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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

FITH PREGNANCY, WITH FOUR M/C'S...HELP

75 replies

melliek · 04/10/2004 14:57

Hi everyone, its been quite awhile since i've been on but her goes. I am on pregnancy #5 and scared to death. I have not had a sucessful pregnancy yet, It always seems to stop growing at around 7 1/2 weeks. This is my fourth pregnancy in one year and the docs have started there testing but nothing yet. Is there hope? Has someone else suffered from reacurante m/c's and finally had a baby?
It is really hard not to get my hopes up , like I did last time ---and was dissapointed in the end. Please, someone, anyone, this must happen to others with a happy ending...right?

OP posts:

Original poster

melliek · 29/04/2005 00:02

Hey all, its Thurs nite, a few days after my doc's appt. It wasnt all that i had hoped for, but the one good thing is my HCG level is 6239 which is right about normal for 6 wks. She wasnt able to perscribe me the progesterone because its not her feild. As of right now we are waiting to hear back from the specialist which deals with high risk pregnancies to see weather or not he will take me on now. She is trying to get me in for an ultrasound next week, nine weeks, and thirteen (God willing it gets that far). So...all in all, I felt much more sympathy from her than my other doctor which was nice.
So, all in all its a waiting game now. UGH! I will keep you all posted but its so hard to stay upbeat about this you know,....you want to think positive but at the same time that sick feeling is always in the pit of your stomach.

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bunny2 · 29/04/2005 06:31

Melliek, great to hear from you and thay you are pregnant. My fingers are crossed so tightly for you. After 2 mcs my last pg was very stressful but had a very happy outcome, i really REALLY hope you have the same. Push for those scans!

xxx

Jezebel · 09/05/2005 21:14

Melliek, thinking of you. Do let us know how you are if you feel you can.

Original poster

melliek · 10/05/2005 20:43

Hi Ladies, sorry about being late with this update...you know how it is when you are frazzeld.I had went to the specialist last wed and all went well. He did an ultrasound and the baby showed 6wks with a heartbeat...so this means that I ovulated on day 19..a week later than expected. My only concern is that the heartbeat was only a little over 100. The doctor told me that he was not concerned by this as he has seen this happen before and the baby turn out fine (mind you one other time when i had an u/s done at 6 wks it was that slow too so I am concerned about that) He has put me on progesterone which i take 3 times a day and I am also on low-dose asprine. So....needless to say he is trying to help me and I do feel somewhat calmer but still very scared. I go see him again on this coming mon which he will do another ultrasound....I am petrified about it. Scared that I will not be able to deal with a bad outcome. So, next tues I will be 8wks along which means that this is my week that will tell all..!
I will let you all know what happens come mon, keep your fingers crossed for me...and your toes...LOL

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hana · 10/05/2005 20:46

all is crossed over her!! that' sgreat news so far, hoping to hear more good news next week!!

jangus · 10/05/2005 23:57

Just to let you know that I am keeping everything crossed for you... hope you are feeling well and staying calm.
xxx

Diddle · 11/05/2005 07:47

melliek - everything is crossed for you, hope it all goes well

titchy · 16/05/2005 12:46

Any news yet? Thinking of you xx

charleepeters · 16/05/2005 12:51

any news melliek were all thinking of you and your little beany hope alls well keep us updated love charlee xxx

Original poster

melliek · 16/05/2005 19:35

Well all....not good news today. I kinda had a feeling (fri I woke up and thought right away that I was no longer pregnant), so I was not surprised. It stoped growing at 6 wks 4days so it was shortly right after my visit with the doc the first time. He is sending me for a slew of more blood tests, to see if mabey there is something more.
So, now, I have to make a decision. Its been two weeks that it hasnt been growing. So I wait to see if I will pass it naturally(which my body does not do....it could be 4 months) go for a d&c which I have already had 4 so that makes me a little nervouse. My last choice is to take the pill which you insert inside of you to open up your cervix and starts the process. The only thing with doing this is that it is so tramatic emotionaly (my dh and I are separated now so I will be doing this alone) and if you have ever had this it is aweful. My last d&c they started me off with it first and the blood was almost fritening, as well as the size of the clotts that I was passing. So.....I really do not know what to do. How can I go around with my body looking and thinkign that its still pregnant when all I want right now is for it to be out of me and over with.
What would you all do? I mean ....after this many, which is #6, im just stunned and do not know what to do.

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GRMUM · 16/05/2005 20:04

Melliek I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this again. I have no advice as I really don't know the ins and outs of the different options. Is it dangerous to have the d&c again?

gingernut · 16/05/2005 20:04

Oh melliek I'm so very very sorry this has happened to you again, and you have separated from your husband too . I remember you from before. I really don't know what to say but my heart goes out to you. As for your question, from what you say I personally would be inclined yo go for a d&c because the pill option sounds very unpleasant and at least with the d&c you know everything should be sorted out physically.

I do hope your new doctor manages to find some answers for you.

I'll be thinking of you.

bunny2 · 16/05/2005 20:16

melliek, I am so sorry life has dealt you another cruel blow. I really hoped this was going to be the happy outcome you want.

I cant advise you on the best thing to do - have you been told another d&c is a bad choice? Why? Is there a medical reason to avoid having one?

Thinking of you
xx

Original poster

melliek · 16/05/2005 22:29

Hi Ladies...thank you for your kind words and support. I havent really let it sink in yet...kinda in shock I think.
The doc said that where I have had so many d&c's there is the possibilty of making the lining of my uterus too thin. I have had 4 of the in less than 2 years..soooo. Plus the whole surgery aspect of it and all, going under and meds.
I just really dont know which route to go.

