What do I wear to my dad's funeral?

[Ilovearcticroll]

It's my dad's funeral soon. I don't own many formal clothes these days and certainly don't have a suit. What might I need to wear to a church funeral followed by crematorium? I genuinely want opinions, so don't be afraid to say it wouldn't be appropriate, but I intend at the moment to buy a new dress, probably some kind of print with a little colour, but not garish or bright, a dark cardigan and a pashmina style scarf to coordinate. I would probably not wear a suit for a long time and fear it might become a funeral outfit. I am giving the eulogy (unless I just can't, in which case there's a plan to hand it over to dh). Will what I've described be smart enough? Dh will wear suit, dds smart dresses and ds a shirt and chino style trousers. The ones he has are light, but I know he likes them and finds comfortable.
There will be lots of smartly dressed people and I don't want to seem out of place, but neither do I want to not seem like myself. I might need to buy a reasonably priced but smart coat (supermarket) as mine are waterproofs or a parka style one.
What do you think, based on experience? The last funerals I went to were grandparents, and I dressed smartly for work so had jackets etc then.

I have been through it with both parents. I'm sorry that your dad has died.
Please wear what you feel strong in.

Your plan sounds absolutely perfect.

Consider if the crem/church is likely to be cold- if so you might get away with black trousers, a comfy top and then just the new smart coat is visible.

People tend to wear more informal clothing these days. Generally dark colours. The outfit you suggest sounds perfect.

Sorry for your loss
I wore a dark/bottle green dress with a cream & light green scarf. I also wore a piece of jewellery my Dad had given me when I was little. I've worn the dress since, changed scarf and accessories and it actually had comforting memories, not sad.
Feel comfortable, your Dad would be proud.

I wore a black dress to each of my parents' funerals. It seemed 'right'.
A coat and / or jacket or cardigan would seem better than a pashmina - that doesn't quite 'fit' for me.
Other funerals I either wear a black dress or black trousers - very easy to pick up some black trousers even in a supermarket - and you'd get plenty of wear from them.

I've been to family funerals recently. I'd go for dark colours (though adding bright scarf or coat fine). Personally I'd probably go for plain rather than print, but I don't think it's a big deal.

I wore - black midi skirt, black top, dark green cardigan, aubergine scarf (big pashmina one) and my normal quilted winter coat.

My sister wore - brown patterned above-the-knee skirt, dark tights & boots, dark top, scarf & a wool winter coat.

I would wear what you feel comfortable in.
At my dd's funeral I was 7mths pregnant I had a black dress and a pashmina, i made the mistake of wearing heels.
At my mums 2yrs ago i had black skinny jeans smart top and long cardigan and this time i had my boots on.
Sorry for your loss @Ilovearcticroll

Sorry for your loss
Have you got friends/neighbours who you could borrow their ‘funeral best coat’ from? My black coat has been to a few funerals without me in it.

I'm sorry for your loss. Please wear what you feel comfortable in. It doesn't have to be black or dark coloured. If you don't want to spend a lot on an item for possibly one wear, look in the clothes section of a supermarket as they often do formal-type separates or smart dresses or just buy a new coat.

I wore black trousers, black and dark green top and a grey coat recently for my Dads burial.

What was your dad like?

Was he formal?

A funeral is a goodbye to the person you loved, you should wear something that feels right for the person you're saying goodbye to.

My dad was a jeans and T-shirt or even worse a jeans short, trainers and sports sock person

He was fun and lighthearted and never ever formal, we wore colour and comfy stuff, we played Frank Sinatra's 'I did it my way', we had a hog roast and an ice cream van and so many people came and told stories, showed pictures. It was a celebration.

You don't have to wear a suit. What you have described sounds fine but I agree I wouldn't rely on a pashmina for warmth - I'd assume I'd need a coat.
Agree wear something you feel comfortable in. It's nice to make an effort.

