To feel like I’ll never forget my grandad.

[CD14]

So sadly this week I lost my grandad. I’ve never had a father so he was like a father figure. I lived there for the first few years of my life. I feel incredibly grateful I know him for 28 years.

Soo.. the funeral hasn’t been organised yet. After he is buried naturally I’ll visit his grave on his birthday, special occasions, Christmas and whenever I feel like I should.

I’ve been sat thinking this evening how my granny never speaks of her grandparents nor did my grandad. Likelihood is that they died when they were young but after some searching I find my grans grandmother died when she was in her twenties like me..

But I’ve never known my gran to visit her grave.. I’m not judging her on this at all.

I’m just curious and sad. I feel like going to visit their graves myself and laying down flowers but I wouldn’t know where to start but I know they are buried locally to my gran.

I can’t imagine ever forgetting him. I will still want to visit his grave when I’m an old lady myself!

I think about my grandparents a lot but never visit graves. That just doesn't appeal. We all remember people in our own ways don't we?

@ParkheadParadise I'm sorry. I see your posts about your dd and I can't imagine the pain you must feel.

I used to visit my Dads grave a few times a year, I don't go anymore since my totally batshit Mother put her second husband in with him. She thought it was completely normal, no one l have ever told thinks it's normal.

We had no idea as second husband was cremated, it was when the headstone went missing, we found out.

It’s 20 years since my Grandad died and he is buried in another part of the country so I do go to his grave. But I certainly haven’t forgotten him. I tell my children about him and I think of him often. I dream about him fairly often too.

My gran spoke a lot about one of her grandparents.

You won’t forget him, OP.

Especially your first time grieving it's normal to feel lost and not know what to do at all, without the previous experience it's difficult to know that you're going to get through it when you've never done it before.

I don't really visit graves but I always speak of all the people I've lost in conversations when something reminds me of them, you won't ever completely forget them. I don't have a lot of memories of my dad but I was 9 at the time and i still have some precious ones left which I ll always have.
It might take time but you'll find who you are without the person you've lost, you might not quite be the same but that's okay it means that you truly cared about that person.