthday she had turned 61. Due to covid we were not able to see her as she was in hospital for 5 days. She tested positive for covid 2 days before being admitted and contracted pneumonia and sepsis immediately after her hospital admission. We saw her after she passed. We are still in shock as she left so quickly and she had no underlying health conditions,was fit and healthy and always on her feet keeping busy. She was the glue that kept us together. I don't think we will ever get over it but I don't want to. She was my best friend and I never want to stop thinking about her, I will carry on implementing her teachings on my life 😔

I’m so sorry OP swindling you lots of love and support