Myself , dd and dsis all wore black dresses to my mums funeral - I literally own no formal clothing but fortunately dsis and I are much of a muchness on size / shape and she has a bottomless wardrobe of ‘smart’ clothes and shoes . Wear whatever you are comfortable in and sorry for your loss .

Gosh-my memory is shot to pieces at the moment! Just looked in my wardrobe and I have two black dresses. I maybe will wear one of those but with a brighter scarf. Still thinking though. Dad was a formal person clothes wise, for funerals, but is being buried in his favourite work trousers and shirt that he did hobbies in (his request) and didn't necessarily expect formality of others.

Gosh-my memory is shot to pieces at the moment! Just looked in my wardrobe and I have two black dresses. I maybe will wear one of those but with a brighter scarf. Still thinking though. Dad was a formal person clothes wise, for funerals, but is being buried in his favourite work trousers and shirt that he did hobbies in (his request) and didn't necessarily expect formality of others.

I wore a navy dress with a small green flower print to my dad's funeral. My DM also wore a floral dress. We knew my DF would have wanted us to wear whatever we felt comfortable in. Just wear one of the dresses you have and don't worry about it too much. Be comfortable.

Wear what feels right to you. He's your dad, you say goodbye to him in the way that works for you.

I refused to wear black to my parents' funerals because for me it was important that the last occasion of their lives wasn't spent with me trying to conform to other people's made up rules and feeling uncomfortable and hopeless. It helped me to wear colour and feel I was honouring them and who they had been in life and the time we spent together. It was shit enough that they were gone without marking their death in some depressing black uniform and that invading my final memories. I picked their favourite colours instead.

That probably makes little sense as now I try to write it down I don't know how to articulate what I was feeling or why it mattered so much. I know other people - and you may be one - find ritual and conformity comforting at such times but I'm not one of them. The purpose of a funeral is to bring comfort, so if the rituals don't bring you comfort go with something that does instead.

I'm really sorry for your loss and I hope the funeral is as bearable as it can be.

I wore a bright pink coat to a funeral of a close family member as it was my only decent (wool) coat. I had black clothes underneath. It's actually a bittersweet memory now but I don't regret the choice.

I wasn't at my fathers funeral but everybody wore informal, bright clothes. What you suggested was appropriate too.

Well, I've just found a smart plain, long wool style coat in a charity shop for £12 so that bit is sorted. It was in hospice shop which, although different hospice, feels good because Dad was cared for in his local hospice. I think the black dresses are probably also from that shop-at least half my clothes are these days!

Sorry for your loss . Please wear what you feel comfortable in - most importantly what you wear on your feet . There is an awful lot of standing about , before , as you deliver the eulogy and afterwards at a wake / gathering
I wore fitted back trousers , white shirt and black cardigan , with black loafers to my dads funeral .
I chose black as I was very sad he’s died and wanted to show my grief - he was also very formal and would have been appalled if I hadn’t
My mum is now in her late 80s and I shall wear purple or bright colours when the time comes to celebrate her life rather than mourn.
💐

At my father's funeral before Christmas I wore a dress in a black, silver and dark pink pattern, with a black coat. I took off the coat to give the eulogy, so was just in my dress.

My mother wore a similar patterned dress she can hopefully wear again if she wants.

I didn't want to wear a solid black dress and it would have looked too draining on me.

SOrry for your loss.

Wear whatever you feel right in. For my dads funeral we decided to ask people to wear something colourful. I bought a new little dress which was black with pretty flowers all over it and a scarf. X

I can’t remember what I wore to mum’s funeral: I adored her, and I gave the eulogy, but all I remember is my bittersweet emotions and how much she would have enjoyed her wake. Your clothes sound perfect.

I wore a black jersey-material smartish dress (I think it was from the White Co) to my DDad's funeral. It was a dress I'd worn many times, and knew I felt comfortable in. With black boots and a black wool coat. I wear a lot of black already, so had all these things.

for your loss.