Not coping so well tonight

[KatyMac]

I lost my mum about a months ago - not Covid - but of course Covid meant I didn't see her

It comes and goes in waves & I guess tonights waves are just a very high tide

A month is no time at all. Everything must still feel so raw. Take care of yourself.

I’m sorry to hear about your loss OP only a month in and it will still be very raw. I hope you have got a strong support network around you in these difficult times and take each day as it comes, hopefully as time passes the grief will get easier to deal with but from experience it doesn’t really ever go away, just fades into the background. Sending my love.

Very raw - that's a good explanation

Thanks

I'm finding working hard - but not working is harder if that makes sense

Fortunately I'm self employed

It is such a hard feeling to come to terms with is grief, I think the best thing is to try and keep occupied but not to try and fight it, it will come
In waves but when it does just accept it and let it wash over you like a wave that will pass, please take care of yourself

Losing your mum is soooo hard. I was devastated. All I can say is feel the pain, acknowledge it, cry whenever you need to, it is completely normal. I thought my heart would break sometimes. Sending you a huge squishy hug OP

I hadn't realised before how much a 'funeral' ad a 'wake' were coping strategies or grieving techniques

My family are being excellent at keeping in touch but it's different to seeing them

today has been better emotionally - mainly because I put my back out and have had to concentrate on that!

Yes you are right funeral and a wake give you time and space to remember the person you have lost. You can tell others about the things you love about the person and what you will miss. The things that made you love them, the things that made you want to give them a good shake … but you will still miss. The things you wish you had asked and to tell people the things you wish you had said.

We can't make up for that - but we will listen.

So sorry
I am going through the same. Really bad days. Better days.Disbelief. Sad thoughts. Happy memories. Guilt and regret. Broken hearted, but then gratitude that she was my mum.
We all grieve differently, the only help I can give is take it as it comes, step by step.
Loving thoughts

@mrsdrudge it's just pants isn't it!

Shielding even as a family is quite lonely & the pain I am in right now just makes me want my mum

Thanks @Unescorted xx

So sorry OP 😞
Today is 8 years since we lost my mum - it's better - but still raw. I feel for you. Give her that special place in your heart where you can always find her and communicate with her xx

I've been told grieving is a process. But, we are human, and processes are damn hard and long.

Time does seem to make a difference, not initially, and having other family to support/talk about her may help you, if you are close.

You will have low days/nights, heartbroken times, and happy memories, all in a twisted roller-coaster ride of emotions.

It is hard. I lost my Mum this February (not the virus), wasn't able to go to her funeral as she died abroad. That was so upsetting, but I sat in front of a church with her photo and sang a song we loved.
Still, I know she is with me, in me &will always be part of my life.

Your Mum, will always be with you, her words and her little ways the you may have/will adopt. You don't get used to losing her, you just miss her in a different way. And you will be okay with time...

Peace and love

Just checking in to see how you’re doing x

Not great

Yesterday was pretty awful (for what reason I don't have a clue)

How about you?

I keep thinking of everyone with losses and it pushes me over; I keep trying to work - but my mum hated my work so I get confused/upset

Sorry you’re not feeling so great today. Sometimes for no apparent reason some days are worse than others.
Sending you a handhold - perhaps a better day tomorrow. I’m sorry I can’t be more help but you are in my thoughts xx

You words from before - disbelief and guilt!

Are you are OK?

I’m ok today thank you, but had a tough couple of days last week.
Sometimes the guilt and regret overwhelm me. What I could, should have done. You always think there will be tomorrow or next week to put it right - and suddenly there isn’t. It’s so hard.
Do something nice for yourself today if you’re feeling crap. Your mum wouldn’t want you to feel like this, making the most of your own life is the biggest tribute you could make. Much easier said than done though.
I’d love to hear more about your mum if you feel like sharing xx

It makes you wonder how some days are better than others xx

I wonder too - I have found in my experience there is no reason or logic to how people are affected. Sometimes I can feel grateful and smile that I’ve had such lovely people in my life, other days I want to curl up and cry and scream and not be here any more because I find it unbearable that I won’t see them again.

I lost my mum almost a year ago and find the ball in a box analogy helps me with accepting the difficult days, sometimes my grief is still so raw, but days they I expect to be difficult such as my recent birthday are better than I’d anticipated. Grief is such a complex range of emotions, it’s hard when you don’t know why it’s hits you like a ton of bricks. Take care and be kind to yourself.

www.boredpanda.com/ball-in-box-analogy-dealing-with-loss/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=organic

@NotSoFlatStanley thanks I think that will help in the future (I actually think I used it to help someone once as I had forgotten but I've come across it before) but today it pushed me over an edge and I sobbed (not a bad thing)

We watched Hamilton (again) today and I had a wry smile as she hated it - not a massive fan of musicals,rap or America!! Then an episode of Anne of Green Gables which she would have loved!

I’d never seen the ball in the box thing before. Hits the nail on the head. Thank you for sharing. I hope it helps you too KatyMac x

Different days different emotions - it changes sometimes hourly

I really appreciate talking about it and everyone's help/support

So yesterday was weird - I got 5+ hours of good solid work done then spent nearly 2 hrs in tears at midnight!

Today hasn't been too bad just a bit dull emotionally