Funeral on the deceaseds birthday

[Charleymouse]

My Mum has unexpectedly passed away this week
Due to the sudden nature of her death and her previously being in reasonably good health we have to have an inquest.

The funeral director has indicated the earliest the funeral can be held is second week in November. This week is also my mums birthday.

What would you think if the funeral was held on the deceased's birthday. I mentioned it to my husband who thought it was a weird idea.

My logic is the funeral will be a hard day. Her birthday will be a hard day so why not combine them and raise a toast to her on her birthday.

What would you think of this? Please be kind as not sure if I am thinking straight at the minute. Thanks

@oviraptor21

I think it would be nice. You're never going to remember her birthday again without recalling her passing and her funeral anyway. For me it would in some way refocus the sadness of a funeral on to the happiness of her life.

This. Sending some Unmumsnetty hugs your way.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t think it’s weird. You do what feels right for you.

Grief is so personal so what my family would do might be very different to yours. My granny's funeral was held on Christmas Eve. It was sad of course but also a joyful celebration of her life and good to be with all the family. My other granny died on my birthday. They were both really important throughout my childhood and into adulthood. I think if them both often but rarely think of the day of their funeral. I remember every moment of hours before my dad died. I think of that day often but not so much his funeral - it's been 9 years. Still hurts. So sorry for your loss, just do what feels right for your family.

My papa's(grandad) funeral was on his 80th birthday, we all as a family thought it was a fitting way to raise a glass or ten to him.

I’m not sure how I’d feel having both on the same day.

We had a Prosecco toast for Mum at her wake though. She’d have loved it.