The last time I saw you...

[tiredteddy]

It was today, 2 years ago, the last time I saw my mum. It was rushed and hectic. I was cross with my eldest son For being late. My parents came to buy the children holiday reading books and took us all to costa. I said goodbye in Sainsbury’s car park. Who knew. That that would be the last time I ever saw you, hugged you, smiled at you, watched you watching me in that way that you did, your eyes smiling laughing at me your silly daughter. The last time I saw you said “oh I do love you” with the warmest of laughs. My three are growing and changing so fast and I miss you so much still. Don’t think it’s really getting any easier at all.

There is nothing like a mother’s love OP. I get that completely. for you.

Beautifully written OP

Both your love & grief just shine through

Thank you. Both. I just look at the photo we took. I find that so painful. Some people seem to thrive on photos and mementoes and telling stories. I find it so gut- wrenching. I feel like I lost a part of my self when she died, a mum is so much a part of who we are. Feeling so very lost today.

xx

Such a beautiful post OP. It must be so hard, I only know that my mum misses her own late mum so much she is always a bit sad at Christmas, Mother's Day etc. I reckon I will be the same. So lovely that your mum told you she loved you that day, wonderful in fact.

Thanks for reading. Yes, nothing like a mother’s love.

That's beautifully written tiredteddy

Thank you, that’s lovely that it reads like that.

Sending hugs, tiredteddy

Thank you that’s so kind

What a beautiful tribute to your lovely mum
Would you like to tell us more about her? So sorry you lost her so suddenly. That must have been an awful shock.

The loss you feel for your mum hurts me, such beautiful words. Your mother lives on in the memories you have shared and the love you have.

I don’t know how to ease your grief OP but she will always be with you, of that I’m sure xxx

Thank you both.
We went on holiday to France and the day before we were due to come home my dad called and she had had a heart attack. It was a huge shock. She was having treatment chemo for cancer but we were a long way from terminal. I was in shock for a long while I think.

She was lovely. She was my person. The one when anything happens good or bad who you want to tell. My biggest advocate in life. She was gentle and kind. And so clever. My daughter has asked to have her name added in as a middle name and we’ve done it by deed poll. She looks like my mum too.

Your mum sounds lovely tiredteddy

Thank you @ParkheadParadise

I lost my lovely wee mum in January and my heart is constantly breaking and I don't ever feel it will heal ,it was a lovely post and I totally understand your post I really do.

Sending you lots of love OP . I can totally relate to this , I lost my lovely mum 10 years ago , and still to this day miss her so much.

Although not the last time I saw my DH, I who died suddenly, I have photos of two days before at an exhibition. I keep the jacket and shirt he wore on that day, with the ticket I found in the breast pocket.

The day he died? An ordinary but always loving day. I remember coming back from the hospital, knowing he would die and seeing the two cups he'd put out for the morning cuppa: I was always up earliest so brought the cuppa to him in bed every day.

This is so heartbreaking to read. Your mum sounds amazing OP.

To be without that bright light of of love in your life, it will always be a little bit darker. It will feel very dark in those times when you really need her. But you are now that light to your children and your wonderful mum has shown you how to be a kind and loving mum to them.

It is ok to be sad about this forever Make sure to tell your kids about her all the time and how much she meant to you.

My OH's gorgeous mum died recently and I always try not to shy away from asking things about her, sharing my memories of her, etc. I will never stop thinking about her every day. I can't imagine how you feel.

Foxynoxy30 I’m so sorry you lost your wee mum. It’s very early days for you still. All I can say is that analogy about the waves is true, the space in between them gets bigger, they still hit with force though. Hugs for you.

Lonelyinacrowd. I guess it never changes. The season changing it’s a funny time, takes me right back. Only two years but so much has happened...

Echt, no words. Your dh sounds wonderful. What a whole he must have left. Those special things are so precious aren’t they. A part of them to hold onto like his shirt. Sudden loss is brutal. I hope you are ok...

Fairhairedfairy, thank you. She was a light in my life. My dh just found a picture of her and me, tbh I find photos and memories very painful still. But this one, how she’s looking at me in it, is just like that, the way I look at my kids, utter love. Darker days come and go. You sound a great support to your dh.

I have a difficult relationship with my mum but has a wonderful relationship with my dad, who died last year.

I really understand about the photos and memories and the passing of time.

He’s left such a big hole in our lives. I try to feel lucky and grateful when I’m sad. But something has shifted and changed forever.