@66babe hello and thank you for asking, thank you all in fact. Mum is still with us although as a shadow of her normal self. I have been through your messages several times, often in the wee small hours and taken so many different ideas and comforts from them. Absolutely yes to the power of music and touch, I put on a tune she used to dance to with her Dad as a girl when she was having a particularly confused/altered moment and she simply stopped, closed her eyes and bopped in bed keeping every beat, every call and response in perfect time.
There have been ups and downs. I've been home three times in the last month and twice called back in the early hours. We've had some absolutely lovely moments, quite a bit of singing, a lot of visitors - and that has surprised me, she loves, loves, loves that and will eat with company. There's been some tears but not too much. We finally received help with care and have a troupe of women holding us all up and sharing the good & bad days, I'll forever been indebted to them. Social Workers have been nothing short of warriors for us.
Everyone at home has been letting my sister know how sick Mum is without explicitly stating that she's dying. Today she told us that Mum's nearly ready for heaven. She has become the carer and attends to her every need, sleeps in her room and sits patiently when Mum sleeps, calling me when she wakes.
The children know she is dying and are able to manage their sadness alongside demonstrating their love. Her grandson sat on the floor to make a garland for her wrist from flowers and ribbon after they had arranged flowers together at her bedside. She has a card to wake up to when she opens her eyes.
Your voices have rung clear, thank you so much for sharing those precious times. I'll be searching for lavender, cwtching and talking for as long as we can.