Why do I feel like this?

[Stunnedscared]

My mum died in June, went back to work after a week, we’re WFH still. It was bad but I managed not to cry when people were kind on screen. A bit sniffly sometimes but ok. Weeping in between meetings with camera off sometimes. DH hugging and making tea.

My DH died very suddenly in Aug. Signed off for three weeks. I’ve been back ok, same thing, mostly coping fine on camera, sometimes weepy but now it’s just me in the house.

Tomorrow we have a F2F meeting with lots of staff I haven’t seen in person for 20 months.

I am in bits. I’m crying at the very thought of going to another city on the train, meeting all these people who will be kind/embarrassed/awkward and trying to be ‘normal’. I can’t think, I’m panicking. What do I do?

You have been the very opposite of weak!

Well done

I really do think you are to be commended for even doing this at all - I am full of admiration for you.

Oh and you're not weak!

💐💐💐

There's nothing weak about mourning the people you've lost. It's a testament to how wonderful they were that their loss hurts so much.