What do I wear to my dad's funeral?

[Ilovearcticroll]

It's my dad's funeral soon. I don't own many formal clothes these days and certainly don't have a suit. What might I need to wear to a church funeral followed by crematorium? I genuinely want opinions, so don't be afraid to say it wouldn't be appropriate, but I intend at the moment to buy a new dress, probably some kind of print with a little colour, but not garish or bright, a dark cardigan and a pashmina style scarf to coordinate. I would probably not wear a suit for a long time and fear it might become a funeral outfit. I am giving the eulogy (unless I just can't, in which case there's a plan to hand it over to dh). Will what I've described be smart enough? Dh will wear suit, dds smart dresses and ds a shirt and chino style trousers. The ones he has are light, but I know he likes them and finds comfortable.
There will be lots of smartly dressed people and I don't want to seem out of place, but neither do I want to not seem like myself. I might need to buy a reasonably priced but smart coat (supermarket) as mine are waterproofs or a parka style one.
What do you think, based on experience? The last funerals I went to were grandparents, and I dressed smartly for work so had jackets etc then.

I was going to say I didn’t think a pashmina would be warm enough , you might need a coat and I see you now have one
I wore a grey dress with pink flowers on and a black jacket and shoes to Dads funeral , but it was in July , and the weather was better
There’s a lot of standing around , and even in a crematorium, you’ll be standing outside as people leave ( it’s almost like a receiving line at a formal event )
My condolences to you 💐

You should wear what you feel best in.

I tend to dress incredibly smartly and traditionally for funerals (tailored black dress, black heels, long tailored black coat). This isn’t normal day to day wear for me, but I feel that the effort I put in to my attire is part of the ritual of the occasion. DH is normally very scruffy and he has taken to my approach of really smartening up for a funeral - he says he enjoys the effort because it helps him feel like he is paying tribute to the person (most recently his very formal Grandad).

Maybe it’s a silly way to look at it?

I know others prefer not to be so stuffy in the clothes that they choose.

I wore a black wrap dress (which I already owned for work) and bright red heels.

Maybe it’s a silly way to look at it?

No, it's a lovely way to think of it - paying tribute to the person.

Your choice of clothes sound just right at my husbands funeral 4 weeks ago 6 of his closest friends wore the bright shirts that they wore on their boys golfing holidays every year.
I wore a full length black coat with a bright red scarf/gloves/bag and black trousers and lacy top which he loved.

I worn a long sleeve tea dress with subtle boats on because my dad was in the Navy . At my best friends last year I wore a floral midis dress because she loved bright colours and we wanted to celebrate her life .
Her daughter wore a evening dress type outfit because she wanted to and her mum loved her in it .. nothing is wrong , go with your heart .

So-i now have two choices. I bought a navy print dress, navy scarf and navy coat today (would have pleased dad that the coat was a bargain!). If I change my mind about black, I have the black dress that fits well and a yellow scarf to lift it a bit. The coat feels smart but not excessively formal. I think dad would have found it all acceptable!

Glad you’re sorted