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gingernut · 16/05/2005 22:58

So, has your doctor actually said which option he considers best? If so, I'd be inclined to take his professional advice. Hope you have someone supporting you IRL BTW. xx

bunny2 · 16/05/2005 23:22

melliek, I didnt know that about d&cs. I am having one tomorrow (for a never-ending period) which will be my third one in 3 years. I assume a thinner uterus can have ramifications if you want to get pregnant, perhaps in your shoes I would consider the pessary/pill. I wouldnt want to wait for my body to kick start the process on its own, both my miscarriages were missed ones and I dont know how long my body would have taken to expel the foetus, possibly weeks. I will be thinking of you over the next few days, I wish you lots of strength.

RachelRog · 17/05/2005 19:37

Hi Melliek
I had my first m/c 8 weeks ago now so I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling having had a few
Mine was a missed m/c found at 12 week scan.
Like you I couldn't decide but I knew I definately did not want to walk around waiting for my body to m/c naturally so I would never choose that option!
I opted not to have a D&C as I was told there was a very small risk of them doing damage to the womb or cervix.
I opted for the tablet to stop the production of hormones and then to return 2 days later for pessaries. Luckily I did not need them and it started naturally and I lost most of it at home.
It was very traumatic and like you I lost alot of blood. When I eventually went to hospital I fainted on the toilet!
Looking back I think I did the right thing but at the time I said if I had to do the same again I would have a D&C.
Take a bit of time to think about it and take professional advice.......I am sorry you are suffering like this and I wish you all the best!

Jezebel · 19/05/2005 13:28

Melliek, I am so sorry. You sound like a lovely person. I am going to keep an eye on you should ypu be generous to carry on posting on Mumsnet and praying with all my heart that you get the outcome you so desire.

Original poster

melliek · 20/05/2005 20:51

Hi Ladies, well, the decision was made for me. On Tues I had a call from the doc saying that they had a cancellation and I was to go in on thurs morn at 9 for a d&c. I was a little overwelmed but things always happen for a reason so, mabey it was best for me to get in sooner than later. Everything went fine, no cramping today and hardly any bleeding now so we shall see if it stops all together now. I think I am still in shock because I havent really dealt with it all emotionally yet. Part of me says alright, mabey next time will work out , but then there is another part of me that thinks I will never have a baby. The only good thing is this doc sending me for more blood tests. He does believe that it is a little past coincidence now. Soooo....the only thing that I can do now is hope that my hormones will go back to normal now without me getting all wacky....God knows I had cried enough in the past so I think im pretty dried up!
Again, I cannot tell each and everyone of you how much these kind words that you have alll given me help so much. It really does help talking to people that have suffered the same...because you really dont know the pain until youve been there.

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Jezebel · 23/05/2005 21:14

Good luck with the results of the blood tests. And I wonder if your doctor will refer you to a specialist centre. I had 5 losses all very early and a blood clotting thing (Factor V Leiden) was diagosed - this was only discovered by science 10 years ago. A combination of aspirin and heparin seems to be working even though consultant is sceptical as to whether this is just a placebo for me. I wonder if you can ask to go on heparin as well as aspirin next time you get pg - even if they don't find anything. I understand research in this arena is still fairly new and that there may be blood clotting issues that have not been detected as yet. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

pinksofa · 23/05/2005 21:21

melliek just wanted to say thinking of you, so sorry that you lost your babies, take great care of yourself
pinksofa

Clara1 · 23/05/2005 21:47

Melliek, So sorry to hear about your traumas. It is just not fair. I have had three m/c - similar to you in that they saw a hearbeat but then later on started bleeding whihc is when they discovered that the baby had died a couple of weeks earlier. Been through so many tests that looked like a junkie with all the needle holes in my arms. All the antiphospholipid (clotting) tests came back normal and was told just bad luck. But then went to St Mary's where found I produced too much thrombin which treats the placenta as an invader and clots too strongly so the blood flow to the baby is stopped. Been told to take 150mg (75mg which is considered a low dose is apparently too low for this problem) of aspirin as soon as I get another positive pregnancy test (if I can face it again) So I would just say that it is worth persevering with as many tests as you can get as there might just be one that has been missed. I really wish you all the best for the future. LOL

angelkiss · 01/07/2005 15:20

Melliek, have just read your messages and just wanted to tell you my story (briefly) to give you some hope. I had 3 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy and had given up all hope of ever having a baby. I then decided, after being told by the consultant that there was no reason for all the problems (all were before 8 weeks) to try something different. so I had acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine for a year before trying again. i had our beautiful dd in september last year (04) and the pregnancy was trouble free (although not without huge amounts of panic!). so all i want to say to you is don't give up hope and when the time's right maybe think about trying something like acupuncture (best if the acupuncturist is eastern medicine trained...they look at the body in such a different way)
Good Luck x

PaintedLady · 20/08/2006 08:53

have a look at times article on dr shehata

dizietsma · 20/08/2006 17:07

Melliek, how awful to have suffered so much, you're a strong woman to have lived through such loss.

I don't know if telling you this will be helpful or not, but my best friends cousin also had six inexplicable miscarriages like you and now has a family of five children. The last three were unplanned as initially he got the snip and she became pregnant again, then she had her tubes tied and became pregnant with twins! I suppose I'm telling you this so you know it's not impossible that you'll have children if you still want to.

Good luck, whatever you do.

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